Nowadays, many only-child parents only pay attention to their children's learning effect, food, clothing, housing and transportation. , while ignoring their independent living ability, hard-working and challenging spirit. These "spiritual things" are necessary to adapt to the rapid development of society and cultivate cross-century talents, as well as their psychological development; Therefore, we should attach importance to frustration education.
(A), the real perception and careful guidance, exercise children's frustration-resistant personality.
1. Children's correct cognition and understanding of frustration is the key to frustration education and the first step for us to carry out frustration education. Children are still young, and their understanding of things is concrete. When we educate our children about setbacks, we can provide them with some film and television works that have experienced setbacks and won, or personal experiences of parents and teachers, or even short stories of children around us winning through failure. Through these real and sensible facts, children can intuitively understand the development process of things, truly perceive setbacks, realize that life has ups and downs, and thus have a preliminary understanding of setbacks. Only by letting children fully feel setbacks in overcoming difficulties and correctly understanding setbacks can children be trained not to be afraid.
2. Children's frustration education should break their dependence. As educators, children should be given the opportunity to face the reality and let them realize that victory depends on their own efforts. Once, if playing ball in my class was not enough, I invited Niu Niu, who has always been timid, to borrow it from another class. She seemed a little timid at that time, but she went anyway. I glanced at the little guy out of the corner of my eye and saw her go straight to the next class. Near the door, Niu Niu finally couldn't help looking for me. Seeing her almost flinching, I deliberately turned away and pretended not to see it. Xu teacher greeted Niu Niu with a big smile. She hesitated for a while, and finally got up the courage to say that she wanted to borrow the ball. She laughed when she gave me the borrowed ball. I didn't expect her to dare to talk to people at ordinary times, but she also helped the teacher do something today. I patted Niu Niu on the head, then gave her a thumbs-up and gave her a big compliment. Whether it is happiness, disappointment or pain, let the children experience it themselves. Children are children after all. They will do something wrong and say the wrong thing. It doesn't matter. We must tell them that people always make mistakes when they are young. Even famous scientists often make mistakes when they are young. They will also encounter failures and setbacks, such as Edison and Einstein ... When they encounter difficulties and failures, it is very important to find a solution to the problem. Only in this way can children have enough ability to face all kinds of challenges in the future and adapt to the ever-changing times.
(2) Create situations to provide opportunities and use some difficult situations to train children.
Children's activities are limited, and many setbacks are not often encountered in real life. Educators should pay attention to consciously creating some situations and opportunities while using natural scenes for frustration education, so that children can get all kinds of' exercises'. In order to improve children's ability to accept setbacks, we can set up different difficult situations, so that children can gradually undergo tempering and purposefully cultivate their frustration tolerance. For example, hiking, labor, competition, criticism, delaying satisfaction and other activities and means can exercise children's will and enhance their ability to adapt to harsh environments and cope with failures and blows.
Games are children's most basic and favorite activities, and children can easily accept and master the methods to overcome setbacks in game activities. In the game, you can set up some artificial obstacles for children to solve themselves ... for example, let children go to the darkroom to get things; What should I do if I have a problem with my child? In outdoor games, children can be guided to climb obstacles through the "single-plank bridge". In role games, children can be arranged to play the role of exclusion and exclusion in interpersonal conflicts, so that they can experience different psychological feelings and guide them to analyze the causes of conflicts and find ways and methods to solve problems.
In daily life, we can also create some frustration situations, such as: hiding children's favorite toys and encouraging them to find them themselves;
(3) Set an example to enhance confidence and establish the belief that children will win.
Children's thinking is intuitive, and lively images are often more likely to impress children. Therefore, we should be good at using those living examples in life to educate children and set an example. For example, in daily life, children often fall and get scratched. At this time, as a teacher, you should try to say to your child calmly: "It doesn't matter, the teacher will go to the clinic with you to clean up. Just pay attention next time." Or say, "Never mind, it will be all right soon." The teacher's behavior gave the child a good hint, so that the child naturally learned how to calmly deal with setbacks and how to face the future bravely.
In addition, teachers and parents should set an example for their children with their own actions and educate them to face difficulties and challenges bravely. When the game takes the "single-plank bridge", Tintin will say, "Teacher, I'm afraid I won't go". Then I said, "Don't be afraid, you can do it. If you can walk there, you can do well. " Or "I believe you will be as brave as Zhang Xin." In this way, under the power of example, children will become more and more confident and brave, and increase their confidence in overcoming difficulties. At this time, my "that's very kind of you" will become a child's "I'm very kind".
Create opportunities for children to communicate with their peers.
Communicating with peers can help children find different views from themselves, so as to better understand others and themselves and overcome self-centeredness. In peer groups, children often experience some setbacks, such as disagreement and submission to the position of being led, so that he must learn how to get along well and cooperate from time to time to better maintain his position among peers, and this kind of tempering will help improve children's ability to resist setbacks. In addition, mutual communication and guidance between peers can also help children overcome difficulties and solve problems better.
In short, teaching children to face setbacks and overcome them is not achieved overnight, nor is it a deliberate pursuit of success. The key is to let nature take its course and conform to the law of children's development. Cultivate children's ability to subtly accept setbacks in life. What children can do independently must be done independently and persistently. Any indulgence and accommodation will cause children's dependent thoughts, so children should know setbacks in experience and learn how to overcome difficulties and setbacks.
(5) Mastering the problems that should be paid attention to in education of moderation and frustration.
When children encounter difficulties and failures, they often have negative emotions, which are manifested as shrinking, shrinking and escaping. Therefore, as we should consciously design some difficult tasks in peacetime, we can finish them by jumping and let the children finish them. When children retreat from difficulties, they can improve their psychological acceptance through criticism, instead of being unwilling to make a correct evaluation of their behavior because they can't bear to be wronged. Of course, when children accept setbacks, we still need to give them appropriate encouragement and give them the courage to face setbacks.
The differences of children's individual qualities exist objectively. Some parents are eager to make their children succeed, set too high demands on their children, and artificially set traps to make their children feel strongly frustrated in the face of pressure. If children often suffer such setbacks, they will feel "incompetent" and lose self-confidence because everything fails. When implementing frustration education, we must master the "degree" and pay attention to the fact that children can't have setbacks in the development process, nor can they do too many setbacks. The role of education is to guide children to face up to setbacks, adhere to psychological balance when they suffer setbacks, find ways to overcome setbacks, and make children's physical and mental health develop.