Faced with this situation, many people will say that "children are still young" and "decision-making ability is not enough", but in fact, if you carefully observe the way this type of children get along with their parents, you will find that in fact, many times it is not children who rely on their parents blindly, but more often parents tend to "do everything" for their children.
Many times, when children are unwilling to think independently and face difficulties, we always say that they have no opinions.
In fact, what is the performance of children who have no opinions?
1, lack of curiosity when growing up.
For ordinary children, at this growing age, they should be full of curiosity about things unknown to the outside world, and they often have richer and stronger exploration demands than adults. But for those children who lack their own opinions, they will not have a very keen attitude towards the unknown, but the familiar environment can bring them more sense of security. Therefore, compared with other children, such children lack curiosity in the process of growing up.
2. Get used to following other people's decisions
For children who have no opinion, many things in life are based on their parents' decisions, so when they need to face their own choices, they are often more willing to give them to their parents.
When they start to enter the campus and their parents can't stay with them all the time, their decisions often change from relying on their parents to relying on teachers or some close friends. For themselves, they can't judge a thing from their own perspective.
3. Lack of confidence in dealing with people.
In the process of getting along with children, you will find that some cheerful and lively children dare to make decisions about everything, and the self-confidence that such children exude in the process of getting along with others is also very obvious.
Similarly, for those children who lack their own opinions, they often don't make simple and neat decisions, mostly because they are not confident in themselves, fearing that this decision will be wrong or should not be like this. So they will be more hesitant, leading to the loss of self-confidence.
It can be seen that the lack of autonomy will have a very negative impact on a growing child, sometimes it will not only affect the child's interpersonal communication, but even affect the child's personality.
So, why don't children have their own opinions? Limitation of self-care ability
In many families, children can be said to be the top priority of the whole family, so the status of children in the family can be imagined. It is precisely because of this that some children naturally become "little emperors" at home, and parents also "tolerate" their children's incorrect behavior on the pretext that they are still young.
Over time, the development of children's self-care ability will be limited. In children's minds, they will think that parents should do this.
It is precisely because of this that children will develop the idea of relying on their parents for help in everything.
For many parents, in their eyes, children are always children, and some housework is too complicated for them. Many things that were originally children's own, parents will do them one by one.
For a long time, children who grew up in such an environment often lacked certain independence compared with children of the same age. In life, they are more inclined to rely on their parents' care and help them make decisions, which makes them lack their own opinions.
As children grow up, in fact, many things are not that children won't do it, but that they don't want to do it because they know their parents will help them finish it.
Children with this idea will gradually lose their enterprising spirit and be replaced by the formation of lazy thoughts.
Parents always scold or even beat and scold lazy children, but they never think that their lazy character is created by their own "tolerance".
But it is true that for children, sometimes faced with some difficult things, there will be difficult choices, and it is really difficult to solve them by themselves.
At this time, what should parents do to help their children solve problems without exposing them to the risk of having no opinions?
What should parents do to make their children independent?
1, let children learn to think independently.
In the process of children's growth, a very important thing they need to learn is whether to learn to think independently. For children, learning to think constantly in life will not only have a very good positive impact on their study, homework or life.
When a child faces a difficult problem, as a parent, you should first give the child time to think independently. No matter whether the solution proposed by your child is right or wrong, you should patiently encourage your child to speak his mind and then correct his way.
In this way, children can subconsciously think about themselves when they encounter choices, and at the same time, they can be taught how to do it more appropriately.
2. Teach children to refuse help appropriately.
We often teach our children how to help others, but few parents take the initiative to teach their children how to refuse, so even fewer parents let their children know how to refuse help.
Many times, helping someone is a friendly move, but the extremes meet. Too much help will make children fall into the fog, which will eventually lead to their lack of self, thus becoming indecisive.
Therefore, in the education of parents to their children, parents should also teach their children how to refuse others' help under what circumstances, and at the same time, parents should set a good example for their children to do their own things.
3. Encourage children to put forward ideas.
The growth of every child should be accompanied by flowers and applause. For children, encouragement in the process of growing up is very important. Many parents worry that giving their children too much praise will make them complacent, but in fact, correct praise can be a catalyst for their progress.