Attachment is the initial social connection between a baby and its main caregiver (usually the mother), and it is also an important symbol of the emotional socialization of a baby. Mother's care is the key to establishing a good attachment relationship.
Attachment theory was first put forward by British psychoanalyst John Balbi, who tried to understand the intense pain that babies experienced after being separated from their parents. Balbi observed that separated babies would try to resist being separated from their parents, or approach their missing parents in extreme ways (such as crying, hugging and frantic searching). He thinks that these behaviors may have biological evolution significance, but he does not reveal the individual differences of children's attachment behavior.
Psychologist Situational method set up a typical situation similar to children's daily life in the laboratory, observed children's reaction in this situation, and studied the types of relationship between different babies and mothers.
In this strange situation, he experimented with 12 month-old babies and their parents, and systematically arranged the separation and reunion of the babies and their parents.
The experimental process is as follows:
1. Mother and son enter a strange room at the same time. There are many toys in the room. Mother sat beside her and the children played freely. (3 minutes)
2. A stranger comes in, is silent at first, and then talks to his mother (1 minute). After another 1 minute, the stranger enters the baby and plays with the baby (1 minute).
When the mother left, the stranger moved with the baby (3 minutes)
4. The mother returns, settles the baby, and the stranger leaves (the first return, 3 minutes).
The mother left and the children stayed indoors alone (3 minutes)
6. A stranger enters the room and moves with the baby (3 minutes)
7. Mother comes back again, settles the baby, and the stranger leaves (3 minutes)
By observing children playing with toys, children's expressions and other emotional reactions (such as crying, etc. ), as well as the tendency of children to associate with strangers, the experimenter divided infant attachment into the following three types:
Safety attachment (safety attachment)
Safe children
When mother is present, she is usually regarded as a "safe base" and actively explores the environment with her as the center. She doesn't always snuggle up to her, only through occasional approach or eye contact. The baby felt safe enough when his mother was present.
When the mother left, she obviously showed distress and anxiety; But when her mother comes back, she will immediately seek contact with her mother. As a "shelter", it is easy to be appeased. About 65% ~ 70%.
The mother of a safe child
Very sensitive to children. They can feed their children according to their own needs and are very sensitive to the time, speed and way of feeding.
There are more reactions to children: crying will comfort "answer" children's questions, and watching children will talk to children.
Mothers allow autonomy and exploration suitable for children's age. Intimacy is flexible: children and mothers are independent activities and communicate at will from time to time.
Mothers like to have close contact with their children and have fun with them in interaction.
Avoidant attachment (avoidant attachment)
Avoidant children
They seldom cry when their mother leaves. When her mother comes back, they are very unhappy and try to avoid her.
These children don't ask for help when they need it. They are often angry and don't care about strangers.
This kind of baby has not actually formed a particularly close emotional connection with his mother. Some people also call this kind of baby "unattached baby", accounting for about 20%.
Mothers of avoidant children
Mothers of avoidant children get angry easily, and some are impatient with their children. When children interfere with their plans and activities, they will show childishness or resentment.
They can't express their feelings and are ashamed to have close physical contact with their children. They are nervous and lack self-confidence. The distance between them and children often causes children's anger.
The mother seems to react negatively to the child's contact attempt: when the child is sad, the mother will shrink back.
(3) Anxiety-contradictory attachment
Children with anxiety and contradiction
Before my mother left, I was very alert, began to be anxious, and paid close attention to my mother's behavior nervously, for fear that my mother would leave, so that I could not enjoy playing games.
After their mother left, they showed great distress and extreme resistance, and any short separation would cause shouting. When their mother came back, their behavior was contradictory: on the one hand, they wanted to get close to their mother, on the other hand, they refused by screaming and kicking. His mother approached him, angrily refused and pushed him away, but it seemed difficult for him to go back to play games and look at her from time to time.
Such children rarely explore the surrounding environment, are difficult to appease and are unfriendly to strangers. This type is often called "rebellious attachment", accounting for about 10% ~ 15%.
Mothers of anxious and contradictory children
Mothers seem to be committed to child-rearing tasks, but they are often unable to get close to their children emotionally.
Mothers often misunderstand their children's signals, and their reaction to their children depends more on their feelings at that time than on their behavior.
Among these three attachment types, avoidant attachment and anxious-contradictory attachment belong to unsafe attachment. The type of infant's attachment to mother is obviously stable, but at the same time, it may change when the family environment changes greatly and the communication between mother and baby changes greatly. A safe type can be converted to an unsafe type, or an unsafe type can be converted to a safe type.
The essence of infant attachment fundamentally depends on the mother's behavior towards the infant. Attachment is not only that the mother meets the baby's needs (including food, water, warmth and comfort), but also depends on the length of time the baby and the mother spend together. Attachment is gradually formed in the interaction and emotional communication between baby and mother. In this process of social interaction, whether a mother cares about her baby or not is the most important aspect.
If the mother can be very concerned about the baby's state, pay attention to the baby's signal, correctly understand and make a timely, appropriate and loving response, the baby can have trust and closeness to the mother and form a safe attachment.
The influence of attachment on children
Attachment plays an important role in the whole psychological development of infants. Whether a baby forms attachment with its mother or not, the nature of attachment directly affects the formation of baby's mood, social behavior, personality characteristics and basic attitude towards people.
1. brain development
At present, neuropsychological research also shows that the mother's care has an important influence on the baby's mood and psychology, and the baby's emotional experience is disproportionately stored in the brain development stage and processed in the right hemisphere. So attachment will affect the maturity of the right hemisphere of the baby's brain. Moreover, breastfeeding of mothers can increase the levels of N- methyl -D- aspartic acid (NMDA) receptor, brain-derived neurotrophic factor and synapses of infants, thus promoting the development of cerebral cortex (Schore, 200 1).
2. Academic achievements
Experts from the Institute of Child Development of the University of Minnesota conducted the most comprehensive long-term research and found that infants' attachment to their parents is closely related to their future academic performance. Their research has come to a shocking conclusion: under the condition that children's IQ is certain, the infant's attachment pattern and degree to their parents are the most obvious factors affecting their future academic performance.
3. Interpersonal communication
The healthy relationship between babies and their parents and caregivers is the basis of good interpersonal relationships in children's lives. Among infants, safe children are usually the most adaptable, that is, they are more resilient, have a good relationship with their peers and are cute, while unsafe children may have difficulties in communicating with their peers and may show aggression or retreat.
4. Intimate relationships in adulthood
Early attachment experiences will also affect our choice of partners or attachment types in future marriage and love relationships. We tend to seek the same attachment pattern as the early attachment experience, that is, to establish intimate relationships with individuals with similar attachment types to their parents or related to their own attachment relationship. That is to say, people who cultivate unsafe attachment types in infancy because of their parents' care methods will always subconsciously find those who will make them experience unsafe attachment feelings repeatedly. Therefore, bad love experiences often repeat themselves.
References:
Ann. Schor, (200 1). Effects of early relationship trauma on right brain development, emotional regulation and infant mental health. Journal of Infant Mental Health, 22 (1-2): 201–269.