Perhaps, just like the name of this book, teach with your heart and start with your heart. ...
When I first got this book, I had some doubts. It seems to be a book about family education, but after careful reading, it is found that spiritual education, whether it is family education, school education or teacher's education for children, is very enlightening and thought-provoking.
Reading a good book is like talking to a wise man.
The author of this book is Li Chongjian, a well-known parent-child tutor in Taiwan Province Province. When I read it, I sometimes have an illusion, as if this wise man was sitting opposite me, whispering his feelings to me. The language in the text is kind and natural, with real cases, which not only touches people's hearts, but also causes readers to think about cases, with endless meanings.
Reading the whole book deeply shocked me. The children I have seen are similar to those in the article. I didn't handle the problem well, and the book gave the best advice. This book is like a kind of spiritual yoga, which can make you calm down, unconsciously sink into it and find your own shadow. Accompanied by tea and music, when I closed this book, what I felt most was the author's purpose of treating children from beginning to end-acceptance and love.
There are many "problem children" in the book, such as "Furong", "Nannan" and "Spruce" ... each one is related to a tree, just like a seedling, which will grow into a towering tree in the future. I think this must be an alias. These names are so beautiful that the author has such a gentle and loving heart. When I saw their examples, I couldn't help admiring the author's methods. Everything he said is a positive guidance to children and has his own intention. I'm thinking, what should I do if this happens to me? I thought about it and began to blame myself. Because I have met similar children, similar problems, and the way I used to deal with them, now it seems how undesirable and inappropriate.
What moved me most was the case of spruce. As a primary school teacher, although I have never been in contact with high school students, there are still children with similar problems among primary school students. When reading this story, I thought of a student in my class. ...
At present, he is the head teacher and Chinese teacher of Grade Three. There is a little girl in my class, who is very obedient and smart. The fly in the ointment is that she doesn't concentrate and occasionally doesn't do her homework. Once, she really made me angry. She didn't do her homework. When I asked her why, she told me the answer. These four-word answers instantly ignited my anger. In the past few years of teaching, I naturally met students who didn't do their homework, and I naturally understood that I wasn't really angry with students. But every child who doesn't do his homework will unconsciously find a reason to appease the teacher. Some reasons may be "I forgot what my homework is", others may be "I forgot to do my homework while playing" ... For various reasons, a beautiful lie will always be woven. She didn't. She whispered, "I don't want to write."
She doesn't want to write. The sound of four words is very small, but hitting the floor is really too much. Somehow, her words hurt me at once. I was furious and said to her angrily, "If you don't want to write, then you don't have to write." I'll change it if you want to write in the future. I won't force you if you don't want to write. "She looked at me with wide eyes and tears in her eyes. I criticized and educated her to reflect on herself. Afterwards, I began to wonder why I was so angry. Perhaps, "I will turn my heart to the bright moon". Her ignorance and disrespect deeply hurt my heart. The next day, she handed in her homework and I slowly put it down. I didn't think of her until I saw this example in the book.
The spruce in the book is a high school boy who is rebellious and tired of learning. He is addicted to games every day and feels hopeless at home. This is naturally not the reason why I contact my classmates. When I saw this case, I was thinking, how can such a boy, like a stubborn hard ice, melt the hard ice? It's too difficult ... Miss Li did it. He first understands the situation, and then asks his wishes, so that he can accept himself again, realize the significance of change and be willing to change. From beginning to end, there is not a word that denies the child. However, will the result be so smooth?
No, spruce lasted a few days. Because of illness, I returned to my previous state after illness. All this was expected by the author. Facing spruce's remorse, tell him it's normal, and help him face up to his emotions and rebuild his motivation. Since then, spruce has changed, and what impressed me more is yet to come. Later, when he had a conflict with his mother, he advised her to calm down and talk to him from beginning to end in the face of her scolding and criticism. After angrily persuading her to leave, he made a move, bravely walked behind her and hugged her, saying to her, "Mom, I'm sorry, I love you very much. I know you are in poor health because of me. I'm already changing. You can supervise me! " The mother froze when she heard this, then turned around, fell into her son's arms and began to cry. ...
I was almost moved to tears. A child who felt hopeless at first can be so warm and considerate. And all this is due to the author. Reality is never as perfect as TV. Although spruce began to change, there was not enough time. He was not admitted to the ideal school. But as the author said, "A positive person knows how to make himself valuable, meaningful and responsible." It doesn't matter if you fail the exam. Spruce melts the hard ice in the heart and really breaks through the clouds and grows up like a fir tree. ...
So I thought of the little girl and my own handling method, and I couldn't help feeling guilty. If time can go back, I really want to cross this shallow river, go to her and ask her again, "son, why don't you want to do your homework?" Can you tell me the real reason? " Then what kind of answer will she tell me, will she be scared by my bad words again, and will she have those tearful eyes again?
The happiness of educators lies in smelling the flowers along the way. The burden of educators also lies in the fact that this road cannot be repeated and has a long way to go. How can I face my children if I don't study? How can I face my dream if I don't study?
In Mr. Li's book, the most talked about is how to use the "Satya model" to deal with problems, and what makes me gain a lot is how to deal with my emotions. Compared with when I first taught, I think I am mature now, because I am no longer angry with students. As everyone knows, emotions are not repressed, but must be faced squarely. When we have a bad mood, we should give ourselves some pause and time to create a small space to examine ourselves.
Why should you suppress your emotions? Are you afraid of being worried by your family? Are you afraid of being laughed at? Or do you feel that your emotions should not be? Born in the world, there are already many difficulties in itself, which invisibly puts shackles on yourself. When you are angry, tell yourself not to be angry, when you are sad, tell yourself to overcome it, and when you are angry, tell yourself to be calm ... think carefully, people have joys and sorrows. When the mood comes, the best way is to face it squarely, embrace yourself and don't suppress it. So in the face of children's emotions, do we begin to suppress them before listening? ..... Think of these, I can't help but broke out in a cold sweat.
I remember Mr. Wei Shusheng once said, "Every child's heart is a grand world." Teacher Li also said, "Every child deserves to be treated well." It is true that a teacher is an important mentor in a child's life, not only in learning, but also in spirit. Acceptance and love are the most important nutrients for seedlings to bloom. There are too many words in the book, not just a few words I wrote. The dialogue with Li Chongjian, a wise man, is not limited to the book. His teaching and enlightenment will benefit me for life. ...
Education is a kind of practice. How can we talk about people without cultivating ourselves first?
I hope we can move forward forever and don't forget your initiative. After all, what a beautiful scenery lies ahead. ...