When children are young, parents should stand in front and lead them. When children grow up, parents should stand behind them, follow them and watch them go. They just need to help their children at a critical time. When I was young, my parents were at the front desk, directing their children's growth. When children grow up, they should move themselves behind the scenes and let them take the stage to star in life.
This abdication is very important, giving respect, democracy, equality and trust, giving children psychological space for growth, independent rights, the right to choose, and at the same time giving them responsibilities. If you don't give in like this, children will either grow up or protest with rebellion and opposition for their own growth needs.
2. The theme education of adolescent rebellion is to change control into respect, and parents change from instructors to assistants.
Adolescence is a period of rapid physical and psychological development for middle school students. Physical maturity makes them feel like adults psychologically, and they are eager to get some rights of adults, such as independence, privacy and the right to speak.
Looking for new standards of behavior, eager to change social roles. Therefore, parents should regard this psychological need as a normal psychological need, respect and understand their children, try to be as little as possible, and give them certain autonomy and decision-making power. The role of parents should be changed from mentor to assistant.
3. Change preaching into an example, talk less and do more.
Preaching can easily become a lesson, because the attitude of preaching is condescending. The premise of preaching is that children must listen to their own words as truth, but in fact many adolescent children are disgusted with their parents' preaching. What is more powerful than preaching is teaching by example, which plays a role of example and demonstration. Practice it for children, don't talk endlessly with children, and don't turn a warm family into a preaching class. It is better to talk less and do more, and show it to the children.
4. Change the order to discuss, eliminate treason and ease relations.
Autocratic parents like to order their children and take their own wishes as the direction of action, but adolescent children are no longer afraid of their parents' deterrence and begin to obey such mandatory orders or openly resist. It is also respect for children to discuss with them. If you talk to your child in a gentle tone, you can ease the contradiction between parents and children and have a good parent-child relationship.
5. Learn to communicate and be friends.
Adolescent children may sometimes "call a spade a spade" and oppose you for no reason, which is also the characteristic of children's growth stage. Therefore, parents should learn to tolerate their children, put down their airs and be aware of their parents. Make friends with children and communicate with them on an equal footing, as Dong Jinyu, an education expert, said: "The ideal parent-child relationship should be intimate and care for each other like friends.
Put humanity, dignity and equality in the highest position. "If you can't do it at the moment, you can try to imagine that the child standing in front of you is not your child, but your colleague. In this way, you will reduce your anger and dissatisfaction and respect your children, so that good communication can continue.