On family education--on current family education.
With the continuous evolution of modern civilization, education has become a hot topic for hundreds of millions of families in China, and family education has been paid more and more attention by parents, because family is the first school for children and will never graduate, and parents are the first teachers for children. Every parent wants to have a successful child. At present, many parents lack art in family education, which makes family education not only fail to promote the healthy growth of children, but also make children lose their natural growth in family education. There is a natural marriage relationship between family and education, so family education will become more and more important in the development of education in China. Give children a good family education, provide them with fertile ground for growth, and let them discover the shining point of life, the shining point of human nature and the true meaning of life. This paper emphasizes the importance of family education from the perspective of its influence on children, lists several parent-child relationships in existing families according to the actual situation, and studies their influence on children respectively. Finally, some suggestions on how to make children have a good family education are put forward. I hope all parents can attach importance to family education and give their children a healthy growth environment.
Keywords: family education; Children; Influence; health
China Library Classification Number: G622 Document Identification Number: B Document Number:1002-7661(2014) 23-162-01.
First, the problems in contemporary family education
Theoretically speaking, family is the natural learning environment for children, and parents are their first teachers, which is correct. But how much can it be achieved in real life? There is obviously a difference. Because some parents don't even understand what is really correct family education, there are many problems in family education in China at present.
1, doting on children excessively. Most families in China today are? 42 1? Combination, four old people and a young couple gave birth to a child. If they get the treasure, they feel distressed. I'm afraid it will melt in my mouth, but I'm afraid it will fall into my hands? Everything has been arranged. They love their children like life, take care of them everywhere, and obey everything. They regard their children as the apple of their eye and obey whatever they want to eat and play. Parents do everything for their children, and even some grandparents do school work instead of them, which gradually develops into doting. This actually deprives children of the opportunity to learn life in life and exercise their will in adversity. Children have lost their diligence and carefulness, their ability of self-care and self-reliance, and their sense of responsibility and self-motivation. In fact, this kind of education of parents shows that they have no expectations for their children, give up the initiative of education and fail to fulfill their educational responsibilities.
2. Pay too much attention to the development of intelligence. Parents' unreasonable expectations of their children. This is a common family phenomenon in our society now. Causes parents to worry about their children's education? Too much? And then what? Less than? . Hoping for success and urgency make many parents pin their unattainable hopes or goals on their children. Although this is human nature and the embodiment of parents' love for their children, their expectations are too high, which makes them fall into the misunderstanding of distress. Some parents have outdated educational concepts, regard children's attending key universities as the only way out, only pay attention to children's intellectual development, judge children by their achievements, and ignore their sense of existence? Morality, physique, beauty and labor? And the development of children's personality. Let some children appear? Wisdom is high and poor, wisdom is high and weak? , or psychological barriers caused by excessive ideological pressure. A friend's child used to be the first in his class in every exam, but he could not accept the fact that one exam was the second, so he suffered from depression and could not continue to go to school. This shows that in family education, parents should not only pay attention to their children's intellectual development, but also pay attention to their other aspects of education in order to promote their physical and mental health.
3. The family atmosphere is poor, and the parents' education methods are simple and rude. Some parents adopt a high-handed policy towards their children, thinking that children should absolutely obey their own will and solve their mistakes in a simple and rude way. If a child makes a mistake or has poor grades, he will be angry and reprimanded if he doesn't ask indiscriminately. In the long run, have children? One fight at most? Negative thoughts or contradictory emotions. Over time, children dare not open their hearts in front of their parents, and there are communication problems between parents and children, which makes children's mood depressed for a long time. There are many such cases, so I won't say them one by one.
Second, good family education for children's suggestions
1. Establish a correct educational concept. As the main operators of the family-parents, we must first establish a correct educational concept, do not spoil children, do not shirk responsibility, do not be indifferent, and grasp the distance of love for children. In American family education law, there is a 20-yard rule, and the distance between parents and children is 20 yards, which can cultivate children's independent ability. On the basis of not conniving at children, we should convince others convincingly in the face of their mistakes.
2. Establish a correct view of talents. As the saying goes:? 365 lines, each line is a champion. ? Parents should establish a correct view of talents. James, an American psychologist, famously said that the most urgent need in human nature is the desire to be appreciated. ? The so-called appreciation is actually an incentive. It requires parents to be good at discovering children's advantages and strengths, and to affirm and appreciate them. Through positive psychological hints, they will constantly cultivate children's self-esteem and self-confidence, stimulate children's internal drive, and make children have both confidence and motivation to make progress. James also found that an uninspired person can only play 20% ~ 30% of his ability, and when he is motivated, his ability is 3 ~ 4 times that of before. Every child has his own excellent side and shining place. As a parent, he should have a pair of eyes that are good at discovering, a pair of eyes that appreciate and develop, so that children can get encouragement and efforts from their parents and develop in a personalized direction.
3. Establish a good family atmosphere. Chen Heqin, a famous educator in China, once said: For parents, family education is first and foremost self-education? . [1] Parents' own personality cultivation will exert a subtle influence on their children. When children come to this world, they first learn to know the world from their parents. Parents' words and deeds and the atmosphere of family life have a lasting impact on children's emotions, behaviors, morality and personality all the time. Parents should adhere to the principle of leading by example and teaching by example. Teaching by example is more important than teaching by example. This is the premise of family education. The so-called example is that parents use language to educate, admonish, enlighten, encourage and criticize their children, including writing, letters and establishing family rules. In family education, words and deeds are the methods and channels to understand children's various situations, exchange feelings, communicate ideas, give guidance, impart knowledge, encourage, discourage and criticize.
Good family emotional atmosphere promotes children's mental health and moral development; A good family democratic atmosphere enhances family cohesion and mutual communication, maintains the warm and harmonious relationship among family members, and promotes the development of children's personality and social ability; A good family cultural atmosphere enlightens children's wisdom, broadens cultural horizons, improves aesthetic taste and promotes the development of cognitive ability; A good family order atmosphere cultivates children's independent living habits, serious and orderly study habits and self-control and responsible behavior habits. It can be seen that a good family atmosphere is indeed the basis for shaping a happy life and ensuring all-round development, and it is also a necessary condition for a good family education.
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