In the book, Mr. Zhou has the view that being a child's friend and the child's willingness to treat himself as a friend is the highest level of parenting. We should make friends with children, that is, we should not treat children as pets or tools, but treat them as an independent personality in the process of formation, not only to love them, but also to give them trust and respect. Now most parents like me are only children at home. They grew up under the care of their parents. Now that I have my own children, I often spoil them too much and do whatever I want. It is easy for them to become arrogant, stubborn and self-centered. For things that belong to children, neither arrange nor interfere, but pay attention to them with love and treat them with an equal and peaceful attitude.
My son just went to kindergarten last year. He is very interested in painting and paper cutting, but he always pesters me to help him cut and draw. I asked him why he didn't draw. He said that he didn't draw well, and the paper-cut was broken when he cut it. Because of this, I am also very nervous. The child has no confidence in himself. Later, I simply bought a big stack of crayon scissors to encourage him to try painting and cutting at will. One day he was very happy to bring it to me. He cut out the graphics on the playing cards very smoothly. Although it was a little damaged and the house was in a mess, my son made great progress and accomplished what he was afraid of independently. Teacher Zhou also mentioned in the book that children in China always grow up under the eyes of their parents, so it seems that they are always growing up, relying on their parents for big and small matters, refusing to use their brains and make their own decisions. This is not the nature of children in China, but the result of acquired education. Parents in European countries also love their children, but at the same time attach great importance to cultivating their children's ability to live independently, which is simply regarded as the first priority of children's education. In their view, it is common sense that to truly love children, children should be able to live well without their parents. As our parents in China, we should pay special attention to cultivating children's independent spirit and strong character, so that they can face the challenges of the severe environment in the future.
Zhou advocates giving children a real childhood. In fact, many parents now think that they should not let their children lose at the starting line. Since kindergarten, children have been trained in all aspects, such as playing chess, dancing, drawing and telling stories. Children have participated in the competitions that can be filmed at such a young age, from the first grade of primary school to the university. I wonder how much homework and exams they have to endure in order to get that final diploma. In such a beautiful period, its value is completely obliterated, and everything is just to prepare for finding a job in the future. But now China's education system makes parents and teachers have to do this, so it is difficult to have other choices. But for the social system like China now, this kind of education system needs to be changed. But how to change it? Is it better than this? If the threshold of college entrance examination is removed, it is no problem, but how to select talents and further optimize our education system after removal can not be completed overnight, nor can it be solved by educators as teachers.
Today, with the development of information, our children lost their childhood prematurely. I think as parents, we should have two expectations for our children. First, they should be safe. The second is: the growth of physical and mental health. As for what children will do in the future and whether they will achieve anything, we don't have to worry so much, just let nature take its course.
It is also mentioned here that for the sake of children's growth, we can keep a diary for children and record their growth process from the day they are born. This is the same as Zhou's insistence on keeping a diary. When we do this, we are also rethinking and thinking about our own parenting experience. It records not only the process of observing children's learning to be human, but also the process of learning to be parents ourselves. This precious gift for future children is also a precious souvenir of an important journey in our own life. I quite agree with this view.