Bloom, a famous American educational psychologist, tells people with his experiments that encouragement is a positive feedback and can effectively promote learning; However, corporal punishment and psychological violence, as negative feedback, will change qualitatively when accumulated to a certain extent, which will lead to the failure of follow-up study.

Wang Xiaobo gave such a negative example in Silent Majority. When he jumped the queue in Yunnan, he had a bitter meal in order to cooperate with some form at that time.

-

We should have eaten plantain tree hearts, taro flowers and pumpkin flowers, but it's not that bad. However, in order to reflect the bitterness of bitter vegetables, we cooked banana trees, taro stalks and pumpkin vines. As a result, everyone secretly retched and lined up in front of the toilet at midnight.

-

At the end of the article, Wang Xiaobo said, "I don't think this is education, I just think it is tossing people."

In modern family education, it is this meaningless hardship that needs to be vigilant.

Successful "suffering education" is useful, but too many failures are ineffective.

So what should parents do about "hardship education"?

1. Experience the hardships of life.

Parents can take their children to experience and feel for themselves, such as taking them to volunteer activities, so that children can feel how difficult the daily work of ordinary people is.

Just like a father who recently educated his child who didn't want to study online, he took the child to the kitchen yt where he worked daily and asked him which was easier, a pen in one hand and a pot in the other.

In this process, parents should be careful not to "eat too much bitterness", and create experiences for their children according to their age, personality and other characteristics, because only by personal experience can they know that it is not easy.

Tell other people's stories and infect children with your heart.

When a child is very young, his mind is still immature. Parents can tell children other people's stories. They can take their children to learn about the difficulties of all walks of life in the world through books, mobile phones and television, so that children can receive "suffering education" ideologically and understand their parents' painstaking efforts.

3. Experience together, and you can't force it.

Parents should try their best to experience difficulties with their children and lead them to have a dynamic and meaningful experience, instead of children experiencing the wind and the sun and parents resting and drinking tea indoors. This kind of behavior is absolutely impossible in "suffering education".

Only by personally feeling together can children truly understand the true intention of suffering.

4. Cultivate children's virtue of saving.

For "hardship education", hardship is not for poverty, not for children's lack of clothes and food, but to prevent children from forming a mentality of comparison.