As parents, they have an innate love for their children, which is shared by Chinese and American parents. The difference is that our expressions are different. China people are more subtle and inner, and sometimes this kind of love is a bit heavy; Americans are straightforward, outgoing and romantic.
I want to talk about the different views of Chinese and American parents from two aspects: First, the question of children's ownership: do children belong to themselves or their parents? In our country, there is no doubt that children belong to their parents, just like other things in the family, they are the private property of their parents, and everything depends on them; In America, children are independent individuals. They belong to themselves. They have their own preferences, choices, privacy and social circles. Second, limited liability and unlimited liability: I quote the enterprise form. In our country, the responsibility of parents to take care of their children is unlimited: from the birth to adulthood, parents almost cover everything for their children, cooking, washing clothes, cleaning the room, and accompanying their children to read (various remedial classes, learning piano, etc.). ), and sometimes even pack all the homework and bring it in to accompany the children in various classes on weekends. Thinking about how to save money for children to go to college, go abroad, get married, raise children and so on. When parents are doing all this, we are also willing to do it. Our life's hope is that children can have a good future and good development. All parents' personal ambitions, hopes, wishes, etc. Put it all on your own children. By the time all this is over, my parents' youth is gone. Of course, as parents, we naturally have a kind of psychology. When I am old, your filial piety and care for me will make me feel that my children are not well taken care of, and I will be unhappy. I'm not saying that children should not be filial to their parents and take care of them. But an idea or mentality. When I talked to Americans about this problem, they were puzzled: Why? Don't parents have their own lives, hobbies and pursuits?
In America, parents have limited responsibilities to their children. Parents will not take care of everything for their children, but children must also take on some housework. For example, set the table, do your own laundry, mow the lawn, etc. The travel expenses before going to college may also be given by parents, but it does not mean that parents must provide them. Children can earn money by working on their own (at school and in society), or they can work at home by themselves, and their parents pay them. When I 18 years old, I will go to college, and my parents will give me tuition, but both parents and children understand that this is not something my parents have to give me. In fact, many parents don't give it. Children rely on scholarships and jobs to get their tuition. Few American college students work while studying, and many have to work two jobs. Parents' unlimited responsibility for their children is education. What should they educate? The first is to let children know their own value. The second is to let children know that they must manage themselves. The third is to teach children enough sexual knowledge to make them feel at ease when their bodies change. Fourth, help children accept a firm set of social norms-respect and discipline.
In our traditional concept, we think that the United States is a very democratic place, and students are free to attend classes. From my experience in the United States, it is not exactly what we thought, and the school has very strict discipline requirements. For example, the boys' and girls' dormitories in Heimenshan High School are two separate buildings, and boys must get permission from teachers and parents to enter the girls' building. If you enter without permission, please ask your parents and check out. Every school has a code of conduct for students. At the beginning of the new semester, the school should organize parents and students to learn the Code of Conduct for Students, and sign agreements with students and parents to implement the Code of Conduct for Students. Once the students and parents sign the agreement, it shows that the students and parents agree with the requirements of the school and are willing to bear the consequences of violating the regulations.
The general Code of Conduct for Students includes the following main contents: First, the attendance and leave system; Second: examination room discipline; Third: classroom discipline requirements; Fourth: dress code; Fifth, the requirements for students to use mobile phones, BP machines and tape recorders; Sixth: the requirements of sexual behavior; Seventh: all kinds of prohibited behaviors, such as fighting, gangs, smoking, carrying weapons, stealing, etc. The Code of Conduct also clarifies the possible consequences of students violating these regulations. For example, go to school on Saturday, invite parents, suspend classes for a week, transfer schools, etc.
Because China and the United States have different cultural traditions and social environments, no one can copy anyone's specific practices, but different concepts or mentality determine our attitudes and practices in the process of educating children, because different attitudes and practices will produce different educational effects.
The American view of parents can enlighten us: treat children equally as an independent individual from an early age and give them due respect and understanding.
