What is this? Helicopter parents? ? Listen to a child's self-report: My parents are like one? Helicopter? Always hovering over my head, no matter what I do, they pay attention to me. When I was at school, there was a teacher. As soon as I left school, they started to follow up and sent me to every training class. Even if they take me out to play or play with other children, they will watch from a distance. ?

This kind of education is called. Helicopter parents? .

It is often heard that a mother gave up her high salary to take care of her children at home, made a perfect study plan for her children, and lost herself for "sacrifice"? I devote myself to the education of my children.

Whether this method is good or not, it is difficult for us to make an evaluation without exact data. Some mothers think that loving themselves well is the key, while others think that? Make sacrifices for the children? Is the greatest value of being a mother. These actually contain a lot of personal emotional factors, and few people think about problems from the perspective of children, such as: What do children need?

I have read a book called Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother, and the core idea of this book to educate children is:? To teach a child is to stare at him. The more you stare at him, the more promising the child will be in the future, because the child has no idea what he needs. Only we know what he needs. Although he looks unhappy now, he will definitely thank you in the future. ?

Lang Lang said after his success. Thanks to my dad's insistence at that time, without my dad, there would be no me today. ?

Dong Qing said after his success. Today's success is due to my father's cruelty to me. ?

These successful examples make parents more convinced that only for children? Tough? In order to cultivate promising children. Thus, gradually, such a set of intensive education was formed. In other words, parents pay more and more attention to their children, which eventually becomes a social phenomenon, causing many parents to spend 99% of their efforts in exchange for a success rate of 1%.

Second, why is there intensive education?

In today's education system in China, more than 90% of parents think that diligence is very important. Why do you think so is mainly reflected in the following differences.

1, income difference

In China, there is a big income gap between blue-collar workers and white-collar workers. In the workplace, high education is usually accompanied by high positions and high income, so they will have more opportunities for promotion and development. At the same time, because the starting point is higher, they are more likely to accept new things and their learning ability is relatively strong.

In terms of time, the same 3000 yuan a month, white-collar workers only need 40 hours a week, while blue-collar workers may need 60 hours or more. In other words, a high degree of education may not necessarily make more money, but working hours are definitely much less than a low degree. In terms of time cost, people with high academic qualifications have relatively obvious advantages.

So? Knowledge changes fate, and education can better employment? Recognized by most parents. How else can I get a high degree? Only diligence.

2. School differences

Differences between schools are also one of the reasons for parents' anxiety. According to statistics, the enrollment rate of good schools is several percentage points higher than that of poor schools, and the qualifications and education quality of teachers are relatively high.

Why do many parents want their children to enter good schools and try their best to buy school districts? Because in China, as long as you can get into a good school, the enrollment rate of senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination will be much higher than that of ordinary schools.

Therefore, diligence and good grades are the only choices to enter a good school, and entering a good school can enjoy better teaching resources and increase more possibilities for future life.

3. Cultural differences

It has just been pointed out that 90% of parents in China think diligence is very important, because the competition for employment development in China is fierce. Only 34% of parents in Japan think so, and they will pay more attention to the cultivation of children's independence.

Because the income level in Japan is generally high, there is not much difference between blue-collar workers and white-collar workers. Also, in Japan, many children inherit their father's business, and many children who have just finished high school go home to inherit their father's business, and they are also doing well, and their income will not be worse than those with higher education. So they are not as anxious about their studies as China's parents.

In Europe, parents don't pay much attention to study, but make great efforts in socializing. Have you seen Jane? Both Love and Pride and Prejudice cultivate children by riding horses, manners and socializing. Their aristocratic culture has been passed down from generation to generation, and so far, the existence of this cultural gap is quite obvious.

