A 4-year-old boy pulled the sleeve of the 6-year-old boy in front of him while waiting in line (we are mixed-age education, and children aged 3-6 live and study in the same class), and said with a smile, "Brother, let me kiss your face". The 6-year-old boy looked down at his younger brother with a smile in his eyes, but he bowed his head slightly shyly and leaned his face together. The 4-year-old boy stretched himself.
Children will express their feelings with their bodies, hug and kiss their favorite companions, and people who are loved in kisses and hugs also enjoy the feeling of being loved. Children under the age of 6, whether between the opposite sex or the same sex, will naturally express their feelings through kissing and hugging.
On the one hand, we accept and respect the way children express their feelings. On the other hand, we also unconsciously worry about whether children will be precocious. Will you form such a habit? What is the boundary of expressing feelings by kissing?
I divide the boundaries of children's kissing into three aspects:
One is age, the other is object, and the third is location.
Let's start with our little girl, who is 8 years old this year. Two days ago, she accidentally saw the kissing scene in Better Days. The child calmly said, "They are going to kiss", and then covered his eyes with his little hand. I didn't say anything.
I know she has a clear line about kissing, and she is beginning to know that kissing is a shameful and private thing.
In terms of age, we told her that you are a big boy since she was in a big class at the age of 5. With children, you can hug more and try not to kiss your face. By the time she graduated from kindergarten, she basically stopped kissing children and teachers, and all of them used hugs to express happiness.
On the object of kissing, from the age of 3, tell her: relatives and friends and people you like can kiss; Strangers and people you don't want to kiss can refuse if they ask for a kiss. If you don't know how to refuse, you can ask your parents for help This is too smooth. If she doesn't like it, she will simply refuse or hug instead.
For the kissing part, I want to thank her old Chunling Shi. When Chunling guides children to kiss in class, she can kiss her face and back with her hands, but not with her mouth, because kissing is easy to spread bacteria. From then on, even if we kiss our children, we will kiss our faces, our foreheads, our chins, but not each other. Occasionally, when we accidentally meet them, she will laugh with exaggerated expressions and wipe away saliva.
As for kissing between adults of the opposite sex, when she was over 7 years old, I told her directly: this is a way for adults to express their love, and the rule is that 18 years old can only be experienced.
There are some books that can help us learn the degree of kissing with our children. Teacher Hu Ping's series "Understanding Virginity" helps us to interpret children's sexuality with love and science.