In the fast-paced life now, it is difficult to play parent-child games with children and speak freely. Many times, when I let him play alone, or accompany him, I hold my mobile phone! Children actually need adults to accompany them! Labeling children is my biggest regret. I often compare a good boy with him, like what to learn. This actually hurts his self-esteem, and it will make him feel inferior after a long time!
This chapter learned how to raise children. First of all, we must determine our own goals, establish a good cooperative relationship with our children, set an example for our children with our words and deeds, and help them grow up! When children grow up, learn to listen to their thoughts! Sometimes I often impose my ideas on my children, and sometimes he will resist! Now that you have learned, you should encourage your children to make their own choices and learn from them! As long as it is safe, you can let him try his own ideas, sometimes cooking for me and sometimes boiling water for me! Give children more independence!
When children make mistakes, what they really need is to listen, accept and understand! Instead of scolding him, he will have better communication with you! Just like today, Zhang Yifan left his newly bought pencil case in the reception room, only to find that when he got home, he cried and told me in a low voice, I didn't catch it clearly first, I know, at this time, he was afraid, and I didn't blame him, but listened to him patiently and went to find it with him! On the way, I told him: if you can't find it, continue to use the old one! It is most effective to reason with him at this time! Therefore, if the child makes a mistake, don't scold him and punish him at the first time, but learn to listen and then analyze the seriousness of the matter to guide him. The child is more willing to open his heart to you! Understand the real needs behind children to have a good solution!
A child's sense of security comes from your respect for him and listening to his inner thoughts! Every child has his own unique personality, find out his advantages, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, and encourage him to find a suitable learning method! Establish sincere contact with children and understand their real needs and interests! Coincidentally, my husband gave us the first family meeting last night, which I thought was quite good. The family speaks freely, supervises each other, puts forward opinions, and studies and corrects mistakes together! He also said that there would be a family meeting once a week.
In daily life, I often give my children material things, thinking that what I buy for him is my love for him! And ignoring language is the most important thing! I often ignore what my children have done for me. The child's contribution is very simple, maybe a hug and a kiss! This is the best gift for me, but sometimes when I grow up, I will dislike him and feel sticky, which hurts his efforts! Communication with children, language is really important! Learn giraffe language, express and listen! As the book says, when I called, the children were making noise and making trouble. I will say to him in a reprimanding tone: Why are you such a poor child? And now this book has taught me how to answer! You can make an executable request! This makes children more willing to change.
As children grow up, we should also keep learning and growing. At the same time, establish a cooperative relationship with the child, make decisions together when encountering problems, solve problems together, cultivate his cooperation ability and enhance his self-confidence! Learn to meet our own needs and help our children meet their own needs in the process of growing up, so that our bad emotions will be reduced and we will be closer to our children! The best way to solve contradictions is to learn to be calm, not impulsive, loudly criticize and abuse children! You learn to grow, and your children will learn to grow!
Use the giraffe's language more than the jackal's language in the family, and there will be fewer quarrels between couples! Love for children will be more! Many times, between people, it is because of the wrong tone and way of speaking that unnecessary quarrels are brought! Have a broad mind and vision, and listen to the feelings and needs of others! Have a grateful heart, accept the love of everyone in your family, and treat others with a grateful heart, and you will gain more! The giraffe culture is introduced in detail, and how to better manage the relationship in the family and handle your emotions! Benefit a lot!
Learning how to interpret judgment as a need has taught me to put myself in the other person's shoes, feel the other person's needs, and feel my own needs, so that I can have a heart-to-heart relationship with the other person and be peaceful! In this section, the idea of generating anger is described in detail. In the future, you can refer to what you are angry about, make appropriate adjustments or let others make changes, so that you can live a peaceful life! Clear 7 keys and learn one by one!
After learning so much, I feel that the effect of establishing contact is particularly good. Children need to feel his needs more than criticize him endlessly! Only in this way will he be willing to open his heart to communicate! In the past, "should …" and "must …" were always used. Children should have their own suitable choices! When you want to be angry, learn to connect with your feelings! Non-violent communication has given me specific skills, and my bad temper is getting less and less. Even if there is, you should learn to control it, and you will gradually apply what you have learned in the future!