3. What are the general ways of parental education?

Although most parents think learning is very important, their education methods are not optimistic, which can be divided into the following categories:

1, any type

Personally, I think arbitrary parents are terrible. Will they do anything to achieve a wish? By hook or by crook, such parents basically regard their children as learning tools and have control over them? Inhumane? To the point where children are intimidated into submission with absolute power and children are only at home? Unconditional obedience? . This kind? I'm doing it for your own good? 、? Self-sacrifice? Our education makes the children breathless. Finally, there are two extremes: 1, success like Lang Lang or Dong Qing; 2. Destroy the child.

2, laissez-faire type

Children with such parents should be considered happy because there are enough parents? Indulge? , will they? Unconditional? Support children to the point of being spoiled, even if they make some? Beyond imagination? Parents will not be bound. Children who grow up in this environment are generally self-centered and lack sense of rules, so it is difficult to integrate into society in the future, and their sense of cooperation will not be too strong, and they will have their own behaviors.

3. Non-participatory

Psychologists' research shows that parents who don't participate are the worst, and they basically leave their children alone after they are born. For example, if you leave your children with the elderly, you are busy with your work, and your children will not see their parents for days or even months. The influence of this kind of parental education on children is fatal and irreversible. Children basically don't know what love is, can't feel the warmth of home, and can't feel the attention of their parents. When they grow up, they will lack the ability to love others, and they will also ignore the feelings of others. Because he grew up in a neglected environment, he habitually treated people and things around him in this way.

4. Authoritative type

This method is the most recognized educational method today, that is, parents maintain a certain dignity in front of their children, and the educational method is recognized and willing to cooperate with the children. Parents communicate with their children by reasoning and shaping their values. In this educational process, parents and children often communicate. The essence of communication is to promote the formation of children's values.

However, to become an authoritative education, parents need to have a relatively high quality, a deep understanding of education and the ability to control emotions. When it is difficult for parents to manage their emotions, it is easy to become arbitrary. If they are too relaxed, it is easy to become laissez-faire.

Therefore, the authoritative type is the combination of the two, which is the most suitable one, but it also has higher requirements for parents.

Fourth, parents should improve the direction of education and move closer to the authoritative type.

1, pay more attention to the growth of children, from the perspective of children.

Many times, individual education methods will be influenced by social environment and education system, which is what every parent wants? Let children have a happy childhood? Sometimes I can go to a good school, which seems to be no conflict, but when the surrounding learning environment and teaching resources change, I can't help but change my original intention and go with the flow. Sacrifice children's happy childhood for something more important than this, such as grades.

In the PISA of 20 15, China students' self-evaluation scores of life satisfaction rank first in the world, that is to say, our children feel very unhappy, and some even have nightmares about the college entrance examination repeatedly in adulthood, and their grades become one of the chief culprits that devour their children's happiness.

So, parents should avoid it? The first grade? A good attitude, pay more attention to the growth of children, and think from the perspective of children. When parents have a normal mind, they will move closer to authoritative parents more rationally.

2. Reduce unfair education policies.

If society can reduce some unfair education policies and reduce polarization, our parents will not be so anxious.

In the field of education, we can actually learn from Finland's education system. Finnish schools, whether public or private, are free, and students can also enjoy many free teaching resources. The school has no official ranking, and the conditions are similar to the teaching level. There is no so-called school district or selecting students through interviews. Emphasis is placed on teacher qualification training. All teachers have a master's degree or above and are trained by a unified institution.

When the whole education system becomes balanced and fair, parents' anxiety will be greatly reduced, parents' anxiety will also be reduced, and they will become more calm and patient in education.

3. Parents change the original way of education.

Parental education has a great influence on children. If parents can change the original educational concept, give their children a better education and instill good study habits in them, children can fall in love with learning independently, instead of? Forced? Or did you use some kind of? Purpose? study

To become authoritative parents, parents need to change their ideas and attach importance to the input of parenting knowledge. Only when parents understand their children's needs and psychological development can they better guide their children and play their role.

Verb (abbreviation of verb) conclusion

In a word, from the perspective of future education trends, we should be optimistic about the whole education system. Whether it is arbitrary or laissez-faire, the transition to authority is a trend, which takes time and the support of social groups. I believe that in the near future, our education system will be better and better.