There are some surveys and statistics worthy of our parents' consideration: a survey on the current situation of family education in 700 households in Changzhou, Jiangsu Province: "Parents of people who dislike the most account for 54.4%". 90% of my parents' 500 articles in Hunan People's Broadcasting Station expressed their dissatisfaction with their parents. 90% teenagers in Shanghai are dissatisfied with their parents, and 70% students think that their parents don't know themselves. 34% people don't like their home. Shanghai survey: 86.4% are confused about children's education, 15% are confused and distressed. According to a survey of 1242 families conducted by Beijing Institute of Education, 70% of children are not well educated at home. Why do so many children dislike their parents? I think the key lies in their educational ideas and methods. From this perspective, how to be a parent and how to be a good parent requires us to study hard for a lifetime.
Second, cultivating children's self-confidence is the primary task of family education.
Self-confidence is the first key to success. Self-confidence plays a cornerstone role in the development of a person's life, whether intellectually or physically, or in communication and dealing with people. A confident, optimistic, enterprising, proactive, courageous to try and willing to face challenges. The premise of cultivating children's self-confidence is that parents treat their children as an independent individual and give them due respect and understanding. Self-confidence is the psychological basis for children to stand on their own feet and learn to be responsible for themselves. In the process of contact with American children, I am observing the differences between them and our children. American children are active, optimistic, curious, willing to try, work hard and use their brains.
The performance of our children: wait and see, lack of interest, dare not try, can not bear hardships, refused to use their brains.
What is the reason? There are different ways of family education: First, Americans encourage their children more than they protect them, but we often overprotect them. We encourage them to make various attempts, cultivate their abilities, interests and, most importantly, build their self-confidence. Our overprotection leads to children's dependence on their parents, which makes them doubt or lose their correct understanding and evaluation of their self-worth and ability. Everything has to wait for their parents. Parents are afraid that their children will be injured and bullied. Many parents think that dangerous and dirty things or activities will not let their children play. Second: Americans guide their children more than instill them. "I think ... would it be better? My suggestion is ... do you want to hear my opinion? " Wait, this is the way American parents often talk to their children. "You are still young, listen to mama of. Why didn't you listen to me when I asked you to do this? Wrong, don't listen to the old man's eyes. " Wait, this is the way our parents often talk to their children. Guidance will inspire children to think, and then make judgments on the basis of thinking, which may be right or wrong. This is the process of growing up. Instilling is only a passive acceptance for children, which will bind their self-confidence. Third: Americans demand everything from their children, and we often regard learning as a substitute for everything. Fourth, the role of parents' language. "Idiot, you can't even know this." "You see whose children are better than you." "How many times have I told you? I just can't remember." Go to school and take care of other things. After all we've done for you, how could you? "You can read the book well, which is the best reward for your parents." These words that our parents often talk about have intentionally or unintentionally affected or even destroyed the establishment of children's self-confidence.
The enlightenment of American family education is that respect and understanding are the soil for cultivating self-confidence, and encouragement and guidance are the best nutrients for cultivating self-confidence.
Third, enthusiastically participate in children's activities and grow up with children.
