With the vigorous implementation of appreciation education, many parents begin to know how to protect their children's self-esteem and cultivate their self-confidence. Treat children gently and considerate, take care of them very much, and give them more confidence. This is a good thing in itself, but many parents encourage their children no matter what they do. These practices are actually blind and are not good for children's growth. No matter how to train children, we must master the scale.

Many parents often give their children a very good affirmation after their children fail or encounter setbacks. In fact, this time is not suitable for children to praise. For a long time, the field of psychology believes that self-confidence must come from two parts: "feeling satisfaction" and "performance satisfaction", both of which are indispensable. Without the part of "expressing satisfaction", there is no effective way to teach children to "feel satisfied". Although it is pleasant to have self-confidence, it is a wrong idea to try to gain self-confidence without first achieving realistic success.

Many "gentle" parents have made such mistakes, trying to avoid hurting their children's self-esteem and self-confidence by lowering their expectations and encouraging "cheap success". For example, because the child's academic performance has regressed, the goals set by his parents are even lower; If the child does not perform well in the competition, the parents will encourage him by comparing the players who perform worse than him. The child clearly wants to express his dissatisfaction with himself, but his parents have repeatedly denied that he has tried his best ... Adults deliberately try to appease the child's lost emotions, which actually ignores the child's cognitive ability and expectation of successful performance, especially older children. It's not so easy to cheat. On the contrary, it will only make them have negative thoughts of "my parents only have low expectations for me" and "my ability is limited to this", thus hurting their self-confidence even more.

Therefore, what parents should do is not to encourage cheap success, but to express their trust and expectation for their children as always. More importantly, we should tap children's potential and teach them the right way to succeed.