I learned this from my friends. The biggest feature of her children since childhood is that they love to cry. When he cried, he couldn't stop the car until he choked. The child is still like this when he is three years old. Then learn something and accept a beat slower than other children. Other children can write numbers and English letters, but friends and children can't read them yet. My friend's husband is very worried about whether the child is mentally retarded or slow to develop.
Whenever a friend's husband is in a hurry and doesn't know what to do, his friend looks calm. She said: "Children should be patient when they grow up. I don't think children are' problem' children, but it takes time. "
Indeed, it turns out that after that time, children really began to change. Therefore, no matter how your child is now, you must control your anxious feelings and let the child find the right direction by himself. The more "extraordinary times" there are, the more we should control ourselves not to evaluate children's performance, not to help children do what they can, and not to worry too much about being spoiled. As long as you are willing to let go and rest assured, children will always find their own way of growth. What we need to do most is to have enough patience and courage to believe that children can survive that "extraordinary period".
Nowadays, school stores have changed, especially in cities. Children have to pass your exams to enter, and they have to meet certain standards. Therefore, the present environment has made children feel invisible pressure, so our parents should try not to add pressure to their children. Children are very sensitive to emotions, so sometimes parents need to really relax to avoid infecting their children with anxiety.
In fact, we can recall our childhood growth. Maybe most of us live in the mountains. After school, we can discover nature everywhere and spend a lot of time enjoying the fun of playing and creating at will. Now, we sometimes take a long-term view and worry that children don't know computer skills, all kinds of piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and that their learning methods can't keep up with their learning progress. ...
In fact, children have never been exposed to learning things very early since childhood, and they may not suffer or learn in the future. These are just tools. When children are really enjoying and learning, when they face these things again, they will learn to accept them faster.
Therefore, I never evaluate children with report cards, and I don't think those figures are the most real learning ability of children. I hope he can live like a child, study happily, play happily and feel the world with his senses happily. Make children more like children!
Children face many choices since childhood, how to choose their future major and direction, school, future career, and what kind of partner to choose in the future ... If children don't have the principles and methods of their own choice, then many choices are not a kind of freedom for children, but a kind of torture.
For example, when children face a problem, they should first ask their opinions and ideas, and then list them according to their choices. Choose a and choose b, the advantages and disadvantages of each choice, or the changes in those circumstances, and the responsibilities that need to be borne by the choice. Give children more opportunities to make their own choices, let them feel your trust in him and become a person who can make choices and judgments.
Instead of making decisions for children, it is better to teach them how to make decisions. If you can give your child the space to choose, he will grow up and enter adolescence in time, and the distance from his parents will not get farther and farther; At that time, if parents did everything for their children, it would make them farther and farther away from you, and it would be difficult to eliminate this distance in the future.
1. Parents should have a common goal: to make their children happy, not themselves.
Parents should have clear goals, and the focus of education is to make their children grow up healthily and happily, instead of making them "become dragons and phoenixes." "Looking forward to your son's success" and "Looking forward to your daughter's success" are traditional education in China. Parents want their children to achieve proud results and surpass their own achievements. But the question is, if the purpose of your "success" is to get your child into a prestigious school and choose a popular major with your bare hands, what should you do if these are not what your child likes? Can you take a step back and let the children decide how to go in life? We just need to be happy with the children's decision.
I want my children to conform to my heart, choose my own interests and choose a partner who can live happily together. This ability needs to be cultivated from an early age, provided that parents will not impose their wishes on their children.
2. Find out who you are and what your life goal is, and don't let your child take this responsibility.
If you still have unfinished things you want to accomplish, goals you want to pursue, and perhaps some regrets before the arrival of the children, you must remember that these are your regrets, not the children's.
When a child comes into this world, he also has his own goals and pursuits in life, and the coincidence rate between his goals and yours will be very low. Only when you fully understand this, you won't blame the children blindly, or tell them that "it's all because of you that I gave up my life". These are excuses for not working hard, not for your children. This will only increase the child's guilt, and he will gradually reduce his cognition of himself. In the long run, children will even. Obviously this is not what we want.
So don't rely on children to find your own direction in life. Everyone is responsible for his own life, including yourself.
We should cultivate and maintain a family affection with gentle love, and face the ups and downs of life together with this affection.
1, cultivate the affection between family members
After having children, parents need to give up some of their own personal time, spend more time with their children's growth, observe the happiness and troubles of their children's growth, and communicate with their children more, so that the feelings between family members will become stronger and stronger and they will get along more and more harmoniously. Companionship is the most affectionate confession.
2. Slowly bring up grown-up children, which in turn will nourish the family.
Don't think that children will leave when they grow up, leaving only some money to take care of you. In fact, if a family's emotional bond is strong enough from an early age, then when you need love and comfort, the children will in turn nourish the family.
Raising children not only brings us happiness and happiness, but also broadens our minds, makes us braver and more willing to try many different things. Their sincere love and dedication to each other always move us.
So, slowly raise children, give love and try to be yourself. When they really grow up and have independent power, you will truly feel the happiness and joy they bring to the family.
About children's education, the three most important points are patience, companionship and slow care.
Educating children is a long-term practice. Let's go together.