Professor Li Meijin, graduated from Renmin University of China, is now a professor and postgraduate tutor at People's Public Security University of China. He has been engaged in the research of criminal psychology and adolescent psychological problems for a long time, and has conducted detailed investigations on many cases, and has his own unique views on the cases. Summarized the following points:

First, children's psychological problems.

Children's problems are often created by adults. Every psychological or behavioral problem of children must be related to parents' behavior and parents' education methods. Therefore, sometimes the real problem to be solved is not children, but adults.

Second: talk about suicide.

Professor Li made an analogy when answering a student's question in a speech: My life is my own, why can't I decide to end it? The metaphor of suicide is: you are walking in the street, you are hungry, you can walk into any restaurant, then you order a bunch of dishes, wipe your mouth after eating, and you start to go out.

Because, a person, especially before the age of three, can hardly make a decision. Without making a decision, he depends on others for everything. Therefore, as long as a person survives, someone must have given you something to live for. In other words, if you have eaten other people's food and owe others money, can you leave without paying back the money? Therefore, life is one's own, and it is ignorance of the development process of life.

In fact, as soon as everyone survives, as long as they live to this day, we all owe our parents (caregivers) and the society, so there is no way to owe them, because people are quite helpless at the beginning of their lives.

Third: Parents want to have control.

Parents have gained psychological capital to raise their children, that is to say, parents should not rely on intimidation if they want to have real control over their children, especially if mothers want to have real control over their children in the early life. For example, it's no use scaring a child under two years old. If he cries badly, then you really have no temper. So what kind of child can he listen to you?

That must be a supporter. Here is an example of the last emperor Puyi. In the first half of his life, Puyi said that he was a little prince when he was young and was loved by people around him in the early days of his life. He said that it was common for him to beat and scold eunuchs when he was 1 1 years old, and his ruthless and aggressive character began to take shape.

At first, when he was like this, people asked his teacher, who told him the way of kindness and forgiveness, but he said, it's useless! No matter how many stories about Tessa in history they use to educate themselves, it is useless. Only one person found it difficult for him to go against what he said. This man is his wet nurse.

Therefore, in the year when the child was born, no matter how hard and tired he was, he had to support himself. Without this condition, he wouldn't have a baby. And if you give birth to a child and give it to someone else to raise it, especially when you are just born, you are busy with work and send the child to your hometown, then you lose psychological control over him.

For example, if a child is brought up by a grandmother and doesn't come back to accompany his parents until school, as long as the child is psychologically sad, he must want to see his grandmother first. If there are some contradictions between his mother and his grandmother, the child will hate his mother from the heart and turn to his grandmother. That is to say, it will take ten months to be pregnant and raised, so it is better to raise it early. Before he is one and a half years old, it is best to bring him up by himself.

Fourth, the critical period of children's psychological development.

Character is formed before the age of six. Some problems can't be managed later if they are not solved, but you can try to fix them in adolescence.

What do children have to learn? Restrain willfulness, prevent depression, learn to be patient, prevent selfishness and experience setbacks.

For example, a three-or four-year-old boy is messing with you, whether it's mom or dad, and I say not today. If a boy makes trouble, how can he make trouble for you? Big deal, rolling underground? If you don't manage it at this time, how can you manage it in adolescence?

At this time, let the child study hard, don't give him money, and don't let him go to Internet cafes. The child will still make trouble with you, so how can he make trouble? He may run away from home or even commit suicide. What can I do at this time?

Author: I love banshee

Introduction: A little devil who always makes God laugh.