In the autumn of 2004, I went to the west with a delegation of Henan writers. I first went to Gansu, strolled along the Silk Road for a few days, and then took the train from Dunhuang to Turpan. When you get off the train in Turpan, the first stop is not the world-famous vineyard, but the old town of Gaochang.

I have long heard of Gaochang ancient city. This city with a history of 1400 years is located in the open plain in front of the Flame Mountain, with an altitude of about -40 meters. It is an oasis irrigated by the river in Mutougou, named after its high terrain and prosperous population. Xuanzang, a monk, prayed for Buddha in Gaochang Western Heaven, and King Gaochang was very generous, which was an eloquent historical record as early as the Tang Dynasty.

Today's Gaochang Old Town is already a huge ruin-otherwise it wouldn't be called the Old Town. After getting off the tour bus and waiting for the tour guide to buy the ticket, I stood at the humble entrance and looked in. I can't wait to see the outline of piles of loess in the distance.

"Aunt." Someone pulled my skirt. I frowned. I wore a white dress today, which is very resistant to dirt.

Looking back, it was a typical Uighur girl. A tall nose, deep-set European eye sockets, long eyelashes, a small rose vest with a gauze skirt and a small black hat with beads. She is wearing a string of ornaments made of bells. Oh, she's selling me something. I shook my hand at her.

"Aunt." She growled again.

"What is it?" I have to answer.

"Is this your first time here?" Her mandarin is very stiff. I didn't know until I arrived in Xinjiang that the Uygur Mandarin spoken in TV sketches was not exaggerated at all.

"yes."

"Do you like it?"

"I like it."

Are you a teacher?

"I am a teacher." I'm a little surprised. I have a history of teaching in the countryside for four years, but how can she tell?

"You look like a teacher and a good person." She has a sweet mouth and is good at talking. I can't help laughing. It depends on my appearance, right? A friend once joked that I look like a good wife and mother. Good wife and mother = teacher = good person? Interesting logic. But then again, this is a simple compliment.

"You are very beautiful." She continued to attack. There is a luxury bus in the parking lot recently. Why is she still pestering me to do useless work? I'm a little worried about her. I think I'd better buy one for her.

"How much is your stuff?" I asked.

She untied the next one and handed it to me: "Here you are."

"How much is it?"

"No money."

"What?"

"No money."

Are you kidding? It is free to sell things in tourist areas. Can you deliver the goods? I ignored her and went to get my bag. She stopped me seriously: "I really don't want money."

"Then I don't want it either." I also said it very simply. Free money is the most expensive in another sense. I wouldn't do such a stupid thing.

The tour guide is already greeting everyone. I went in with the team and waved to her.

Sitting on a beautifully dressed donkey cart, we walked into the depths of the city in the dust and played for more than two hours, and I was still trying to figure it out. I saw the little girl at a glance. She stood at the exit, and Lima followed me.

"The donkey didn't trip you, did it?"

"No, thanks."

"Here you are." There she goes again.

I still don't want it. Of course not. I walked around the stall and learned the price of this bell. The highest asking price is five yuan. So, when she handed it to me again, I handed her five dollars.

"No money, no money." She said anxiously, "Here you are, here you are."

"Send me? Why? "

"Because you are a teacher and a good person."

I smiled. But to be honest, I don't believe I will have such good luck. Wise men at all times and all over the world have taught us that there will be no pie in the sky. So, I don't believe this five-dollar pie-no, it's not worth five dollars. In the final analysis, this is just a more humane way of selling: I'm sorry if you give me something for free, but I have to give you money. So, everyone is very happy. Under the soft satin, the package is still cold RMB.

"Don't be afraid, I really don't want money, really." She patiently advised me, "I often give things to my favorite guests, and today I chose you."

Afraid? What am I afraid of? Still afraid of you, little girl? I took the bell. A delicate mouse is engraved on the silver pendant. I happen to be a mouse. She saw my doubts and pointed to my chest. I'm wearing a wooden mouse-headed necklace from a friend in Gansu. This ghost elf!

"Ok, I'll take it." I said, I made up my mind to hand her the money from the window when I got on the bus.

