Freud was the first therapist who discovered empathy and applied it to psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. He defined empathy as "the patient saw his childhood and the resurrection of an important person in the past in the psychoanalyst, so he transferred his feelings and reactions suitable for this model to the psychoanalyst". That is, visitors will express their feelings, thoughts and emotions about their parents in their early years in their relationship with consultants; Or recreate the past interpersonal relationship with important people in the counselor. It is a common phenomenon that visitors empathize with consultants during consultation. No matter what theoretical orientation or consulting genre, visitors will inevitably encounter all kinds of empathy. Therefore, counselors should learn to accurately judge the occurrence of empathy of visitors and handle it properly. There are three main aspects to deal with empathy. The first is to pay attention to the principle of dealing with empathy. The second is to distinguish different situations and decide the order and method of treatment; The third is direct intervention, which mainly deals with empathy by reminding, revealing, explaining and asking questions. First, the principle of dealing with empathy There are two basic principles to be noted: 1. Don't explain empathy at the initial stage of consultation, because empathy is usually in the subconscious. Even if the visitors have erupted in action, they don't know why. Knowing their past experiences and psychological conflicts is sometimes painful for the other party. Therefore, in the initial stage of consultation, it is best not to explain empathy to the visitors before the relationship between consultation and visiting has been transformed into a relationship of high trust and security. It is generally believed that before the explanation of empathy, there should be sufficient emotional coordination and a stable and mature relationship between consultation and visiting. 2. Deal with the consulting relationship before dealing with the content of the problem 2. Here, we distinguish different empathy phenomena, mainly different forms, different manifestations and different degrees of empathy. We should determine the order and methods of dealing with empathy reactions like the consultation process. 1. Distinguish different forms of empathy. Formally, empathy can be divided into positive empathy and negative empathy. Positive empathy means that visitors regard the counselor as the object of happiness, happiness or affection in their previous lives, and project positive emotions on the counselor, which often include affection, like, admiration, attachment and even love. Negative empathy means that visitors regard the counselor as the object of frustration, pain or depression in their past experiences and project negative emotions on the counselor. These emotions often include doubt, dissatisfaction, resistance, rejection and even hostility. The general view is that negative empathy should be dealt with first, because negative empathy will often directly destroy the relationship between consultants and visitors, and even make visitors resolutely interrupt the consulting relationship. However, we should also attach great importance to positive empathy. Counselors should prevent inappropriate personal relationships with visitors, and they should also pay attention to the fact that positive empathy may also develop into negative empathy. For example, when the consultant can't meet the expectations or requirements of the visitors, the visitors may change from liking the consultant to hating the consultant and no longer trusting them. 2. Distinguish the different manifestations and degrees of empathy. When dealing with empathy, we should also consider its different forms and degrees of expression. Empathy can be divided into direct empathy and indirect empathy. Direct empathy means that visitors' empathy response to counselors is obvious and direct. This kind of empathy is intuitive, and it is easy for counselors to feel and perceive. It is often expressed directly by the visitors in words. Indirect empathy means that the empathy response of visitors to consultants is hidden and indirect. This kind of empathy is hard to detect, usually reflected by the expression and behavior of visitors, but it can not be clearly observed that it is related to consultants. It is generally believed that consultants only need to pay less attention to indirect expression, moderate degree or weak empathy, mainly to monitor and prevent it from developing into direct explosion and strong empathy; For direct and strong empathy, we should take it seriously and handle it properly, including using some consulting skills to deal with it. Third, direct intervention pays attention to the principle of empathy treatment, distinguishes empathy in different situations, and then enters direct intervention. Here are three main intervention methods: 1. Remind visitors that their behavior has deviated from the boundaries of basic norms or consulting relationships. 2. Point out their empathic reaction directly to the visitors. This means that when visitors are aware of this empathy reaction, they can point it out to them directly and make themselves aware of it. For example, "You hate your father, so you project this feeling on me." Or "Do you think you treat me like your father?" 3. Use explanations to promote visitors' understanding. Counselors use interpretation technology to show their feelings, attitudes and defense mechanisms to visitors, as well as unrealistic fantasies in the consulting relationship. It may be that visitors project the feelings of an important person in the past on counselors, providing visitors with a new way of thinking and a new perspective on their empathy. It should be noted that these three methods are gradually deepening, and the choice of direct intervention method depends on the relationship between the counselor and the visitor, as well as the cognitive ability and emotional state of the visitor at that time. When the relationship between the counselor and the visitor is unstable, the cognitive endurance of the visitor is insufficient, or the explanation may cause the resistance of the visitor, it is not appropriate to blindly pursue the use of interpretation technology to promote the understanding of the visitor, otherwise it will have a negative impact.