1 Preschool (0-2) Trust vs Doubt (0- 1.5)
The main task of this period is to meet physiological needs, develop trust and overcome distrust. Whether babies are cared for by love, whether their needs are met and whether their crying is taken seriously is the first turning point in life development. Children who need to be satisfied will have basic trust, which means trust in others and trust in themselves. For those children who get proper attention, the world is beautiful and people are full of love, which is acceptable. However, some babies will never get the love and care they need, which makes them have a basic distrust. These children will alienate and retreat from others, and they will never trust themselves or others for life. If children are well raised and have a good parent-child relationship with their parents, they will have a sense of trust in the world around them, otherwise they will have doubts and anxiety. Babies must learn to trust others to take care of their basic needs. This is a period of psychological conflict between basic trust and distrust, because during this period, children begin to know people. When children are crying or hungry, whether parents appear or not is an important issue to build trust. Trust forms the quality of hope in personality and plays a role in strengthening self. A trusted child dares to hope, is full of ideals and has a strong future orientation. On the other hand, I dare not expect it, and I am always worried that my needs will not be met. Erickson defines hope as: persistent belief in the realization of one's wishes, resisting the roar of the dark forces, and marking the birth of life. Babies may think that the world is dangerous and the people here are not trustworthy or reliable. The main social motivation is caregivers.
Reference case:
After Ms. Xue became a new mother, her mother-in-law came to wait on the confinement and take care of her little grandson. My mother-in-law comes from the countryside. She is in good health and very capable. At first, she got along well with her daughter-in-law However, after half a month, Ms. Xue's milk is very small, not enough for children to eat, and milk powder needs to be added. It doesn't matter during the day. At night, after a tiring day, people fall asleep in a daze. The child is hungry in the middle of the night and needs to be suckled. My mother-in-law feels that she is too old to get up and warm her milk. Ms. Xue is weak and cannot adapt to getting up in the middle of the night to "work". Therefore, in the face of the child's crying, sometimes both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are stunned and unwilling to get up and breastfeed their children. They began to tacitly shirk and blame each other.
One day at noon, when her mother-in-law coaxed her baby to play, she said a few words intentionally or unintentionally, which made Ms. Xue very uncomfortable. The mother-in-law said to the child, "Look at your mother, she doesn't even have milk. What kind of mother is she? When grandma was young, she ate more milk than your father! " "Sometimes, my mother-in-law will breast-feed her baby and say to her baby," My little grandson is so miserable that he can't even eat milk! "Although her mother-in-law is telling the truth, Ms. Xue still has a needle-like heartache: how can she be so incompetent? Mocked by her mother-in-law, Ms. Xue, who has always been strong, has to admit defeat, but sometimes she feels inexplicably annoyed with her mother-in-law, children and even her husband.
More importantly, the baby is a bad-tempered child who loves to cry. He didn't sleep long during the day and cried when he woke up. At night, he is a "night owl", which makes adults exhausted. Every time the baby cries, the mother-in-law often waits for the other party to respond first. At this time, the baby will cry more and more. Sometimes, Ms. Xue is so angry that she shouts at the baby: "What are you crying for? Tired of it! " The baby seemed to understand his mother's resentment and cried even louder.
When the baby was two months old, he was diagnosed with bilateral inguinal hernia, and other aspects of development were also a little troublesome, such as slow adaptation to strange environment. Ms. Xue is very anxious and feels that her baby is simply "obedient children can't teach."
The psychological infighting between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law like Ms. Xue exists in many families. This kind of "competition" will inevitably be reflected in the attitude and behavior of raising a baby, which will have a negative impact on the baby's physical and mental health.
2 Late infancy (2-4) Self-directed shyness (1.5-3)
After one year old, children will actively form a sense of connection with the outside world. They want to know, what can I do, what can I control outside? What controls me from the outside? At this age, they often try the scope and size of their abilities. Children who have formed autonomy feel independent, they are good at self-expression and full of self-confidence, and the excessive protection of parents will hinder the development of autonomy of children at this age. If children are not allowed to explore and cannot gain a sense of personal control and influence on the outside world, they will feel shy and suspicious. Children who cover their faces with their hands when adults introduce themselves are children who lack autonomy.
