Hangzhou reader Xiao Ren asked: "My son is very careless. For example, he did a difficult problem right and a simple problem wrong in the exam. I reminded him to be careful, but it was useless. How can I help him get rid of this problem? "
Carelessness in learning is a common problem of primary school students. The parents talked about in this issue have successfully helped their children get rid of the bad habit of carelessness. Let's listen to their experiences.
Viewpoint: Time-based successful homework courseware
My daughter is the king of carelessness. The homework was written wrong, the homework was missed, the calculation symbols were wrong, and I forgot to do half the questions. I was very nervous. The trouble is that it's no use reminding her to be careful. According to my observation, the reason for her carelessness is the same as that of most children, and she is not attentive in class. For example, her mother stipulated that she should do 1 hour homework, and she would always look at the clock. If the cartoon is about to start, she will be even more absent-minded if you ask her to "play for another 20 minutes". It took her 20 minutes to write a line and made two mistakes. Once, I accidentally changed the condition of urging her to study to "five more questions to play" As a result, she did five questions with good quality and quantity, which only took 23 minutes. I found the trick to correct my daughter's carelessness in homework: changing time into quantity, that is, changing "doing another 25 minutes" into "doing six more questions". In this way, the child's strength comes, from the negative state of "having to endure 25 minutes" to the positive state of "finishing homework quickly". This positive state can help children concentrate and overcome carelessness unconsciously. (10-year-old girl's father Xu Lin)
Viewpoint 2: For children's carelessness, teaching methods are more important than correct attitudes.
My son is very careless and makes mistakes in his homework, and the exam is no exception. I checked all his homework before the final exam, and the result surprised me: at least 20% of the questions were wrong because of carelessness. This problem must be solved. I found my son doing the problem right in front, without hesitation, and I didn't expect to check it at all. He left all the inspection work to parents and teachers. When you find a mistake, he is willing to correct it, but he never takes the initiative to find it himself. So I asked him: 1. Slow down the operation speed; 2. You must check yourself; 3. The inspection method is to do an inspection, and then do the next one after it is confirmed. Soon, the son's carelessness was significantly reduced. I think I have successfully educated my children, because I think education is to solve problems. The problem is that children are careless in doing their homework, and teaching methods are more important than correct attitudes, because it is meaningless for parents to repeatedly tell their children to be careful and careless. (1 1 year-old boy mother Wang Yayi)
Viewpoint 3 uses "goal tendency" to correct the problem of sloppy work.
The son's carelessness always occurs when his favorite program conflicts with the prescribed homework time. At this time, even turning off the TV or reminding him repeatedly to be careful will not help, because his heart is not on his homework.
I thought of the psychological principle of "goal tendency": people should arrange happy rewards in front of their own efforts. "Goal tilt" shows that the curve of work and study will rise significantly before people get close to their goals. Using this principle, I set my son's homework time to 1 hour before he wants to watch the program broadcast, and the effect is very good. Even if there is more homework than usual, he can finish it with high quality. This is the "goal tendency" of "suffering before pleasure"; On the other hand, "target tilt" can also be "happy first, then bitter" For example, if a son has started watching TV and is forced to do his homework, he will definitely be absent-minded and make many mistakes. In the long run, he will develop a careless habit. Instead of this, it is better to adopt the "goal tendency" of "suffering first" and do his homework after watching TV. At this time, his mentality was stable and the quality of his homework was guaranteed. I see from the data that the newly emerging educational model of "play well and learn well" in the United States allows children to make their own plans for games and reading, which is the principle. It is reported that almost all the plans made by children are to play first and then do their homework. In this way, the phenomenon of careless homework has been greatly improved. (1 1 year-old boy mother Liu Ying)
Viewpoint 4 Children are careless and beware of homework fatigue.
Like many children, the first half of her homework is of good quality, and the second half is scrawled and misspelled. Most parents will say that their children are careless, which I think is caused by fatigue. Psychologically speaking, fatigue is a psychological state in which learning ability is weakened, efficiency is reduced and error rate is increased due to long-term continuous activities. If you can't recover from fatigue, it will be difficult to correct your carelessness. If you have a proper rest, fatigue can be relieved, the learning "engine" can be restarted, efficiency can be restored, and the problem of carelessness can be solved.
