Neglect is a great harm, but it is invisible and difficult to find.

It was an invisible wound, slowly fermenting in my heart, but the injured person didn't know it.

In childhood trauma, abuse, neglect and family dysfunction are the three biggest factors, but only "neglect and neglect" is the most ugly but the impact is equally serious.

Austrian psychologist Adler said that lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives.

Sometimes do you dislike yourself and feel annoyed that many things have not been done well?

In fact, it's not that you are not cute, but that you were injured when you were a child.

How do you resonate with the following words?

* Sensitive, many people will listen to casual words.

* Other motives are generally considered unfriendly.

* Always sigh

* Thinking is often a bit negative.

* can't really love (don't believe in pure love or think that love will hurt people)

* I hope others will pay, but I am afraid to pay.

* argumentative, do not admit mistakes

* Always be fair.

* think that the results will be affirmed.

* Perfectionism, demanding of making mistakes.

* Feeling is never enough, and it's hard to be satisfied.

* I will be jealous (for example, it's nothing, I can do better)

* will criticize others (for example, he is ... so ...)

* will pay too much attention to what they lack (for example, money, love)

* will focus on the details of something, it is difficult to see the whole picture.

* Emotional control needs to be improved

* Weak ability to resist temptation.

* can't delay meeting, want to get.

(The above refers to the psychological and behavioral characteristics of orphans)

How many items did you win in the above words? To be honest, I have all the conditions.

The above project is aimed at the word "orphan mentality" in my childhood trauma treatment course.

I explained the original proper nouns in a colloquial way.

On that day, every event was like a heavy punch, hanging in my mind and making me awake.

Like a shocking education ...

Because I never thought that I was always proud of my independence and maturity when I was a child. It turns out that pride is a protective color, but it actually hurts me deeply.

It is not just a few things, but a huge extension and coverage of my thoughts and actions as a whole, thus affecting society and family.

Why do I have an orphan mentality?

This started when I was a child. ...

I am a key child. Since the second grade, I have been walking to school (about one kilometer) and taking the bus by myself (I still admire myself for being very good at playing! )

After class, I went to Anqin class, and then I walked home by myself. At that time, there was no dinner in the diligent class. At 7 o'clock at the latest, my parents didn't come back until 8 or 9 o'clock.

I have been signing the contact book myself since I learned to imitate my mother's name.

My parents have no time to attend the parents' meeting and sports meeting at school.

All this time, it's like I grew up on my own.

It may be unfair to parents, but now that I have children, I really feel that I have grown up.

In the process of healing, I saw the expectation and disappointment of my childhood.

Looking forward to going home, someone is waiting for me, looking forward to my parents coming back soon.

Looking forward to mom's lunch (I didn't eat nutritious lunch when I was a child)

I expect my parents to cheer me up and bring food together when I play in class.

But I'm alone.

When I was a child, I was overbearing and tough. I don't listen to my teacher, I don't do my homework and I don't like going to school.

In that world where everyone is a good baby, I am like a different kind, a child who is not liked by people.

If I am not too tall, too strong and too fat, I will be bullied.

However, crowding out should be no less than ...

It turns out that I have been an injured child from home to school.

And what I have is a strong protective color, because there is no sense of security and no value.

I want my parents to see me.

But at that time, I was young and didn't know how to express it. Maybe I expressed it in the wrong way.

And the feedback is more disappointment and hurt.

Just like the list above.

I have become so strong and argumentative that I want to show my ability.

But no matter what you do, you can't be satisfied, and you always feel that you can't do it well.

I feel very insecure.

In the relationship between men and women, I am like another neurotic partner, and the strong insecurity makes people stressed.

I can't get close to people.

I always worry that my friends or lovers will hate me after getting to know me better.

I can't trust anyone.

Thought someone else would leave me.

Like a bottomless pit, an unsatisfied sense of emptiness has been hanging over me.

I am an unlovable person.

It turns out that I was hurt by "neglect" when I was a child.

Before attending medical class, I always thought that it was my mother's emotions when she was young that hurt me.

I also thought it was the pain of losing my loved ones, which made me unable to let go.

It turns out that the deepest root is "being ignored"

Neglect is really a great harm, and it appears invisibly.

So we really have to face up to this problem.

Now I am constantly healing myself, healing myself, which took me a lifetime.

The child is still young and growing.

First, they are all beautiful changes and updates. We just need to give unconditional love and let him feel that we will not create an injured child.

Encourage each other

I will go to some medical courses and psychological counseling, all in order to strengthen my heart.

Give me more strength and wisdom to take care of my children.

A wise and strong mother can lead her children to have a wonderful childhood.

Know yourself better and heal your wounds.

We will have enough strength and love, and there will be no deviation in our love for children.

Unconditional love and acceptance,

We know the root of the problem and the reason why the child was injured at the meeting.

We can be more empathetic and wise to guide our children and avoid making mistakes again.

God created a beautiful man.

Suffering and sadness also test us and make us stronger.

1 Timothy 4:4

# Childhood Trauma # Healing # Neglect # Subconscious # Introspective Diary # Wake up, girls

Recommended reading: the importance of family! Childhood trauma, the probability of mental illness is high when you grow up, stop the vicious circle! What are the six kinds of psychological trauma that children often encounter in the family?

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