When we get along with people, the most important thing is communication, which is one of the most important skills to maintain the relationship between people. Learning to communicate can not only promote harmonious relationship, but also reduce some unnecessary misunderstandings. Good communication also applies to the dialogue between children and parents. We will find that children who grow up in a harmonious family and communicate smoothly are also very smooth when communicating with others. Such children often have very high emotional intelligence. Then if you want to cultivate children's good habits of communication, you must start from parents themselves and learn to talk to children well.

My friend Xiao Wang's child was diagnosed as "panic disorder" when he went to the hospital for examination not long ago. Parents were frightened when they learned that their children had this symptom. The reason is that after a child failed the exam, Xiao Wang criticized the child very severely and even moved his hand. My friend Xiao Wang believes that excellent children can be produced under the club, and strict education can promote children's success. However, as soon as he criticized playing with children, the children suddenly developed symptoms such as numbness of hands and feet and blurred eyes. When they arrived at the hospital, the doctor diagnosed it as "panic disorder", saying that the child was frightened, and the child had been silently suffering from psychological problems caused by never expressing.

Since then, my friend Wang Gai Jr. has changed the mode of educating children and tried to communicate with them more. When children do something wrong, they also change their countermeasures and treat them as gently as possible. After several times, Xiao Wang's children began to open their hearts to their parents, and the symptoms of "panic disorder" gradually disappeared.

We all know the importance of communication with others, and sometimes our parents will pay a little attention to the way of communication at work, also for work reasons. When I came home to face my children, I might have put aside the shackles of work and thought that children were my own by-products, so most of them lost the patience of communication. Talking to children once or twice is problematic. In the long run, children become closed to their parents and slowly form a vicious circle. So how should our parents adapt to this situation? Speaking can learn the principle of "I am information-oriented".

This is a technical way of speaking, and the opposite principle is the principle of "you give information". A sentence with the same meaning, expressed in your direction and mine, gives people two completely different feelings of obedience.

The principle of "I am interested in information" pays more attention to expressing my own views than criticizing. "I have confidence" is a combination of behavior, feeling and influence when expressed. For example, what should our parents say if the children naughty spill toys all over the floor and don't put them away? In the way ordinary parents talk, they may blame their children as soon as they come up. Why don't you clean up your toys and make the ground so dirty! Get rid of it! But what if we use the principle of "I have faith" to speak? Parents will say: Your toys are all over the floor. Mom just cleaned the floor very hard, so I was angry because it would make me clean it again.

Two different expressions, if you tell your child separately, which one may think it is wrong to help your parents clean up? I believe it should be the second one. Because when we express ourselves, we add our feelings, so we are angry. Instead of just saying, I'm angry How could you do that?

Lincoln once said, "If you don't get along with the people you love, you will lose." . This short sentence also emphasizes the importance of family harmony. So in real life, what causes the constant friction between parents and children?

1. imperative sentence

This category mainly refers to strong parents. Many parents are of course in a "strong" position when facing their children at home. Talking to children, many of us will ignore the equality of status, and talking to children is either reprimanding or ordering. Let the children do the dishes, and they will say, do the dishes quickly, just like giving orders to the children. This command language is very easy to cause children's disgust and discomfort.

This command situation is likely to lead children to choose forbearance when they are young and unable to fight back, but once they feel that they can be unique when they grow up, they will talk back to their parents and fight back physically and verbally. Therefore, parents must refuse to communicate with imperative sentences when communicating.

2. Lack of respect for children

Every child has his own dignity. Basically, children who are just beginning to understand something will have it, but we adults often ignore this part of the child. For example, children attach great importance to one thing, but parents may selectively ignore it and think that the child's speech is not important. This disrespect for children will also obliterate the feelings between adults and children.

In the movie Dog Thirteen, the hero was depressed because his dog was lost, but his family found a dog that looked like him to perfunctory the child, which seriously hurt the child and didn't respect him. It is not advisable to think that children are still young and have nothing to fool around with.

1. Communication with children "I want information" since childhood

Children's communication work should start from an early age, which can also help children establish their own language system and have a great impact on their future growth and communication with others.

Many people think that children are only 2 or 3 years old. Is it necessary to be so early? Can the child understand? Facts have proved that children of this age can already understand some aspects of language and physical behavior. Therefore, when we communicate, we can use more body language and expressions to convey to our children. When children can speak fluently, we should consciously guide them to express their feelings more and let them express their emotions slowly and accurately.

Parents should always pay attention to their first feelings.

The so-called first emotion is the first emotional response when we face a thing. Of course, we also have a second emotion. Under normal circumstances, we may have two emotional reactions to things. What we have to do at this time is not to let our second emotion exceed our first emotion.

For a simple example, the child accidentally knocked over the water in the kettle. Our parents' first emotion may be that their children are scalded, and their second emotion may be how they accidentally knocked over the kettle. In expression, if the second emotion exceeds the first emotion, we will blame the child: how did you knock over the kettle! How to walk without looking at the road!

Originally it was kind and distressed, and the expression really sounded like scolding. This is inappropriate. So when we speak, we should learn to control our second emotion and try our best to express our first emotion.

"I want information" is a good way to communicate with children. It can express our positive attitude and our feelings. Don't be afraid of trouble when we use it. Don't feel embarrassed to express our emotions and feelings. Only when we express it correctly can children really understand our intentions. Therefore, we should use "I tell information" more in our lives and refuse to let children guess riddles again.