Lai and his wife grew up in a free-range family, mainly because their parents rushed for a living and had no time to take care of their children. Lai couples also reject the management of high-pressure parents, so fortunately, they have to let their children "grow wildly." Eat if you want, play if you want, and don't read if you don't like reading. At most, it is the problem of controlling children's picky eaters. In a blink of an eye, in junior high school, children's academic performance is not too bad because of their free-range growth. They are very active and active, but they have no self-control, which makes the teacher very headache. More than once, the teacher emphasized to Lai and his wife that as long as the children are more in charge and let them spend more time on their studies, their grades may be higher. But children are used to freedom and laziness, and they can't get used to it now.

In fact, it is not a big problem to manage parents through stocking, because not every child can withstand high-pressure management. And stocking management, sometimes children may understand their parents' love better. But sometimes stocking management can make children develop many bad habits, such as poor self-control, laziness and lack of self-management ability. This will have a far-reaching impact on children's future study and work.

First, parents who call themselves "Buddhists" just don't want to be responsible.

1. "Buddhist" parents give their children excessive freedom to facilitate themselves.

Managing children is a matter that takes a lot of time and energy. Parents often struggle to manage their children, and often give up many of their own needs when they are single-minded about their children. If it is for the sake of the children themselves, and the children are really suitable for slack management, that is of course the best. But just because they don't want to take up their own time to manage their children, it is selfish to call them "Buddhist" parents.

2. "Buddhist" parents are too far away from their children, which leads to the lack of emotion in their children.

Most parents take a free-range approach to their children, in many cases because they don't have time. Naturally, there is no child to accompany you. Especially when children are young, they need parents' company very much. If they lack the company of their parents, they will be emotionally lacking. Nothing can make up for this. Moreover, when children grow up, parents will not know how to communicate with them, which is more likely to cause misunderstanding between children and parents.

3. "Buddhist" parents are too afraid of failure and ignore the pressure of their children.

Some parents are not strict with their children because they are afraid of high-pressure management. Because maybe their parents were strict with them when they were young. But in the end, they didn't become their ideal successful people, and blamed this failure on high-pressure management. I feel that learning in another way can also be successful. But they ignore whether their children are really suitable.

Under this "irresponsible" reason, parents adopt a stocking-style discipline to let their children "grow wildly", so that many embarrassing situations will happen to their children.

Second, the disadvantages of conniving at children's "barbaric growth"

1. Lack of education and rules.

The most obvious example of free-range children is Xiong Haizi, and no one can manage it well. These children are not undisciplined, but parents take care of their children in the way of "you are happy", thinking that the whole world should meet the requirements of their children. In the eyes of such parents, there are no rules, no interruptions and no morality. Everything must make way for the children. In this kind of atmosphere and thinking habits, children will become more and more self-centered and easily go astray.

2. No self-control and self-control.

The first requirement for many parents to manage their children is to establish rules and ask their children to do it in strict accordance with their arranged life and study habits. Because once a good habit is cultivated from an early age, it will benefit for life. When parents have no time to manage or advocate free-range education, children may lack opportunities to form good habits from an early age, and these opportunities are hard to make up. Good habits are hard to form. Even if parents want to help their children develop good habits when they grow up, children who have developed lazy habits are hard to adapt to, and may even reject their parents in their hearts.

3. I feel that my parents don't value themselves.

Sometimes parents' management of their children is also a way to communicate and connect feelings. Recently, there is a buzzword "My mother hasn't hit me for three days". Although it is a funny statement, children rely heavily on their parents to contact the discipline of their daily lives, and they also think it is a way for parents to express their love. Without such communication, children may also lack ways to feel the love of their parents.

There are disadvantages, and there are advantages. In fact, barbaric growth sometimes makes children have many excellent places, which is very important for their future.

Third, what are the advantages of "barbaric growth" children?

1. will have an independent personality earlier.

The biggest advantage of free-range children is that they are good at doing their own things. For anything they can't understand or solve, they will think for themselves first and come up with a solution. There's nothing they can do. They may ask someone else for help. In this way, children will have an independent personality very early when they grow up and will not be easily affected. When you need to be independent as an adult, you will adapt quickly.

I will be more confident and brave to create my own future.

Children under strict management are often strictly managed and even punished by their parents because of some small mistakes, which may lead to premature loss of independent thinking and extroverted courage. Just live within the framework arranged by your parents. From elementary school to college to work. Their bodies are branded with their parents' shadows. But for free-range children, their framework needs to be completed by themselves, more by themselves. Facing the future, I am also more confident and confident. Because they always do it on their own.

3. Parents may be more like friends.

Because they have not been disciplined by high pressure, they may not be so afraid of their parents. If there is no other objective influence, such children and parents can easily become friends. Children will not hesitate to share their little secrets of growing up with their parents, and will tell their parents all kinds of secret plans, hoping to get their parents' advice without worrying about being denied and overthrown by their parents. Such parents may enter their children's growth period earlier than other strict parents, and are more understanding and considerate of their children.

In fact, whether it is "free-range" love or "high-pressure" care, it is just a way for parents to love their children, and more depends on which kind of children are more suitable. In order to give children a better life, parents should even learn to integrate these two ways. Of course, parents should also understand that there is no perfect child in the world. Only by understanding and supporting each other with their children can we be perfect families.