In the process of growing up, everyone is imagining how to educate him better when he has children. It seems that we have learned enough lessons in our own growth process, and we firmly believe that we can educate our children well.
But when you really have a child, you find that you are still confused about all this, especially how to treat the child, whether to raise the child to cultivate his independence or to love the child and let him live in the warmth of the family?
Educational psychology has a specific concept of children's overall psychological development, that is, to establish an overall life background for children. What is the overall life background?
Simply put, it is an environment that will never change. When you were one year old, you decided to pamper your children. Then when you are 1 1 years old, you should adopt this pampering method as before. Don't change your attitude towards children in the middle, and it is best not to have a big change in the family environment and family atmosphere. This long-term and stable overall life background is conducive to children's correct cognition and correct three views.
Always treating children like pets will lead to children living in the background of pets for a long time. This kind of child is obedient and enterprising. On the surface, he seems to be an excellent child.
Mentally, I will feel pressure on the restraint and control of my parents, and sometimes I will make rebellious moves and try to have conflicts with my family to gain autonomy; Because of the care of their families, their growth trajectory is relatively smooth, and various requirements are particularly easy to be met, so their personality is more arrogant;
In the face of setbacks, the ability to resist pressure is not strong, the mood will be agitated, vulnerable to blows, and the mood will become unstable accordingly; In the process of contact with others, if others refuse their own demands, they will become rude and aggressive.
Children have been treated in a stocking way, which leads to children being kept in the background for a long time. This kind of child is independent, sensible and precocious, and has his own set of logic. On the surface, he seems to be a very strong child.
Psychologically, because their parents are away for a long time, they will be fragile, sensitive and easy to feel inferior. They have strong self-esteem in the process of contacting others and are unwilling to lag behind others.
In the process of getting along with others, they are selfish, lack the sense of teamwork and are used to being alone. When faced with setbacks, they seldom ask others how to solve them. They all solve their own problems, keep their distance from others or deliberately please others.
In educational psychology, these two methods are not conducive to children's education. Establishing a complete and harmonious life background is to give children a cognition, and gradually form their three views on the basis of constantly strengthening and guiding their cognition. So what should parents do in this process?
First of all, you should set a goal for your child, a long-term goal, a goal of what kind of person you want him to be. Then in the process of his growth, take him as the main body and take him as the individual. From his point of view, accompany him and guide him to work towards this goal, instead of controlling him strongly and letting him think for himself.
The role of parents should be changed from a leader to a guide, and then communicate with him constantly in the process of achieving the goal, so that his own three views can be continuously learned and deepened, instead of blindly instilling and simply preaching.