What about Master Ding Hong of the Hong Kong Buddhist Association? Why don't you come out to give a lecture? The duty of becoming a monk is to continue Buddhist wisdom, and all monks should become monks. You can read a book about this kind of questioning and thinking. You have some good roots, but you are too obsessed with it. You have not used Buddhism to guide your life and practice well. Buddhists have a saying that "life does not change, fate does not change." Masters also have their own practice to improve, not only to let us see them preach and teach to solve doubts, but also to protect their own hearts, not to talk about the right and wrong of their families, but to practice by themselves.

My humble opinion at the end of my study is for reference only! There is no amitabha in the south!