What do you say when the child asks where the dead grandmother went? Maybe you never thought about letting children face this fact, but too many examples tell us that letting children receive correct death education from an early age can not only help them treat life and death correctly, but also improve their quality of life by doing more meaningful things, which can also effectively reduce the mortality rate of minors.
In the United States, "death education" as an independent course has been widely implemented in primary and secondary schools and kindergartens all over the country. In family education, American parents will honestly give their children the simplest and clearest answer to their death questions, and try to avoid specious or vague answers. Let children establish a scientific world outlook from an early age. Please don't miss the important link of "death education".
Children, know death correctly.
A boy named Timmy died of brain cancer in kindergarten. Does it mean that Timmy has transferred to another school or left the city, so that the children can quietly forget Timmy's disappearance, or tell the children the unfortunate fact?
Danielle, an American teacher, chose to let the children sit next to her and gently told them: "The brain tumor stopped Timmy's brain and body from working. So Timmy died. "
Later, when she distributed school supplies or organized children's games, there were always children who said, "Teacher, you forgot Timmy's share." She always replied, "Is Timmy still there? Can he come back? " The children finally know that Timmy is dead and will never come back.
Before she died, Danielle wanted to move Timmy's small desk, and finally organized children to discuss how to use Timmy's desk. So the children moved Timmy's desk to the corner of the activity room and put his favorite dinosaur toys and dinosaur-related books on it. And wrote on the title page of each book: "For Timmy, we especially like dinosaur friends."
This made the children understand that Timmy was dead and would never come back. Everyone is sad, but Timmy's days with everyone will never be forgotten.
Danielle's practice represents two basic goals of "death education" for children in the United States: one is to face the facts of death frankly and correctly understand death; The second is to regard it as part of emotional education at the same time.
Necessary emotional education
Another ordinary American elementary school teacher found that after the death of the rabbit "Ross" fed by the whole class, the children were very sad and had great mood swings.
So the teacher immediately planned to cooperate with parents to carry out an emotional education class on death to help children through the grief of losing their "partners". She wrote a short message to each parent to explain the situation and told them: "The death of' Ross' made the children very sad, which may remind them of the death of their favorite person or pet. After the meeting tomorrow, we will invite the children to a seminar. Let's make a commemorative album about' Rose' to recall the good times with' Rose' and express our thoughts on it. In addition, in recent days, some children may often mention' roses', and some children may become silent. Please be considerate of your child's emotional performance. "
This ordinary American elementary school teacher, through this emotional education activity and the emotional education assistance of parents at home, made the children realize the emotional experience of treating death correctly, which is conducive to establishing their healthy attitude towards life.
Such examples are not uncommon in the United States. Most primary and secondary schools will also invite professional funeral personnel or ICU nurses to teach a unique "death class". "Invited experts" will discuss the real scene of a person's death with children, so that children can simulate the scene of a loved one's death in a car accident, correctly handle the grief, or experience the desolation of suddenly becoming an orphan.
The other is that under the guidance of teachers or parents, children come to places where terminally ill patients are provided with hospice services and pay deep respect to those who are about to die. They spread petals on the dying man's bed, bravely hold the hand of the dying old man or patient, send them blessings, and watch them die with a smile in the overflow of love.
An indispensable characteristic teaching material
One day, Mr. Asmo, a child psychologist in Montana, brought a children's literature work "burris the Pirate" to the children in the literature reading class. This story is about a pirate named burris. He and his fellow pirates are strong, greedy and bold. Suddenly one day, one of their parrots died, and burris and all the pirates cried.
As Mo Wen said: "Classmates, everyone always thinks that pirates are inhuman, and the life of pirates must be thrilling, but why does the story end with pirates sympathizing with the death of birds?"
Death is a natural law that everyone has to face and can never avoid. Asmo believes that burris the Pirate, a children's literature, can explain to children that "death is inevitable" and "life is very important to anyone" in a broader sense.
In this class, Asmo and the students discussed the connection between piracy and death, the fragility and preciousness of life and so on. The original cold topic of death gradually filled with a warm atmosphere, and the children showed their understanding and sympathy for death, which made this class receive very good results.
In fact, the death education curriculum in most American schools is inseparable from the wonderful characteristic teaching materials. Textbooks usually use vivid and interesting stories, humorous cartoons and other forms of literary expression to fully attract children's attention and improve the educational effect, serving both school education and family education.
Defend children with suicide defense
In some school districts in the United States, special attention is paid to setting up "suicide prevention courses", an independent discipline of death education. The main teaching goal of "Suicide Prevention Course" is to educate children to cherish life and reduce the local suicide rate.
Suicide prevention courses usually last 1~7 weeks. Teachers should introduce students to the statistics of the number of suicides in various parts of the United States, help students understand some characteristics before suicide, and tell them to tell adults in time when their friends or themselves are in a bad state.
In the "Suicide Prevention Course" at Lincoln Middle School in California, the teacher will also ask the students to write a letter to convince a friend who has suicidal thoughts, so as to strengthen the children's sense of participation in reality.
California has the highest suicide rate in the United States. However, since 1980 launched the "suicide prevention course", the suicide rate in California 1994 is 39% lower than that in 1970.
While preventing suicide, the course also provides a link to actively explore the meaning of life, and advocates primary and secondary school students to cherish life and improve their quality of life at any time. For example, primary and secondary schools in the United States, whether social studies teachers or literature teachers, often remind children with similar questions: "If your life is only three days, what will you do?" What do you want to do most? "
Letting children receive "death education" from an early age is equivalent to letting them really understand the end and existence of life, and they will certainly have a deeper thinking about the meaning of life and understand the importance of today, so as to continuously improve their quality of life.
Tips How do parents in China carry out death education?
1. To learn how to guide children better, you can collect some information about "death education", such as reading the book "Talking about death: parent-child dialogue";
2. When telling children about the content of death, teaching methods or solutions will directly affect children's cognition of death. Therefore, it is necessary to conform to the scientific and reasonable principles recognized by the public and avoid using fairy tales or half-truths to explain death;
3. While guiding children to face the reality and face up to death, we should also know their thoughts in time to ensure their mental health. You should be not only a teacher, but also a good listener.
4. The discussion of some death problems may cause strong reactions to what they are experiencing or have experienced. Parents should estimate their children's emotional reaction and think about countermeasures before discussing;
Children's growth experiences are different, and their physical, psychological and social development is also different. Parents can educate according to different situations. If it is too light, it will not achieve the effect; Too heavy will leave a shadow.