At this stage, children have the need and tendency of self-control and long for autonomy. Apart from developing proper habits of defecation and self-care, he is not satisfied with staying in a narrow space, but is eager to explore a new world. Children can better control their muscles, muscles can walk on their own, and they can control the outside world at first. They like to do everything by themselves instead of being interfered by others. Children must learn to be "independent"-eat, dress, pay attention to hygiene and so on. If this self-reliance cannot be realized, it may make children doubt their abilities and feel ashamed. The main social motivation is parents. Characteristics of modern parents: too much intervention.
Reference case:
Chen Xiaoyu likes to cling to his mother since he was a child. Whether it's defecation, eating, walking, dressing and bathing, you can't do without your mother. You have to let her do it for him. Although the mother is a little tired, she feels very happy to see the child so close to her. But when the child is older, other children will dress themselves, but he won't. Kindergarten teachers always complain to their parents about this. Once he ate an egg, and he didn't know how to do it, because his mother peeled the shell and sent it to his mouth. Seeing that the child has no autonomy, the mother is also very anxious. She was worried that this would affect the healthy development of her children and had to consult a psychologist.
Cause analysis:
Today's children are regarded as the apple of their eyes by their parents, grandparents and grandparents. They grew up under heavy care, and it is natural to spoil them. They do everything for food, clothing, housing and transportation, forming a bad habit of over-dependence. This will not only make children lose their autonomy, but also make their self-care ability poor when they grow up. The sense of self-control that most children have at this stage is the beginning of free will. Children with strong autonomy will be willing to control their own destiny in later life, and self-confidence can make them challenge hardships. On the contrary, shy and suspicious children are always followers. Their strong dependence, lack of determination and lack of sufficient confidence in their own abilities are all necessary conditions for survival in the fierce competition.
3 initiative and guilt in early childhood (4-7 years old) (3-6 years old, 7 years old)
At this stage, children's activities gradually surpass their families and begin to want to act according to their own wishes. At this time, if adults interfere too much, children will lack attempt and initiative. Eriksson believes that the future work and economic achievements that an individual can achieve in society are related to the degree of children's active development at this stage. Children try to do things like adults and try to take on responsibilities beyond their ability. They sometimes take goals or activities that conflict with their parents or other family members, and these conflicts may make them feel guilty. Successfully solving these crises requires a balance: children keep this initiative, but learn not to infringe on the rights, interests and goals of others. The main social motivation is family. Successfully forming initiative is the key to generating ambition and sense of purpose. With the development of children's initiative, with the development of children's initiative, they realize the happiness of completing a task. Otherwise, they will feel guilty, lack initiative and always rely on others. This initiative is the key to guide children to succeed in the future. In this period, if children are encouraged to take the initiative to explore, they will form initiative and lay the foundation for him to become a responsible and creative person in the future. If adults laugh at children's original behavior and imagination, then children will gradually lose self-confidence, tend to live in a narrow circle arranged by others, and lack the initiative to create a happy life.
Reference case:
A completely different crystal.
Jingjing is three and a half years old. She goes to kindergarten at the age of two, but she is lively and cheerful at home. When she arrived in kindergarten, she was like a different person: she always wrapped herself up, didn't get close to anyone, didn't talk or laugh, just looked at everything around her with a straight face; When the teacher asked questions, she answered in a low voice, only she could hear. While the other children were doing exercises, she stood there motionless. ...
Jingjing mama de early education
Telling stories, early literacy, cultivating English language sense, getting in touch with nature, saying what you see ... As long as it is parenting information that can be used for reference, she tries her best. Her only hope is to let the children win at the starting line. In order to seize every precious minute and put more things into the child's little head, Jingjing seldom takes her children to visit because she always thinks it is a waste of time. During other children's visits, she often takes Jingjing to sing, draw, listen to English songs and type literacy cards. Jingjing's mother has never done beauty treatment or bought anything since she had a child. She devoted all her time to her children. To her delight, Jingjing became smart and lovely under her education. She can not only say nursery rhymes and recite ancient poems, but also read more than 500 words. Occasionally, she can speak a few simple English short sentences, and can also accurately say various shapes, common colors and numbers within 100.
