How to talk about sex with children, the following views can be used for parents' reference.
(1) Don't wait to ask questions.
Sometimes parents feel that their children never ask questions. In fact, sometimes you don't have to wait for your child to ask questions before you start talking. Parents can use the events around them or in society to discuss with their children. Explain to your child what you think about some problems, the preventive measures you should take to avoid some problems, and the solutions you should take after the incident.
(2) admit when you don't know.
Sometimes I don't know how to answer children's questions, or I don't know at all. It doesn't matter. Admit to your child that you don't know. A good way is to check the information with your child and find the answer. Through this matter, we can also set an example for children to be honest and solve problems.
(3) Teaching correct names
Try to teach children the correct names of various parts of the body, such as penis and vulva. This will help you communicate with your child more accurately and conveniently. The correct names of body parts will also help you explain to your child what sexual assault is. Children can also tell you clearly whether there has been sexual assault.
What you do is as important as what you say.
Parents should pay attention to the nonverbal information their children get from adults. For example, mutual respect, loyalty, sharing housework, respecting the old and loving the young, helping others, being polite, being serious and responsible for work, being honest and trustworthy, etc. Will be passed on to their children through their parents' behavior.
(5) Respect your children.
Let's discuss three important factors that will affect how your children deal with the sexual problems of teenagers and future adults. These three factors are: self-esteem, privacy and how to make a decision.
Help children learn how to make decisions.
Cultivating children's decision-making ability and self-judgment ability is also a very important content of sex education. Most decisions about sex made by our children are made in private, that is, they are made without our presence and guidance. As children get older, the situations they encounter and the decisions they make will become more complicated. Parents should teach their children decision-making skills, tell them information, values, self-confidence, how to get the best results, and give them the opportunity to practice decision-making skills as soon as possible. In the process of learning to make decisions, increase your sense of responsibility. It is also important to support children to make decisions and respect their choices.
Before or after puberty, most children will face sexual situations and have to make a decision. He may need to know what a safe date or social activity is and what kind of situation is potentially dangerous to sexual assault. How to make better decisions in some situations depends in part on the skills and confidence they have developed in their early childhood.
As the saying goes: "People can talk, so can animals." Cats and dogs who can't speak can understand many of our meanings, although they can't speak human words. So, can a dumb baby understand us?
I remember when my son was more than 2 months old, I looked at him and found his eyes looking at me intently. I thought he would understand something at this time, so I said to him, "Mom loves you." He smiled at once, and his legs and arms were moving happily. I think he might understand. After repeating it several times, I'm sure he can really understand me. He likes this sentence.
By the age of three or four, my son can speak clearly, and the phrase "I love you" is often used by him. He can accurately express his feelings with this sentence. The funniest thing is that when he asks you for something, he will first say, "Mom, I love you. What can I do …? " He not only said it to me, but also said "I love you" to the person he liked! .
I love you! This sentence makes it very easy for him to communicate with others, and it also makes him very easy to get close to others. At the same time, this sentence benefited him a lot because he was loved by everyone.
The choice of language, first of all, is to choose caring, friendly and warm colors.
(1) Tell the truth, don't lie.
Language positioning is very important in sex education for infants. Because infants and young children are surrounded by peers, elders and elders. They are communicating with all the people. They are like a new computer with a large capacity, but there are not many things stored in it, so they are desperately "eating" knowledge.
I remember when I was a child (about 3 years old), I once found an aunt dripping blood (menstruating) in a public toilet. I was so scared that I thought she was ill. I imagined that she might faint, so I refused to leave the toilet and kept staring at her. Grandma pulled me out. I asked my grandmother, "What happened to that aunt?" Grandma said, "She did something bad, so she was bleeding."
"Did she do anything bad?" I thought gloomily, "Why do you want to make that place bleed when you do bad things?" This problem has been bothering me for a long time. Whenever I feel that I have done something bad (something I think is wrong), I worry about bleeding in my place and try my best to check myself. In retrospect, it seems that Christians are praying.
I still remember it clearly today. It was a summer morning. I woke up earlier than before and felt something was wrong with my underwear. When I get up, I look at it. Blood! I was shocked! I was almost scared, as if the sky were falling. Oh, my God! Karma has finally come! What have I done?
After all these years, I want to laugh even when I think about it. I was afraid to tell my parents because I was afraid. I found some toilet paper to cushion it. Because I didn't get it right, I wore it on my pants at school. I dare not go home after school. I sat in the classroom until it was dark, put my bag on my ass and ran home desperately. Such an embarrassing thing was not solved until my sister discovered it one day.
When we know that our language will be infinitely expanded by children, we can understand why we shouldn't lie about sex education.
(2) How to use the correct words
In fact, people use some pronouns to refer to their children's genitals, and there is no malice. For example, you are teaching children: this is the ear, that is the eye, that is the mouth … "What is this?" Your child suddenly points to your penis and asks you. If you answer, "This is a penis." All right, kid. Got it. But when he pointed to his penis in public and told everyone that it was a penis, can you imagine how ridiculous it was?
Penis = penis, sparrow and bell. This is a well-known and established term for many years, just like a person's name and birth name can coexist for a long time. It is normal to use different names on different occasions, and there is no need to be too "real" on such issues. However, it is very necessary to let the child know that "penis" is also called "penis" when he or she is older.
For external genitalia, there are some names similar to milk names. Another advantage is that it can make children realize that the external genitalia is a little different from other parts of the body, that is, it cannot be exposed in public. Children observe that children wear open-backed pants, but adults don't. Whenever our children cry for defecation when many guests visit, we always push them away eagerly and gently. Our slightly naughty eyes and behaviors will make them understand that this is a "secret" between you and me.
Some sex educators clamor for children to know the medical name of genitals. I think this is necessary in childhood. But for infants (under 3 years old), there is no need to force them, because children who learn to speak may also talk about their legs and feet first, then their knees, ankles, thighs and calves. The key problem is that we should not use names other than medical names and common names. Remember: your words will expand your imagination infinitely. If you avoid talking about them or telling lies, you may bring wrong imagination to your children.
Of course, in sex education for infants and young children, adults and children should be clear about the difference between reproductive system and excretory system. Sometimes confusion about genitals can lead to serious misunderstanding. Little boys have no problem distinguishing their penis from their anus; However, due to the close distance between anus and genitals, little girls often think that excretion is related to genitals without teaching, and mistakenly think that their entire vulva is "dirty" or unsanitary. Every little girl should have such common sense that the vaginal opening is between the urethral opening and the anal opening. This knowledge is very important, because in cultivating toilet hygiene habits, she must learn the habit of wiping from front to back after going to the toilet to keep excreta away from the vaginal opening. Even very young girls may suffer from vaginal infection due to incorrect hygiene methods.