Identity refers to the individual's confirmation of himself in the process of pursuing self-development, as well as his thinking and choice of some important issues, such as ideals, careers, values and outlook on life.
In the process of identity formation, teenagers begin to think: "Who am I?" "What do I want to be?" In the process of these thoughts, my body and mind have undergone stormy changes. /kloc-after 0/8 years old, I gradually stabilized, formed identity and stabilized my personality.
Generally speaking, the formation process of adolescent identity is actually the gradual formation process of personality.
Therefore, the public's understanding of adolescent children, adolescent rebellion, adolescent chaos and so on can all be attributed to the formation of identity. We can even say that a child with a successful identity will never have puberty problems.
Positive identification helps children to establish an optimistic personality; Negative identity will form a dangerous anti-social role that society does not recognize. The significance of identity to life is self-evident.
So in the process of identity formation, what factors are affected?
First, the influence of cognitive development level.
Everyone has a different level of cognitive development. The research shows that teenagers who firmly grasp formal computing thinking and think in a complex and abstract way are more likely to develop identity than teenagers who are not mature in cognition.
Therefore, generally speaking, children with higher cognitive development level and children who are good at complex abstract thinking are more advanced in identity development.
Those teenagers who have not developed good cognitive habits before puberty and are prone to impulsiveness and recklessness are often prone to encounter obstacles in identity development.
Second, the distance between parents.
Family is a very important environment for the formation of children's personality. The distance between children and their parents directly affects the formation of adolescent identity.
This is easy to understand. In a family with estranged parents and children, children naturally don't want to have too much communication and contact with their parents, even they don't want to ask their parents for advice, let alone have mature thinking like their parents. Then, in such a parent-child relationship, how can children form their own better safety structure?
For example, the 17-year-old boy who committed suicide by jumping into the river has a good relationship with his parents?
On the other hand, if the relationship between children and their parents is very good, they are willing to communicate with their parents about everything, seek their parents' opinions and listen to their suggestions when they encounter something, then is it easier for children to think more, better and more comprehensively about the issue of identity?
Therefore, in adolescence, it is better to establish a good relationship with children than to have a headache for their adolescence. Closely related, all problems are not problems.
Third, the way of education.
Parental rearing patterns also deserve separate explanation.
In the process of forming adolescent identity, parents' parenting style has a great influence on their children's personality.
Take the 17-year-old boy who committed suicide by jumping into the river. There are various articles on the Internet to discuss their family upbringing. Tragedy happened. What experiences and lessons can the public learn from tragic events?
A violent growing environment and a warm growing environment, which do you prefer if you are a child?
I advocate the educational principle of positive discipline: kindness and firmness. Yes, kind and firm.
There is the warmth of home, the gentleness and kindness that a mother should have, and the firmness of principle that she should have.
Smart family, smart parents, choose smart parenting style.
Fourth, peer groups get along and establish friendship.
Research shows that it is becoming more and more important to get along with peers and establish friendship during adolescence.
They gradually have a new understanding of the meaning of making friends. They think that friends should be frank, reasonable, care about each other and keep secrets. They believe that whether the agreement between partners and friends is finally reached is a very important standard to measure friendship. They may associate with several friends at the same time, because a companion may only be satisfied with ta's interest.
During this period, the friendship between boys is stronger, and the friendship between girls tends to be more gentle and delicate. Therefore, partner is a very important part of the identity formation factors in this period.
I usually advise parents in this period to pay close attention to the quality of their children's partners. After all, too many teenagers commit crimes because of their partnership. And if we adults recall this period of our own, we should also be able to clearly recall that during this period, the influence of our peers was good and bad.
Respect children's peer relationship and friendship, but it is necessary to do some control.
Fifth, the school, society and wider social background.
Children are in the process of socialization from the beginning of school. In the process of identity formation, teenagers must be in the background of socialization, whether it is family, society or school.
Meng Mu's "Three Movements" exist, and the socialized environment that is more in line with his family education concept should also be given priority.
In the process of forming children's identity, what parents can do is these external factors, and others can only accompany them and wait for the formation of children's identity. When ta finally sums up "Who am I" and "What kind of person I want to be" through constant trying and thinking, it is the formation of children's sense of identity and a sign that children can be independent.