Jingjing's mother's reflection
As the children grew up day by day, Jingjing's mother began to find that Jingjing was different from other children: other children showed joy and excitement when they saw children of the same age, but Jingjing had no concept of interacting with people at all, let alone how to interact with people. When Jingjing's mother takes Jingjing for a walk after supper, she always holds her mother's hand and never plays with other children. Whenever she meets a neighbor or acquaintance, Jingjing always hides behind her mother and drags her away anxiously, no matter how her mother asks her to say hello.
Jingjing's mother began to reflect on her education. She feels that she only cares about developing children's intelligence and tapping their potential, but forgets that children are people in society after all. A person without communication skills, no matter how high the quality, is useless! In the past two years, Jingjing has been in contact with her relatives in addition to her parents. Jingjing's mother felt the seriousness of the problem and thought of the best way to let her children live a collective life and send her to kindergarten. Jingjing's mother immediately went online to inquire about the information of her children entering the park. She saw that as long as children can express themselves and have certain self-care ability, they can send their children to kindergarten. As Jingjing has achieved the above ability, Jingjing's mother decided to send Jingjing to kindergarten.
Jingjing's performance in kindergarten
Since public kindergartens only recruit children over 3 years old, Jingjing finally chose a private kindergarten that is good in all aspects in order to let the children get exercise in the kindergarten early. Jingjing's small class has a total of 20 children, all aged around 3 or 4, of whom only 4 are girls. Because there are more boys and more naughty, and Jingjing is the youngest, so boys like to play around her. Jingjing, who had never been in contact with strangers, suddenly met so many people and lived in fear all day. Seeing that other children can finish the rice in the bowl quickly, and they always eat everywhere, makes Jingjing feel very anxious. After returning home, Jingjing often said over and over again while playing with toys, "I'm afraid I won't go to kindergarten." Sometimes I wake up crying at night. But Jingjing's performance didn't worry her mother. This situation soon ended, not because Jingjing adapted to the environment, but because she had learned to be a "two-faced person". In kindergarten, in the face of those naughty children, Jingjing was afraid to the extreme, so she chose to escape to protect herself. She never talks to any children, and she doesn't dare to take part in interesting activities in kindergarten, because she can't run fast, can't jump high and can't talk as fast as other children. In private kindergartens, Jingjing's situation has not been taken seriously by teachers. As soon as she got home, Jingjing soon forgot the kindergarten, changed her role and became lively and fond of laughing. At this time, my mother found a new problem: Jingjing had never been in contact with children before, but now she is afraid to see children of her age and even cry.
When Jingjing was 3 years old, her mother transferred her to a public kindergarten. Kindergarten teachers communicate with parents about their children once a month. In the communication, Jingjing's mother learned that Jingjing is smart and has a strong memory among children of the same age, but Jingjing is careful in everything and moves as slowly as a disassembled lens on TV. She showed no desire, could not see the lively appearance of her peers, and never dared to take the initiative to talk to the teacher. Jingjing's mother was taken aback. She suddenly felt that she had exhausted her early potential development, but why did she make her child like this? How should Jingjing step into society in the future? Don't let children "isolate".
One-sided early intelligence development and comprehensive quality education and training
In Jingjing's case, Jingjing's mother unilaterally emphasized the early intellectual development of her children before entering the park, thus ignoring the cultivation of Jingjing's all-round quality education, paying attention to one thing and losing another, so that Jingjing grew up in an isolated environment. Jingjing's mother strongly added her own ideas to her children when she realized that they had no communication skills. Jingjing didn't have a gradual process, so she sent her children to kindergarten to "learn" the skills of getting along with others. Because Jingjing was only 2 years old when she entered the park, all the children in her class in the kindergarten were Dajingjing at least 1~2 years old, so Jingjing was very different from these brothers and sisters in physical strength, mind and ability. When frustrated again and again, she not only didn't learn any ways to get along with others, but killed all her self-confidence and happiness in the kindergarten interaction.