I always try my best to help my daughter relieve fatigue. Many parents are worried that their children will finally settle down to study, and it is not easy to recover after a break. So, send some snacks to let the children relax and even have a rest. As we all know, keeping a rest state like doing homework can't eliminate psychological tension. So, even if you take a 5-minute break, you should leave your desk and forget your homework. This can relieve psychological tension. Using this method, not only the problem of daughter's carelessness is solved, but also her eyesight is improved. (13-year-old girl mother Shen Jing)
Viewpoint 5 Don't care too much about children's carelessness, just change it.
Junior children, the knowledge structure has not yet formed, the mindset is not obvious, and the mistakes in homework are accidental and random. When parents see that the easy topics are all wrong, they simply boil down to carelessness, insufficient study, and even making a mountain out of a molehill and criticizing. I don't care much about my son's carelessness. If he makes a mistake, let him do it again.
I especially object to parents criticizing their children for being careless in their homework, especially in the lower grades, because children need to look at themselves through their parents' "eyes". Parents exaggerate the seriousness of mistakes and subjectively try to attract children's attention and overcome carelessness, but objectively, they can not only solve the problem of carelessness, but also seriously strengthen children's guilt, panic and fear, thus forming a negative mentality of self-denial.
In my opinion, it is the most direct psychological reaction and the strongest learning motivation for children to make mistakes in their homework. Psychological science research and educational practice show that it is best to correct mistakes in time. Carelessness is a common problem of junior children. Parents don't have to care too much. Teaching children how to reflect on themselves and correct their mistakes is fundamental. Because the process of correcting children's mistakes is also the process of exploring success. With their physical and mental development, the problem of carelessness can be overcome. (7-year-old boy and mother Jin Xiaohua)
Viewpoint 6 solves the problem by eliminating the root cause of carelessness
I got 59 points in the math exam. My daughter cried a lot and analyzed the reasons. Due to carelessness, half of the scores were lost. Unfortunately, carelessness has greatly reduced your grades. I asked my daughter, "When you lamented your carelessness, did you ever wonder why you were so careless?" Seeing my daughter's curious expression, I helped her analyze it. First, carelessness is related to poor knowledge. What is 2+3? It's not wrong to answer casually, but the first-grade child may be wrong because he hasn't formed an automatic reaction yet. Therefore, if you master the basic knowledge and can deal with it automatically, your carelessness will be greatly reduced. Secondly, carelessness is related to habit. For example, if you are used to carelessness in your homework, you will involuntarily make old mistakes during the exam. Therefore, put an end to carelessness at ordinary times to avoid losing points in the exam. Third, carelessness is related to personality. Your careless personality has a lovely side, but carelessness in doing things is reflected in your study, which is easy to increase mistakes.
Integrating theory with practice, I arranged for her to do something that needed patience (boring and simple work, etc.). ); Urge her to improve the quality of her usual homework. In addition, she also learned the skills to prevent carelessness, such as writing a reminder on the table; When reviewing, use reverse substitution method to test; Make up a set of wrong questions and know where you are prone to make mistakes, so as to prevent and focus on inspection. (13-year-old girl's father Li Ling)
How to treat a child who is muddling along?
Zhu chi Hu Yan
Xu, a reader in Zhengzhou, asked: "My child is 7 years old and can take care of himself, but everything is slow. You are in no hurry. According to the teacher, he is also slower than others in doing homework at school. How to correct it? "
Many children in life love to fool around, which brings inconvenience to themselves and their parents, and also delays and affects their normal study and life. How to correct this bad habit of children? Let's listen to the parents' representatives.
Viewpoint 1 excludes irrelevant incentives and allows children to concentrate on their work.
