First, it is necessary to realize that adolescent children are eager for heterosexual communication, which is inevitable for adolescent physical and mental development.
On the one hand, there is an obvious tendency to gang up in the spring of youth, and joining the ranks of peers will help teenagers get rid of their dependence on their parents; It is normal to like groups and group activities. Opposite sex communication is a compulsory course to cultivate correct gender roles and healthy sexual psychology. On the other hand, teenagers are rich in emotions, and their emotions are prone to ups and downs, mainly because they are eager for love, which shows that they pay attention to self-image, have a strong desire for self-expression, and are eager to be affirmed and accepted by heterosexual partners. Parents should pay attention to their children, often ask their children about their impressions of heterosexual partners around them, and understand their emotional tendencies and thoughts. At the same time, parents can talk about their adolescent heterosexual communication experiences and stories, so that children can express their views. It should be noted that it is best to avoid using the word "puppy love", because most of the heterosexual contacts in this period are only out of a hazy love psychology.
Second, we should guide children to understand that loving others is a sacred responsibility, not just self-centered.
Communicating with the opposite sex means learning to respect and care for the opposite sex, which means responsibility and obligation to the opposite sex. Just as cars can't be banned from the road because of a possible car accident, planes can't be banned from the sky because of a possible air crash. As parents, we should not always instill the "harm" of heterosexual communication into our children, but should fairly admit the benefits of heterosexual communication and the irreplaceability of "complementarity between the opposite sex". Only in this way can we have the premise of talking to children about heterosexual communication, and we can also talk about guiding children. Educate children to learn to respect each other when interacting with the opposite sex, including respecting each other's personality and wishes, not making unreasonable demands on each other, not forcing each other to obey your wishes, and being careful not to interfere with others' study and life at will.
Parents should support their children's communication with their opposite sex partners, help their children plan some spontaneous group or collective activities, and let them invite their opposite sex classmates to study or chat at home. However, parents should clearly point out that in primary and secondary schools, we should try to avoid "one-on-one" heterosexual coexistence. Parents should also negotiate the specific rules of heterosexual communication with their children.
Third, adolescence is a critical period for learning self-discipline, and successful heterosexual communication depends on consciously obeying the rules.
Adolescent heterosexual communication has many benefits, and parents should support it. The biggest support for children is to formulate rules of communication and remind children to learn self-discipline. Obeying traffic rules can avoid car accidents; Following the rules of heterosexual communication can avoid all kinds of troubles, crises, accidents and crimes. Let the children go through adolescence smoothly.
Parents can discuss the cases reported by the media or the plots of some TV series with their children, express their views and enhance their willpower of self-control. Being good at self-control in heterosexual communication can effectively avoid many unnecessary troubles and adverse consequences of sexual assault. In addition, self-control ability is based on a correct view of knowledge. Parents should also be frank and discuss issues related to heterosexual communication with their children. There is no need to be taboo. Any topic that children are interested in can be put on the table for discussion and debate. If necessary, they can also consult books and periodicals or consult experts.
Fourth, teach children to resist temptation, distinguish right from wrong and choose their own growth path correctly.
The social environment is complex and changeable, and teenagers will also face all kinds of people and things in heterosexual communication. If they lack determination or are confused by superficial phenomena, they may be deceived or eroded by negative things in society. What should we do? On the one hand, parents should set an example for their children in their attitudes and behaviors towards marriage, family and heterosexual communication; On the other hand, be "transparent" to children. Don't think that everything a child sees and hears is positive, so there will be no problem. The key is to guide children to make their own choices and protect themselves, especially girls. Some parents are busy with their work, or they only pay attention to their children's learning and don't pay attention to communication with their children. Parents can't be the emotional destination of children, and children can't tell their parents what they are talking about, so it is possible to talk to others, and some girls will find boys. Therefore, parents should often chat with their children to enhance their feelings. More importantly, you can grasp the child's psychological dynamics in time, find problems as soon as possible, and solve problems as soon as possible. If children are found to have puppy love problems, don't reprimand them, don't suppress them, and guide them more to avoid hurting the souls of freshmen and causing rebellious psychology; Visualized language, such as vivid metaphors and hints, can often play a very good role.
The desire of children to communicate with the opposite sex after puberty is an important symbol of the healthy development of teenagers' body and mind. If there is no such psychological need, it will be a question mark. Moreover, heterosexual communication is not necessarily love, but more likely interpersonal relationships such as classmates, teachers and students, friends and partners. Learning to live in harmony with the opposite sex is a preparation for future marriage and family, and also a necessary preparation for dealing with future career development and social interpersonal relationships.