4 Childhood (7- 12) Diligence vs Inferiority (6,7-12)
Children think that there is nothing they can't do, but before long, they begin to compete with other children, and it is inevitable that they will meet with success or failure. If they experience success, their sense of competition will continue to increase, which will lay the foundation for their future initiative. If you fail, you will experience a sense of incompetence and have low expectations for your future life. This period formed a sense of diligence and trust in their own strength and ability. At this stage, children begin to enter school, hoping to succeed through their diligent activities. This stage belongs to school age, and the focus of children's dependence has shifted from family to the outside world. Many people's attitudes towards future study and work can be traced back to their sense of diligence at this stage. Children must master important social and learning skills. Children at this stage often compare themselves with their peers. If you are diligent, children will acquire social and learning skills and feel confident. Failure to acquire these skills will make children feel inferior. The main social motivations are teachers and peers. Children at this stage should be educated at school, which is the place to train children to adapt to society and master the knowledge and skills necessary for future life. If they can successfully complete the study course, they will gain a sense of diligence, which will make them confident in their future independent life and undertaking work tasks. On the contrary, you will feel inferior. In addition, if children develop an attitude of attaching too much importance to work and neglecting other aspects, this kind of person's life is sad. Eriksson said: If he regards work as his only task and what he does as the only value standard, then he may become the most tame and reckless slave of his work skills and bosses.
5 Puberty (12- 18) Role Identity and Role Confusion (12- 18)
If the answer of "Who am I" is successful, their sense of self-identity will be established, and they will understand who they are, accept and appreciate themselves. Affect future career choices.
Teenagers at this stage pay more attention to the question of "who am I" and experience the conflict between identity and confusion. If individuals integrate their own aspects, such as beliefs, personalities, gender roles, future career choices, etc., they will gain better recognition, otherwise they will be confused. Research shows that the establishment of role identity can be divided into four types. The first is to gain role recognition. The second is refusal, that is, the individual does not fully consider the possibility of the future, but gives this choice to parents or others; The third is the confusion of identity, and there is no conclusion about their social role and future life goals. The last one is identity delay. This stage is an important turning point for childhood to mature. Teenagers think repeatedly, "Who am I?" . They must establish basic social and professional identities, otherwise they will be confused about their adult roles. The main social motivation is peers in the community. On the one hand, the upsurge of teenagers' instinctive impulse will bring problems, on the other hand, it is more important that teenagers are troubled and confused when facing new social requirements and social conflicts. Therefore, the main task of adolescence is to establish a new sense of identity or image in the eyes of others and his emotional status in the social collective. The crisis at this stage is role confusion.
This sense of unity is also a growing self-confidence, an internal continuity, and a sense of identity (a person's psychological self) formed in the past experience. If this self-awareness is commensurate with how you feel in other people's minds, it will obviously add gorgeous colors to your career.
Eriksson used the identity crisis theory to explain the social problems of teenagers, such as social dissatisfaction and crime. He said: If a child feels that his environment deprives him of all possibilities of self-identity in future development, he will resist the social environment with amazing strength. In the jungle of human society, if there is no sense of identity, there is no existence of its own. Therefore, he would rather be a bad person or live like a dead man than be a nondescript person. He chose all this freely.
6 Early adulthood (18-25) Love, intimacy and loneliness (18-25)
If you develop smoothly and find a satisfactory spouse, you will experience intimacy. If you have not found a suitable spouse for some reason, you will experience a kind of loneliness. The main task of this stage is to form close friendship with others and establish love or partnership (or common recognition). Without close friendship, children will feel lonely or isolated. The main social motivation is lover, spouse or close friend (same sex or opposite sex).
7. The reproductive pairing of middle-aged adults (25-50) is stagnant (25-60)
At this time, men and women got married and their interests expanded to the next generation. Reproduction not only refers to individual fertility, but also needs to care for the establishment and guidance of the next generation. At this stage, the main task facing adults is reproduction. They must bear the responsibility of working, taking care of their families and raising their children. The standard of "reproduction" is defined by culture. Unable or unwilling to take this responsibility, it will become stagnant or self-centered. The main social motivations are spouse, children and cultural norms.
8 Late adulthood (post-50 s) perfect, regretless and pessimistic (post-60 s)
If you feel that your life is full and not wasted, you will have a sense of perfection and think that your life cycle is integrated with the life cycle of the new generation. If we can't reach this feeling, we will involuntarily fear death, feel that life is too short, and feel bored and disappointed with life. Looking back on life, the old man thinks that there are both significance, success, happiness and disappointment, and that he has not fulfilled his promise and achieved his goal. Individual life experience, especially social experience, determines the final outcome of life crisis.