It turns out that there is nothing to be afraid of in this case;
No matter how terrible the idea is, it is not terrible to say it.
On the second day after discussing the topic of "suicide", before going to bed, he suddenly sighed: If only human beings could not die!
(It seems that the topic of life education will be serialized, and the old mother will keep her mind steady and continue. )
Full of expectation, my son finally fell asleep contentedly, while I was lost in thought.
Children think about death earlier than we thought;
I remember when he was 4 years old, one night he suddenly asked me, "Mom, are you afraid of my death?"
Like many unprepared parents, I panicked and my mind went blank for a moment;
Before I could answer, he said to himself, "But I'm afraid you will die suddenly!" " "
From the "fear of death" at that time, I can talk about death frankly and interpret life from a positive perspective. From him, I saw the trace of thriving life.
Some parents will say, I don't want children to think too much, I hope they can be more naive;
But children don't want to, because we don't want them. Their little heads are full of ideas, including death.
Therefore, it is an ongoing life exploration to understand the meaning of life by knowing death.
So how do we face children's confusion about the thorny issue of "death"?
1 Seize the educational opportunity
China's life education system is almost blank, and children don't have many formal educational opportunities to learn about death.
Many developed countries have explored various forms of life education-visiting funeral parlours, watching movies or videos, scenario simulation, role-playing, interactive learning, etc.-to inspire children to think about death-through life education, children's awareness of life can be enhanced and children can cherish life more;
However, life education does not have to be carried out in the classroom, and a life-conscious parent can always find opportunities for education;
Show curiosity and don't rush to answer.
Two days after my son asked me, "Are you afraid of my death?", I attended the class "Imagery Outlook on Life and Death". Teacher Lu led us to think in class:
There is no answer to such a series of questions, but you can start thinking.
Just like the question my son asked me, the most important thing is not to answer, but to express curiosity:
In his questions, there are his attachment to me and his worries and expectations for future life;
Then we can naturally say how much I cherish him, how can we stay away from danger, and how much I want to stay with him until 100. ...
Accept the inevitability of death and sow the hope of life.
Sometimes we dare not talk about death with our children, partly because we have our own concerns: in the face of death, we seem powerless to change anything, and we are unwilling to face this sense of powerlessness.
But death is indeed a good invention of nature, because with death, the meaning of life can be infinitely expanded in a limited time-the anxiety of death has taught us to grow.
In "Mother and the Meaning of Life", Owen Yalong advocated by Paula: Facing death calmly can make people experience life in a richer and more satisfying way;
He summed up death anxiety as a formula: death anxiety is inversely proportional to life satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of living well, can alleviate the fear of death.
We take our children to discuss and accept the inevitability of death, and at the same time encourage them to realize their dreams; If you want to do something, do it at once!
For example, when children are in a dilemma in the face of important decisions.
When he was troubled by trifles
When he is dragged down by other people's expectations, honor and fear of failure.
When he didn't have the courage to take risks and was afraid of being rejected.
We can encourage him to think: "Life is short, what is the most important thing for you?"
Since the length of life cannot be extended, try to broaden the width of life and make it more textured!
Ask Grinch.
-End-
Liu Fen
Master of developmental psychology, national second-class psychological counselor, full-time psychological counselor of Dongfang Mingjian. Good at: family education, parent-child relationship, emotional distress, self-growth and exploration.
Text | Liu Fenbian Mei | Lv Man Review | Yang Wei Editor | Yang Wei zhanghua