This is the general experience of the boss after my sister was born. I gave birth to a penis when the boss was three years old. The boss is very clingy. He didn't want to be with anyone since he was a child, except me It is conceivable how uncomfortable he is about the arrival of his spoiled sister. From the beginning, the boss cried and wouldn't let me put my sister to sleep. I asked my sister if she could keep saying that her sister was born so cute. When her sister cries, she will say, Mom, give her a hug. When my sister was nursing, he lay beside me silently, and he would never drag me away again. After 9 months, the boss finally got used to this small life. I don't know whether this time is long or short. All I know is that my method has worked. Looking back, in addition to applying online methods, I also created some new methods according to the actual situation.
1. Accept your child's emotions. This method is a cliche. What I want to say here is that it is not good to accept this child blindly, because at first his attitude towards this "uninvited guest" Bauer was that he couldn't wait to get rid of him. Because of his emotions, how could he be willing to let you take care of Bauer? So on the basis of acceptance, I want to tell him that I want to take care of my sister, no matter how he cries. Then let him make a request, and I'll try my best to meet it. Once, he pulled me to stop me from putting my sister to bed. I took him to a bedroom where we were the only ones, locked the door and asked him: What do you want mom to do? At first, he was very angry with me and didn't want to talk. I told him that if you don't talk, I won't understand. He told my sister to be coaxed when she cried, and not until she stopped crying. I said yes. As a result, he calmed down. Later, his sister cried and others couldn't coax him, so he agreed to let me coax him.
2. Like a lot. The biggest and smallest gap comes from the whole family's care and love for the newborn. So at this point, I have been paying attention to Dabao's emotions, often exaggerating Bao's independence and understanding. When Dabao teases her sister, I will say to her: You see how much my brother loves you, and my brother will Doby her more. And I ignored the jealousy and hostility shown by Dabao.
3. Don't share it forcibly, and help protect Dabao's toys. After Bauer learned to climb, he often saw his brother playing and wanted to "grab" his brother's toys. I never persuaded him to marry his sister. Sometimes my brother ignores "protecting toys". I will quickly take the toy away before Bauer meets her brother's toy, replace it with her own toy, or just pick her up. When my brother saw that I would keep the toys for him, my hostility was not so great when my sister played with him. At the same time, I will also ask, brother, which toy do you want to share with your sister? Every time he chooses one for his sister from the toy box.
4. Positive guidance demonstration. Our brother is a child with zero social skills and can't express his feelings. He often pushes his sister when she comes for toys, or pushes her too hard. In this case, some parents will think that the boss bullies the weak and immediately stand up for justice, which will often aggravate the hostility of the boss to the second child. I believe that the boss loves the second child in his heart, but he won't express it. For example, if my sister grabs toys, I won't always watch the toys for the boss, because after all, there will be many scenes where brother and sister play independently, and his sister will often covet his toys. I sometimes ask him, what do you think will stop my sister from getting that toy? I'll teach him to put his hands up so that his sister can't reach them. The way to kiss his sister is to hug her hard, basically every time until her sister is about to cry. After several gentle obstacles, there was no improvement, and once he was directly used as a demonstration. I said that my sister likes to touch her head gently like this, and she also likes to kiss her face gently. It was really gentle at that time.
Although all the methods I use are effective, children are dominated by emotional brains after all. So don't fantasize about what can be done once and for all. This is a protracted war. The boss is in a good mood these two days, and all his brothers, friends and sisters respect him. If he is in a bad mood for two days in a row, he will find fault. Adults are in a bad mood every day, let alone children. Therefore, the above methods should be used frequently. If you persist for a long time, the correct way of getting along will be internalized in your child's mind.
There is a bottom line that we must remind ourselves more: examples speak louder than words. That is, if you think your child is not doing well, you must demonstrate it to your child in person instead of preaching blindly. This is what I saw in Wen Jiao Da Zi, which is the principle to guide children's learning. I found that this principle can be applied to all education of children.
Although the second child had a chicken flying like a dog, when night fell, everything was calm, and it was still very happy to see the two babies lying safely beside him. The road is blocked and long, keep on cheering! [Laughter]