The calmness of parents is the biggest nutrient for children's growth.
We often like to compare our children with other people's children, but I don't think this is comparable. Every child is an independent individual, just like an independent tree. When every tree in the world looks the same, the glory of this world will be gone.
Family education is both difficult and difficult. I read an article two days ago that parents' calmness is the biggest nutrient for children's growth. If parents educate their children according to their own feelings, then children will have nothing to follow when they grow up. He can't figure out what he wants or how to cater to his parents' temper. If our parents can control their emotions at any time and communicate rationally with their children, then children will be able to develop a calm mood, so that children who grow up in the atmosphere can face difficulties, setbacks, failures and so on calmly.
Speaking of rules, it seems that all children obey them. As long as the rules stay there, the children will always abide by them. From the first day of primary school, my mother made a request to me: I must fold the quilt every morning and sweep the floor before I go to school, and it hasn't changed until I went to college at the age of 18. I have been sweeping the floor since I went to college, which has brought a benefit-everyone thinks I am more willing to serve my classmates, that I am a good person, and that they are willing to work with me in the end.
When it comes to family education, there are several elements. The first factor is the environmental factor of children's growth. I asked a question in many family education lectures: How many families have bookshelves at home? Second question: How many books are there on the shelf? The third question: How many parents have the habit of reading for half an hour to an hour before going to bed at night? I've done a lot of home surveys. Children who like reading will have much stronger ability to overcome setbacks in the future. He will turn the knowledge gained from books into his inner thoughts, except, of course, bookworm reading.
Someone asked what's the difference between reading a story and watching a movie? The results of repeated research show that telling stories to children, including reading stories by themselves, will better strengthen their imagination and thinking ability in images than children who only watch cartoons. I want to tell parents that this process is actually two elements. The first element is to make children like reading all their lives by exercising their reading habits. Second, it is very important to train the child's ability, which is very important for his life.
When I was three or four years old, my mother only bought me books and nothing else. My mother wants to create a reading atmosphere, so I like reading. Seeds planted by parents will take root and sprout in children. What kind of atmosphere a child grows up in and what kind of person he will become is crucial.
How much time parents spend determines how children feel about home.
We once made a survey: putting dad, mom, grandpa, grandma, computer and puppy on the boat, the boat can't bear it, so we have to throw away three things. The result of the survey is: Mom 100% stays behind-it can be seen that mom and children spend a lot of time in contact, then grandparents, maybe computers and dogs, and dad is the least.
In fact, children are the result of the education of two parents, not the mother alone. When we are with our children, we have actually conveyed our life value through our own actions intentionally or unintentionally, and children must obey their parents. It is difficult for us to find a child who can come out of a broad-minded family, and it is also difficult to find an elegant and pure child in a vulgar family.
We always talk about spending precious time for children. What is the concept of quality time? When we are with children, the most important thing is to educate them about their emotions and temperament, and to shape their healthy and happy personality, positive attitude, broad mind and indomitable spirit. How do we let children grow up in this kind of education? I always think it is much more important than knowledge education. If the child's character, personality, attitude, spirit, habits, psychology, ability, life and skills are well cultivated, even if he is the last in the class, I don't think the child will be worthless. Didn't we just graduate from college to find a good job? However, finding a good job is not the whole of life. A person with skills that can be relied on for life is a relatively perfect person.
I once went to Japan to inspect their education. First-grade children carry schoolbags, and their parents follow them, never giving them anything, and cultivating their independence from childhood. More interestingly, I chatted with kindergarten teachers, who gave their children a cold bath to exercise their health. I asked: What if the child caught a cold after taking a cold bath? Won't your parents scold you? No, the parents took the child who caught a cold in the shower and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't raise the child well." Go back and continue training until I take a cold bath and don't catch a cold. " We still have to think about how to raise children.
The most important factor that determines a child's success is not how much knowledge he has learned, but whether he can cultivate his own character.
There is a survey in the United States: What is the most important factor that determines a child's success? It's not how much knowledge we instill in children, but whether we can help children cultivate a series of important personality traits, such as perseverance, self-control, curiosity, responsibility, courage and self-confidence, which will affect their lives. Children with strong personalities are more likely to succeed.
How to cultivate perseverance? I thought of frustration education. Everyone has a different understanding of frustration education. Some parents think that the more beatings, the better their children will be. Many promising children were beaten and scolded. I was beaten and scolded when I was a child, and now I have no psychological barriers. Because every family in the countryside beat their children, it's even. Whether words or actions cause psychological obstacles and psychological harm to children, if not, it will be fine.
Rules are sometimes the same, and both the strictness of rules and the rationality of rules must be considered. When my son was about 3 years old, he wiped his nose with a napkin and threw it on the ground. I'll go home and let him get it. He threw another piece of paper on purpose. I didn't hit him either. I gave him a cotton-padded jacket and shut him out in winter. The child was scared outside and knocked at the door in five minutes. I said, what are you doing? Come back for the paper. Pick it up and throw it in the dustbin. Never throw anything on the ground again. This seriousness didn't hurt him.
Many of our children are unwilling to participate in group activities and teamwork. They are afraid of being outdone in the team. Parents need to tell their children: don't compare yourself with others, as long as you feel happy in this activity. Children should develop the mentality of comparing everything from an early age, and eventually they will be unbalanced.
I often take my son to climb mountains, climbing 1 0,700 meters and 1 0,800 meters a day, and walking 30 kilometers has nothing to do with study. I also cultivate his innovative ability. If he is interested, I will buy him a 3D printer. Honesty, integrity, responsibility, friendliness, kindness … these are the core words of my education for children. Mastering these, others are all born leaves, rooted in branches, and grades and what university they go to are not so important. This is my view on education. The growth of children needs our continuous and correct efforts. In China, 50% of parents are trying their best to love their children while destroying them.
The growth of a good child begins with paying attention to "reading parents"