For example, some people say:
I hate many things about my mother and my father's hypocrisy. It's painful to find myself treating people more and more like them now.
I was afraid of my mother's hysterical anger, but yesterday I was just like her;
I used to think my mother was strong and controlling. The more I grow up, the more I feel strong and controlling. I am really tired.
My father has a super bad temper. He made me want to die when I did something wrong. As a result, others did something wrong, so I scolded others. It's terrible to think about it.
I hate my dad's indifference and moodiness, especially his gloomy appearance. But unconsciously, I also became indifferent and moody. It's gloomy. Like him, I'm completely at a loss.
? Many times, we obviously hate the way our parents treat us or some behaviors. We may swear many times that we must not be like dad or mom when we grow up. But when we really grow up, in intimate relationships, parent-child relationships or other relationships, we unconsciously repeat behaviors similar to those of our parents! When we don't realize this repetition, we will become more and more like one of our hated parents. When we realize it, we will increase our pain and self-blame.
? What we dislike most about our parents is what we look like most in the end. This is often because the more we feel pain, the more energy we will spend on it to prevent ourselves from getting hurt. The more energy we consume, the more energy we absorb from it, and eventually we will become a part of ourselves. For example, a child who has never been respected can hardly learn to respect others; A child who grows up in fear may always be wary of others when he grows up. There is an old saying in China that at the age of three, you look down on the small, and at the age of seven, you look down on the big. It is about the great influence of our childhood family environment on us.
? What can be done to better solve the above situation?
? The first point is to realize this unfortunate cycle, why I don't like my parents like this, and then I will do it myself. When we are aware of our behavior pattern, we have the ability to change this pattern slowly, thus changing our lives.
? Next, we should continue to grow and practice to develop our physical and mental health. The most basic method is to personally experience new relationships, experience the relationship model of equality, respect and love, and rebuild a new emotional cognitive behavior system. Therefore, to change the above situation, we can now let ourselves enter some new equal and respectful relationships, such as lovers and friends, establish some new identities from trusted others, learn new models, and break through the problems and behavior patterns of the old identities.
? If it is difficult to find such a relationship in real life, it can be said that finding a reliable and well-trained psychological counselor for self-growth counseling is the best way to find such a relationship and get rid of the influence of family background. Hurry up and let's grow together!