This is a passage written by Liang Qichao at the beginning of establishing a girls' school, which shows that Liang Qichao also knows that the role of mother is very important in a family.
For most people, they have to go through three stages of education: family, school and society. In these three stages, family education runs through. As the first stage of life education, how can parents give their children a good start in life as their first teachers? This question is a necessary question for parents, and it certainly confuses many parents.
According to the big data of relevant scholars, the role of mother in family education is very important for a family. Before the middle school stage, the role of mother far exceeded that of father. This period is a critical period for children to form "three views" and to develop good study and behavior habits. So mothers should not immerse themselves in their mobile phones all day, spend their energy on Tik Tok and having fun, and spend very little energy and time on educating their children.
Yesterday, I went to Zoucheng on business. Zoucheng is a thousand-year-old city and the hometown of Mencius, an "Asian sage". After finishing my official duties, I went to Mengfu and Mengmiao and deeply felt the profound style and charm of Confucianism. Among them, the story of Meng Mu's parenting is even more thought-provoking. ...
During the trip to Zoucheng, Mengfu and Mengmiao are the must-see places.
There is a landscape in the Mengmiao Temple, which is the stone tablet where Meng Mu moved three times and Meng Mu broke the machine. There are five stone monuments, which make me think about these two.
Behind these two stone tablets is a mother's high hopes for her son's growth. The story of parenting more than two thousand years ago is still very useful today.
Mencius' mother moved three times
The ancestral home of Zou is the descendant of Lu nobles. However, Mencius, who was born in a famous family, was ill-fated. He lost his father at the age of three and was brought up by his mother.
According to historical records, Mencius began to study at about 15 years old. According to the age standard of children's study now, he should be in the second grade of junior high school.
Mencius' mother attached great importance to the children's growing environment and knew the truth that "those who are close to Mexico are black". In order to provide Mencius with a good learning and growing environment, she moved three times.
Mencius' earliest home was near the village cemetery. A cemetery is a place to bury the dead. No matter who dies, whoever goes to visit the grave, according to the custom and etiquette, the bereaved people should bow down and burn incense and paper, and most of them are crying, because they are heartbroken and extremely sad after losing their loved ones.
Young Mencius is at the age of learning knowledge, and he is full of curiosity about everything in the world. When he saw the scene of the sacrifice, he imitated it with the children in the neighborhood, and his expression was sad and vivid.
Mencius' acting skills did not make his mother happy, but worried her. She thought that the environment here was not conducive to Mencius' healthy growth, so she made up her mind to move her family to Miaohuying Village in the western suburbs of Zou Capital.
I thought that the relocation could provide Mencius with a good growth environment. What Meng Mu didn't expect was that his new home was in a busy city where people came and went. On one occasion, the young Mencius actually imitated the cries of the butcher who sold pork at home. Meng Mu listen, the in the mind very worried. She began to worry that some bad habits on the street would be bad for Mencius' growth and decided to move again!
When she moved this time, Meng Mu summed up the experience and lessons. After a field trip, she decided to move her family to the school, because the school is a place to learn knowledge and manners, and the people around her are cultured and polite. In such an environment, Mencius can be influenced by good cultivation. So, Meng Mu decided to settle down here.
Broken machine metaphor
After moving to a new home, Mencius, a teenager, was quite familiar with the new environment. Soon he became one with his companions, reading, studying and playing together. Such days have passed day by day.
One day, Mencius actually skipped classes at school. Meng Mu was very angry when he learned this, but he didn't take a simple and rude way to educate Mencius, nor did he take corporal punishment or corporal punishment in disguise.
What measures have been taken?
Meng Mu called Mencius to the loom, picked up a knife and cut cloth on the loom. Mencius looked at it and asked in surprise: Why?
Meng Mu replied: If you play truant, you will end your study, just like I cut the cloth I am knitting. Mencius was deeply moved by this and never played truant again.
Kill dolphins without cheating children.
Everyone is familiar with the story of Ceng Zi killing pigs.
The outline of this story is:
One day, the wife of Ceng Zi (one of Confucius' disciples, Zeng Shen) is going to the market. Following is a characteristic of children. When Ceng Zi's son sees his mother go to the market, he will also get excited. Ceng Zi's wife didn't want her son to follow, and her son began to cry. Ceng Zi's wife casually said to her son in order to coax the children to obey: Go home first, and when I come back from the market, I will kill pigs and stew for you.
When Ceng Zi's wife comes home, Ceng Zi is going to kill one of his pigs. Ceng Zi's wife quickly stopped: This is a joke with the children, don't take it seriously! Ceng Zi said: Children are not sensible. They should follow the example of their parents. If a mother cheats on her son, he won't trust her. This is not the way to educate children.
With these words, Ceng Zi killed the pigs at home and cooked meat for Ceng Zi's son.
In fact, in the story of Meng Mu's parenting, there are also legends about killing pigs to eat meat.
One day, Mencius' neighbor killed pigs. Listening to the pig's cry, Mencius asked his mother: Why did the neighbor kill the pig? Meng Mu didn't care about Mencius' problem, and casually said: The neighbor kills pigs and invites you to eat pork!
The words sound just fell and Meng Mu deeply regretted it. How can he cheat a child? In order to make up for her mistake, she had to take out money from home, buy some pork from her neighbor's house and give it to Mencius.
Family education is very important, but it is not mysterious. Family education is not a whim, but a change of mind.
In family education, parents must set an example for their children. A parent who doesn't know manners and civilization shouldn't expect to bring up a child who knows manners. A parent who only knows how to eat, drink and be merry, but doesn't want to raise a studious and enterprising child. ...
Through the story of Meng Mu's parenting, we can get some enlightenment:
First, we should recognize the importance of the nurturing environment. If children want to grow up healthily, they should create a harmonious, healthy and uplifting atmosphere.
Second, parents must keep their promises;
Third, when their children make mistakes, they should adopt effective educational methods, not simple and rude, not to mention adding sticks together. Hurting their hearts is far more important than hurting their bodies.
There are ways to raise children, but there is no fixed method. Family education should be based on the principle of seeking truth from facts and adapting to local conditions.