I got a good grade in grade one, but my grade in grade two fell below the average. My mother panicked, and family counseling became less and less effective. Interest classes such as dancing, singing and painting have been terminated one after another, and Chinese and mathematics cram schools have kept up. This class can't be changed, cram schools have changed one after another, and different teachers have changed one after another. Grade three grades have fallen to the bottom, academic performance is not good, and behavior habits have also undergone a major reversal: lying is becoming more and more serious, usually doing things one way and another, willfully refusing to listen to advice, and mom's appreciation and criticism are like a gust of wind, which can't arouse any ripples in the child's heart. Mom and dad want to cry, I don't know if there is something wrong with their education methods or if the children really don't live up to expectations. ...
After some communication with Wen Qing's mother, I seem to find some problems in my children's study, but I'm not sure. Although countless students have taught and experienced countless student cases, there is no definite method for teaching. I don't think I can draw a conclusion until I contact Wen Qing. The whole morning, the children's problems were finally exposed, and I also affirmed my own judgment: Wen Qing's passive learning behavior was caused by his mother, which was the misunderstanding of "accompanying reading" in family education.
Wen Qing has never checked his homework since grade one. His mother examined him. When there was a mistake, his mother explained it and asked the children to correct it. There are no mistakes in the homework given by the workers to the teacher. In fact, students' completion of their homework often reflects their problems in learning. Teachers can carry out targeted inspections to fill in the gaps. Mother's excessive tutoring of Wen Qing's homework covered up Wen Qing's real situation. In this way, the teacher ignores the children's specific learning process and affects the teacher's cognition of the students' real level. He always thinks that the children's grades are not bad. Even if there is an error in the exam, the teacher will consider it a reasonable fluctuation. The simple first-grade course, coupled with Wen Qing's early education skills, makes the class followers no problem, seemingly calm, but actually just covers up Wen Qing's learning motivation and abnormal psychology. From a psychological point of view, children's learning belongs to a complete personal behavior. The nerves in the brain are closely connected with the nerves in all parts of the body, including the coordinated movement of attention, observation, memory, thinking and imagination, so that the brain will not be tired. Just like many bends on the expressway are artificially set, the complicated road conditions stimulate the driver's brain, but the passengers dream all the way to the end, which is caused by the passengers' dependence on the driver. Wen Qing's mother is always worried about tutoring her children's homework in time to supervise their children's inattention and correct posture. Her practice has gradually made children feel dependent, thinking that they don't have to worry about problems they can't do anyway. After a long time, they will become lazy to use their brains to solve problems in their homework. With the passage of time, Wen Qing lacked self-determination and independence. In the second grade, with the deepening of knowledge, Wen Qing became a child who can learn but has no learning ability. Once parents are not around, the quality of homework will be greatly reduced. Due to the lack of consciousness and initiative, homework in a passive state is often forgotten and full of mistakes. In this way, parents will be more annoyed and their vigilance against their children will be doubled. Wrote a wrong word, copy the wrong question immediately pointed out, sometimes mixed with nagging and fists:
"What I just said, how did you do wrong again? Have you listened carefully? "
"I taught you this word yesterday. Why can't you write it?"
"Do your homework, don't look in all directions, can't you concentrate? ! "... criticism and slapping have merged into the" bad beating "song of" accompanying reading "in family education. We often say that the extremes meet, and the more parents pay attention to their children's learning, the more they supervise her every bit of mistakes, the more mistakes children make. Wen Qing becomes cautious every time he does his homework. Of course, parents should not be happy. Children's caution and vigilance are not used in learning, but how to prevent the troubles of accompanying readers. Nowadays, children are extremely smart, and Wen Qing is no exception, because you will definitely ask questions that you can't do, and you will definitely ask questions that you can't guarantee. Therefore, children's anti-violence means are:
"Mom, I can't do this problem. Tell me about it! "
"Mom, I forgot the word. Can I write pinyin? "
"Mom, am I right about this formula?"
"Mom, what does this word mean?"
"Mom, am I doing the right thing?"
…………
The child's patience and doubts kept his mother in the shallows, that is, she couldn't get into the water, couldn't get ashore, couldn't fight, and lacked reasons to scold. The effect of accompanying children is not good, and parents and children will not learn without accompanying them. A vicious circle, parents and children are getting deeper and deeper in the strange circle ... Although Wen Qing's mother found that family education is not enough and tried to save her children's grades through cram schools, Wen Qing has developed the idea of laziness. The more you can't keep up with the course, the more children lose interest in learning. In addition, most cram schools are taught in the same way as schools. Teachers talk above and students listen below. You can't effectively guide children from their psychological point of view, and you can't afford their desire and passion for independent learning. If we still accept passive indoctrination, the progress will of course be less obvious.
Generally, students like this are slow to adjust, especially when their grades drop to the end. Parents often have a sense of urgency and want their children to make progress as soon as possible, but the facts often backfire. Because the formation of children's study habits is a cumulative process, just like "the illness comes like a mountain, and the illness goes like reeling", the arrival of a serious illness had signs months or years ago, but we just ignored it. If there is a small gap in children's grades, their grades will improve quickly. Among many students I have taught, their grades have improved in a short time, so parents are eager to let their children return to school. After three or two months, the child was sent back, and the parents still looked helpless: "Teacher Wang, how did he change back to his original appearance?" Such students have poor anti-interference ability. A few days before Wen Qing came to see me, she seemed to be crawling there to write questions, but her brain and nerves habitually tried to hear any kind of noise, and her thinking and attention were instantly attracted. Once when she met a problem, she lowered her beautiful big eyes and looked idle and listless. To treat such a child, we must first narrow and reduce the scope of knowledge she has learned, and gradually find her passion for learning by cultivating her interest in learning. At the beginning, I was basically involved in the knowledge field of senior one, from a few questions to more than a dozen questions, and gradually I was able to complete a test paper independently and completely within the specified time. I can't do the problem quickly, so I don't need to think deeply for the time being, but I can put it down for the time being. Of course, the topics we choose are relatively simple. Basically, she can get about 90 points in the exam and exchange experiences every other week. This kind of Excellence should be greatly appreciated and praised. From a psychological point of view, it is easiest to form strong excitement in the child's cerebral cortex. This kind of excitement is based on self-confidence, self-reliance and self-improvement, and it is not easy to be disturbed by other excitement points. In order to show her honor and achievements, the child seems to be standing on the stage of performance. Every step and every movement, she has to play in detail, and her mind is attracted by knowledge. Generally, after a month or two, children will enter and maintain a learning state eager for fresh knowledge. At this time, the child is like a sponge, and he will acquire knowledge hungrily. This learning state is active, confident and gradual, and children will gradually establish a complete knowledge system and achieve real mastery, thus forming their own comprehensive learning ability. Eight months later, Wen Qing returned to school smoothly and his grades rose to the upper reaches. Now that a year has passed, Wen Qing's grades in the fourth grade have been very stable, and he has also become a class cadre.
In the social family where the only child is common at present, there are indeed many parents of primary school students, especially those of junior students, who often move a chair to sit next to their children when they are doing their homework, urging them not to be distracted and keep their posture from time to time. When children encounter problems that they can't do, parents will also stand up or explain directly to help them through the "difficulties." Parents hope that their efforts can help their children's study, but home
This behavior of the dragon is completely "thankless". Therefore, it is more important to cultivate children's curiosity than to teach them knowledge!