American families attach great importance to training children to participate in various community activities in the community or school from an early age. Parents are participants, organizers and service providers of children's activities. For example: 1, the University of California playground weekend primary school football match, only the referee is the teacher. 2. The meaning of parents' committee: Unlike China's middle school parents' committee, California's middle school parents' committee is organized by parents voluntarily, and a student association has a parents' committee. Therefore, there may be several or even dozens of parent committees on campus. Parents' committee has a special and irreplaceable position and role in students' education and management. Although the school attaches great importance to student associations, it has different characteristics from our country in the management of associations. The school only provided instructors, basic equipment and start-up funds when the association was established according to the report submitted by the association. Once the club is established, all the work is done by the students and parents' committee. The parents' committee is composed of some parents who are enthusiastic about students' education. They are completely voluntary, and the division of labor within the Committee is clear. Generally speaking, schools will not interfere with the work of parents' committees unless the parents' committees exceed their terms of reference or there is something wrong with the accounts of the association. The parent committee has the following functions: 1. Organizational function: assist students to organize and arrange various performances or competitions, training and other outing activities of the club. 2. Educational function: By organizing various activities of the community, we can cultivate students' team spirit and fighting spirit, learn to respect others, and learn how to raise funds. 3. Fundraising function: The operating expenses of student associations are mainly solved through charity sale, fund-raising activities and fund-raising, which are all completed by parents' committees or students under the guidance of parents. Although the members of the parents' committee are very busy, they are proud of serving the community and the school. This way greatly mobilized the enthusiasm of parents, reduced the burden of school management, formed a very harmonious home-school education force, and created favorable conditions for the healthy growth of students.
A fund-raising activity called "International Art Festival" organized by the parents committee of Artos High School Art Club. Activities are held on campus, and the school only provides venues for activities. All other activities are undertaken by students of the school art troupe and members of the parents' committee. The activity includes three contents: (1) showing students' paintings and calligraphy works in class; (2) Student dance teams and orchestras perform in the playground respectively; (3) Surrounded by enthusiastic parents' committee members, there are 12 food supply stalls with different styles (such as Japanese food, Mexican food, German food, China food, etc. ), rich in decoration, highlighting ethnic and regional themes, quite interesting. The planning, implementation and main participants of this activity are students and parents of the Art Troupe. The school only sent one teacher to do the coordination work. All the food and drinks that you are invited to taste are provided by parents free of charge, and parents who participate in the activities have to buy tickets, which are 6 dollars for adults and 4 dollars for children. The income from these tickets will become the activity funds of the art troupe. It is estimated that this activity can raise about 2000 dollars. At the scene, I interviewed the parents of two students who participated in the activity and exchanged views on the issues I was interested in. For example, are you willing to participate in such activities? Parents expressed their great willingness to participate in these activities, on the one hand, to support and encourage their children to better participate in the activities of the art troupe and learn more; On the other hand, I also hope to do something for the school, because my children like this school very much, and the school does provide many opportunities for their development, so it is the pride of parents to serve the school. How to treat parents buying tickets to participate in activities? Parents told us that it is natural for parents to invest some money for their children to participate in the activities of the art troupe. The whole family spent a total of 16 dollars (parents and younger brother) to watch the children's performances, which is not a great burden for them, but if every parent does this, the children of the art troupe will have enough funds to organize activities, which parents should do. For another example, what is your attitude towards children's participation in club activities? Parents said with great certainty: resolutely support and encourage children to participate in club activities as much as possible when time and energy allow.
Parents may think that because American universities are better than ours and there is less competition, children can participate in various club activities. There are more than 2000 universities in America. There are so many candidates in the United States, but the competition between the United States and China to go to college is so fierce. This is their advantage, but it is not so easy to get into a good university.
There are four requirements for college entrance in the United States: SAT score (applying for the authoritative examination of American universities), four-year academic performance in high school, record of club activities, and recommendation from teachers or principals. It's not easy to get an A in high school for four years.
Enlightenment to us: First, support, affirm and help children. Second: Parents know their children's channels. Third: the role of the consistency of home-school education.
Fourth, responsibility education.
Americans attach great importance to the responsibility education for children, starting from childhood and starting from small things. Parents attach great importance to their children's high school graduation ceremony. They think this is the symbol and starting point for children to become adults and go to society, so the graduation ceremony is very grand. Every student has more than a dozen relatives and friends, including parents, to attend the graduation ceremony. After the school graduation ceremony, every family will organize a family reunion to celebrate their children's graduation from high school and grow up, and send memorable adult gifts. Let children understand and remember that they are adults and should be fully responsible for themselves. After children learn to be responsible for themselves, they will be responsible for their families, society and the country. /q/ 136666003306985 1？ src= 140