Children like to talk big, and many parents find it annoying. Some parents don't know how to educate their children to correct their mistakes in this situation. Abe Bian Xiao reminds: In fact, children like to talk big. Parents can help their children correct through many skills, such as the power of setting an example.
China people regard honesty as a virtue, and the minimum character of a person is honesty, which is what parents should teach their children. Let's see how children lie and brag with Abel Bishop.
Education case:
On Sunday, Linlin followed her mother to visit her colleague Aunt Lin. Aunt Lin has a boy named Qiang Qiang, who is one year older than Linlin. The two children had a good time. Qiang Qiang has many spelling toys. Two people spell different objects together. Whenever Lin Lin finds a model he likes, he will tell Qiang Qiang, "We also have this at home."
In addition, he also told Qiang Qiang that their family also has the latest "Harry Potter" educational toys, which Qiang Qiang envied very much.
At lunch, Qiang Qiang suddenly said to her mother, "Mom, shall we go to Linlin's house to play?" I want to see their new "Harry Potter" toy. "Linlin's mother said," we don't have this toy! ""Linlin blushed and said anxiously, "I mean dad wants to buy it for me." Qiang Qiang is very reluctant. "You mean your family has it." Lin Lin said, "I didn't say that." The two mothers soon settled their quarrel.
On the way home, Linlin's mother said, "Linlin, why do you talk big?" Why do you say there is something you don't have? "Ling ling couldn't answer, so she had to be silent. Linlin's mother doesn't understand: What is the psychological reason for children to tell such lies? It is not uncommon for children to talk big. When others say they have any brand-name products, they obviously don't, so they have to make one up to brag. Others said they saw something strange, but they didn't want to be outdone and made up stories, thinking that this would make their faces shine.
Many parents have asked the same question as Linlin's mother: "What is the psychological reason for children to tell such lies?"
This phenomenon really reflects children's complex psychological activities. Parents must not simply draw conclusions and deal with them rashly and abruptly. On the one hand, this phenomenon reflects a psychological need in children's development-to maintain and develop self-esteem, that is, to maintain and develop self-worth. This need to maintain self-esteem is reasonable, and parents should not only support it, but also constantly encourage it.
On the other hand, the younger children are, the less they will correctly realize their self-esteem needs, sometimes they will not maintain their real value, and sometimes they will even do whatever it takes. For example, junior students often raise their hands before thinking about the answer, and stand up and be tongue-tied; Some naughty students, in order to attract the teacher's attention, even take inappropriate methods such as playing pranks and violating discipline.
Linlin's boasting is to protect her self-worth, but what she pursues is wrong and the means are improper.
Therefore, when solving this kind of problem, we should not only maintain and develop his self-esteem, but also guide him to pursue the correct content and take appropriate measures to avoid "dumping the child with the bath water".
Specific suggestions:
1. Parents' role models and guidance.
Although this is a cliche, it is more difficult on this issue. Because Linlin's self-esteem is a means of pursuing vanity, which is also common among adults. Vanity is the pursuit of superficial glory. This is a superficial and hypocritical self-worth. Have a father in financial difficulties. His children don't study hard, but they are delicious and thorough. He is very upset. But after the conversation, I found that the parents actually bought a crocodile belt for their children. Others asked curiously, "How can you buy such expensive things for your children when your family is not rich?" He replied, "I can't let others look down on me." Other children have it, and my children have to have it. "
Parents' vanity was unconsciously passed on to their children. Even if parents don't do it themselves, the current social psychology will have a subtle influence on their children. Bad habits such as comparison, ostentation and extravagance, and good face actually affect everyone's tacit understanding. Therefore, parents should always take the lead to analyze various social phenomena with their children and raise their awareness from the bottom of their hearts.
2. Change "pyramid" psychology into "bonsai" psychology.
In China, an ancient country, the cultural influence of patriarchal clan system and human relations is profound, especially the emphasis on sorting permeates all aspects.
In the past, the emperor had a hierarchy from the first rank to the ninth rank, and even the heroes of Dan Liang rebelled, forming a deep-rooted "golden pagoda" mentality. Everything and every occasion should be arranged in good order, and attention should be paid to comparison. At the top of the pyramid, people are complacent, while more people can only be depressed at the bottom. How can this social psychology not affect children?
However, this kind of psychology is not in line with reality, but has greatly affected people's enthusiasm. We can get inspiration from the theory of multiple intelligences. Everyone belongs to a different intelligent structure, and it is hard to say who is tall and who is low. So why not turn the "pyramid" psychology into the "bonsai" psychology? Everyone is like a "bonsai". You are a vigorous pine tree and I am a delicate stone, each with its own characteristics and advantages. You don't need to compare, as long as you play your potential and make the greatest contribution, it is the best self-worth.
Your electronic toys are good, and my homemade toys are great. With this mentality, Linlin would not use boasting to pursue vain self-worth.