Many families believe that? A good COP and a bad COP? The way of education, so? Tiger mother and cat father? This has become a very common model.
A dignified mother image, and an easy-going father image, a responsible? Discipline? Children, who are responsible for making friends with children, look very scientific on the surface.
In fact, this will lead to differences in educating children. The mother is too strict, which scares the children. So is dad? Enlightened? In this way, children don't need to be fortified.
In the long run, children can easily become? Two-faced? Use two faces to deal with different scenes. Mom seems to be? Villains? Isolated by children and husbands.
Two. ? Red and white face? What is the identity of?
Of course, it's not always that mom is red-faced and dad is white-faced. This educational identity can be multiple, and each family has different facts.
There are also many problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law They usually have great differences on the education of the next generation, which leads to disharmony in the family atmosphere.
Many times, mothers are educating their children severely, while grandmothers tolerate everything out of love for their grandchildren, even saying that their mothers are doing something wrong.
Mothers don't want their children to feel dependent because of grandma's tolerance, and then turn a deaf ear to their education, but the reality is always helpless.
Of course, some families have a red face for their father and a white face for their mother. To paraphrase an old saying: How much did a loving mother lose? This situation is also not optimistic.
Under the background of Chinese-style education, parents are very strict with their children's grades, but now is a free era, advocating the release of children's nature, so there are many contradictions.
3. Don't deny one side's educational viewpoint in person.
In fact, no matter which way, it is from the perspective of hoping that children can become talents. There is no right or wrong in truth, but the educational effect is really unsatisfactory.
We can always see that mothers are strict with their children, and fathers are helping to coordinate. Is this the so-called? Mud? Finally, it was a mess.
Indeed, sometimes mothers are too strict, which often leads to children's rebellious psychology. If there is a father to mediate, the child's mood will be relieved to a certain extent, and the mother can also reflect on whether her education method is correct.
But no matter how different their parents' educational views are, we should remember not to directly deny each other's educational views, but to make a decision after careful consideration.
Caring is confusing. Many times, parents often make decisions that they think are good for their children from an emotional point of view, but their views are often too one-sided.
Therefore, it is not appropriate for husband and wife to hold their own words, but to discuss how to give their children correct guidance together.
Four. ? What are the negative consequences of family education?
1 will confuse children's worldview. I don't know?
Xiao Na is a very introverted child. Obedience is the label given to her by her parents and adults around her.
Once, her parents took her to a party, and each child performed his talents. Xiao Na was also invited to dance by her parents.
Adults like it very much. Some people ask: Xiao Na, what's the name of your dance?
Introverted Xiao Na glanced at her mother and said nothing. Her mother looked at Xiao Na and said nothing. Some people stood there blankly. Now she is a little angry and says loudly, how do they teach you at home? Speak for yourself! ?
Dad looked distressed and quickly said:? It's normal for a child to be so young and not remember. What happened to him? ? Then I went to coax the aggrieved Xiao Na.
This kind of scene is common in life, and most people don't think it is a trivial matter.
In fact, what is reflected behind it is that singing the devil's advocate between parents will cause children not to know who is right and who is wrong and who to listen to. So people will appear once they ask questions? I don't know? Situation.
2、? Good COP? One side will be rejected by children.
The world of children is very simple. Whoever buys him delicious food, gently coaxes him and makes him happy, he thinks who is good to him, so he is close to whom.
In the education of children, when parents have different opinions, the role of white face is often more pleasing, and children will naturally think that speaking for him is good for him.
This also led to? Good COP? The other side often ends up being rejected by the child.
I even occasionally hear children say that they hate their mother or father, which really hurts their parents' hearts.
Perhaps sometimes, parents who are strict with their children are the most loved, while unreasonable children don't know it and can only wait for time to prove it.
3. The educational effect has been destroyed.
Every parent wants their children to get better and better, so whatever they do is from the perspective of being good to their children.
Of course, this doesn't mean that parents can do whatever they want, if they don't care about their children's feelings at all and just fight? For him? It is totally undesirable to give orders under the banner of ….
Many people think that singing bad COP at the same time will make children more obedient, but sometimes improper handling will lead to more and more children becoming rebellious.
Mom's education is strict, what should I do with my father around? Stir it up? It is conceivable that the educational effect will be destroyed by all kinds of mistakes made by mothers.
4. It is easy to breed family conflicts.
For a family, children's education often becomes the focus of attention of both husband and wife.
Therefore, if the educational views between husband and wife can't reach an agreement and the methods are unreasonable, it will easily breed family conflicts.
Only when both husband and wife have a unified standard for their children's education, can they get twice the result with half the effort.
Moreover, a harmonious family environment in which parents seldom quarrel is also beneficial to children's education. No amount of preaching is as effective as parents' example.
5. What should be the ideal educational model? 1. If you can have a set of programs, you don't need a second set of backup programs.
Children's education is a big problem, and it is difficult to determine what is right, so parents often prepare several sets of plans, some are coaxed, some are cheated, and some are strict.
Children always look at their parents' faces when they do things, so when parents' education methods are inconsistent, children will be at a loss and don't know who to listen to, and often tend to be emotionally biased towards the good side. At this time, family conflicts arise and children become more and more difficult to discipline.
So, if you can have a plan, you don't need a second plan. If we reach a common goal and viewpoint before education, there will be no conflict.
Of course, we should also give full consideration to children's acceptance ability, and don't blindly pursue strict education, which is easy to backfire.
In some families, mothers spend more time with their parents and educate their children, while fathers spend less time in it. Therefore, as a father who does not educate his children often, it is best to communicate with his mother in advance, and then understand and support his mother's educational methods.
If you really think there is a problem, please talk to Ma Bao before talking to your children. It is very important to achieve unity. Never be antagonistic, it will leave a bad impression on children.
2. Let children grow up in love
In order to pursue the best way of education, parents always listen to various lectures and read various books and materials, but when it comes to actual education, they have to break their original ideas.
When there is contradiction, the opposition between parents will reduce the effect of education. The best education is to let children grow up in love.
In the way parents always educate, let children take the first step to get in touch with society, thus forming correct concepts and values. Don't let children live under the education of asking questions, and don't let parents live in regret.