Before going to school, my daughter also dawdles, because she is not focused and is easily attracted by irrelevant things. For example, when a bird flies by the window while eating, she will put down her rice bowl and see what happens; When I was drawing, I suddenly heard the voice on TV, so I would leave the half-finished picture to watch TV, and I would linger on the half-finished picture, refusing to draw it at once, and other things were the same. Therefore, daughters often work in the "front line" for a long time, and the effect is not necessarily good. In view of her bad habits, I discussed with her mother that when she was doing things, she should try to keep a quiet environment, eliminate factors unrelated to the events at that time, let the children concentrate on what they were doing, speed up the pace, ensure the quality, and gradually develop a good habit of neatness. (9-year-old girl father Zhang Jian)
Viewpoint 2: Strengthen the concept of time and cultivate children's ability to grasp time.
Children's procrastination is related to their lack of time concept. As the saying goes, the daughter is the kind of person who "has to go back to divide men and women". She is a typical child with no sense of time. Because of procrastination, I am often late for school, and it is common for me to be criticized by my teacher. I was very upset, so I made up my mind to help her correct it. First of all, I helped her understand the bad consequences of procrastination for herself and her parents. She accepted the suggestion and expressed her willingness to correct it. Then, my child and I made a mutual supervision plan, let her supervise whether I dawdle, and my father will be the referee, record the results and report in time. We made a life schedule together, recording the time spent dressing, washing, eating and so on every morning, and seeing if there is any progress after a while (I often let her win in order to keep her enthusiasm). My daughter was happy with her progress, and she took the initiative to speed up her work and strengthen her sense of time. Now she can adjust the speed of doing things according to the time, and with the ability to grasp the time reasonably, the phenomenon of being late is almost extinct. Seeing my daughter's progress, I also sincerely feel the joy of educational success. (8-year-old girl mother Huang Limei)
Viewpoint 3 stimulates children's competitive psychology, improves children's sensitivity and changes the status quo of fooling around.
The pace of life is accelerating day by day, but for children, they have not been exposed to society, so naturally they will not feel nervous. However, if children want to grow up, a procrastinator can't stand in a competitive society. In this regard, it is fundamental to cultivate children to take the initiative to grasp reality and wisdom from an early age. The specific measures are: appropriately increase the tension of life, inspire and induce children's competitive psychology, improve children's sensitivity, and change the status quo of muddling along.
Since my son went to kindergarten, I have consciously induced his competitive psychology, making him often compete with his friends: faster, braver, more careful and so on. Let children gradually realize their abilities in the competition and develop their thinking and action abilities of capturing information and responding sensitively. At home, we often have beneficial parent-child competitions, and through the alternation of winning and losing, we can exercise our children's minds and improve their sensitivity. Now my son has adapted to this rhythm and habit, and there is little procrastination. I think it is also very important to form an independent spirit to appropriately increase the tension of life for children's future growth. (13-year-old boy father Chen Min)
Combine the four viewpoints and let the children undergo the necessary exercise.
In the it family, the daughter has enjoyed "full service" since she was a child, which has caused excessive dependence on adults. Once she is left to do things alone, her limbs are weak and her hands and feet are ineffective. Everything is just muddling along, waiting for you to "lend a helping hand". We also tried to make her change the habit of fooling around by cultivating her self-care ability, but to no avail. For example: dressing in winter, afraid that she will catch cold, grandma quickly came to help; Eating too slowly, grandpa was afraid of starving her, so he made an exception and fed her. In this way, "do your own thing" has become an empty talk. After going to school, the problem was immediately exposed: at school, she was slower than her classmates in everything, eating slowly, doing homework slowly, and even failing to finish exams and tests on time. This made me determined that she should never do too much for herself. This is the process of "letting go" and letting her exercise her talents in the process of doing it. At the same time, we are also determined to "control". If we don't finish eating within the specified time, we must resolutely clear the table and ask her to hurry up when eating next time. When children encounter difficulties in doing things, they are not in a hurry to help, but only give necessary guidance. We have also done a good job in the ideological work of grandparents, combining management with release, so that children can take necessary exercise and get rid of the shadow of muddling along as soon as possible. (9-year-old girl mother Hu Ping)