I took a photo with her and promised to send it to her. Then I went to buy silk scarves, and she still followed me and told me what silk scarves were. I bought two at her suggestion. After buying, the tour guide began to urge me to get on the bus. She was standing outside my window when I got on the bus. We didn't know what to say, so we just giggled.

The car is moving. I said goodbye to her at the window. I took her dirty little hand and shook the money. Zheng, she understood. Tears welled up in her eyes in an instant.

"Don't! Teacher! Don't! Teacher! " She shouted for money. Then she ran after our car. The dust on the wheel washed her little face and soon covered her tears. However, more tears rushed down. Her face soon became blurred.

The driver stopped the car. Everyone in the car looked at me, and I turned my face to her with difficulty. I admit, I began to regret it the moment I saw her cry. Regret and shame.

I got off the bus and took her money. She smiled. The dusty little face smiles like a pale daisy.

"You must tell me what you like? I will also send you a present when I go home. " I said.

She refused for a long time until I threatened her not to have bells. She told me shyly that she liked stationery and books. At my request, she found a cigarette case and wrote her address on the back: Hatiya,No. XX Street, XX Village, XX Township, Turpan City, Xinjiang (receipt). Then I saw her solemnly write the words in brackets, and I wanted to be happy again. Does she think I can't write? Lovely child.

After coming back from Xinjiang, I went to the photo studio to develop photos, bought a set of fairy tales in the bookstore, bought some stationery in the stationery store and wrapped it up. I wanted to vent the address written by Hatia when I mailed it, but I couldn't find it. Finally, I sent the package. The address on the parcel is Hatiya, the ancient city of Gaochang in Turpan, Xinjiang. That's all I remember. I also know that she has little hope. But anyway, I tried my best. I don't want shame to take root in my heart. It is also my psychological burden to continue to be so shameful.

A month later, I received a big bag of raisins and a letter from Hatia. This letter is very short.

"Aunt, thank you for your gift. I am very happy. I heard many people tell me that there is a set meal for me and I have to go to many places to find the set meal list. I know you are a good man. I sent 28 bells, and you are the first person to give me a gift. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? You really look like my teacher Han. She came to us as a volunteer last year and was very supportive of our school. Then she left. I stopped going to school after she left. I think I'll never see her again. I miss her very much. I like reading and I will study hard. I think that as long as I study hard, I will become an educated person when I grow up, and I will have the opportunity to leave Gaochang and see the outside world, just like my aunt. "

Reading the letter, I froze. I suddenly understood why she must give me a gift, why she should take the teacher as the criterion for judging good people, and why she cried and shouted, "No! Teacher! " ..... It turns out that I know nothing about her: how old is she? Why do you do business outside at an early age? Why don't you have a chance to go to school? What books do you like to read? What's your dream? Oh, a girl who really gives me something, but I don't really care about her: I doubt her motivation to give me a gift. Asking for her gift is like giving it to her. Giving her a gift just doesn't want me to feel indebted ... I just do it for myself. What she gave me was really a delicious pie. This pie was made by her and her Han teacher. I am just a foodie. But I ruined this pie. I don't deserve her gratitude, and I'm not qualified to be the goal of her efforts: to be like an aunt. Like me? She wants to be like me? Is it as cold as me? Alert? Slow? Like me, I am used to perfunctory and utilitarian, no matter what.

No, don't be like me. Hattie, please don't be like me, and we-the 28 people you gave gifts to. What do those 27 people think? In their minds, they all think they are smart people who have experienced the world, right? For the first time in my life, I began to feel inferior for the so-called wisdom and experience that I have always been proud of. I just found out that although I traveled around, my sense of smell gradually turned into a huge ruin, such as Gaochang's old city. Although she is guarding the old town of Gaochang, her little heart is a pure and beautiful boundless grassland.

Of course, I know I can't do anything for Hatiya. I sent her some books and wrote a letter telling her: raisins are sweet, and I still have many books. If she can't go to school for financial reasons, I can do my best to help. I am honored to make friends with her.

Yes, dear Hatiya, I am really honored to be your friend. Because you let me taste the most delicious pie in the world in a way I don't even know-this 28th pie. Following your pie, those hibernating taste buds in my soul began to wake up one by one.