I just dealt with one thing yesterday, and today the problem comes. It seems that many children lack inner upward strength, which is really a very serious problem.
Yesterday morning, I saw a message left by my friend after midnight the day before yesterday, saying that Cong Cong's mother asked her to take photos of her daughter taking political notes frequently and send them to her because her son Cong Cong didn't take notes. But my daughter doesn't want to be diligent, and she also has the truth of "one by one" and asks me what to do.
It turns out that Qin Qin and Cong Cong are both my students, and now they are junior high school classmates. The two mothers have a good relationship. Children will naturally find each other if they have problems, and everyone will be enthusiastic to help.
What is easy in the eyes of a mother doesn't apply to children here. Careful mother never thought that her daughter would refuse, but she couldn't convince her daughter to take out her notes.
A big reason for diligence: notes are the fruits of one's own labor; The teacher said that he didn't take notes in class and was responsible for it himself; Moreover, teachers in all disciplines emphasize that they should be responsible for themselves. So, it's grade three. It's that the teacher doesn't give homework to the group, that is, he has to learn to manage himself.
The implication of the heart is that Cong Cong is not responsible for himself. Why should I be responsible?
Well, I can't help sighing that three people are busy here until midnight and haven't solved the problem. The point is, where is Cong Cong without notes? Why didn't he come forward? What is his attitude?
It turned out that Cong Cong's mother found that Cong Cong didn't take notes and asked him to make up his notes. Cong Cong did borrow notes from his classmates, but he was too lazy to copy them when he saw a lot of notes. After a week, I didn't copy, and Congcong's mother went out.
I asked Congcong's mother to stop helping her find notes and let her son solve everything by himself.
On the phone with Cong Cong, he also knew that he didn't take notes and didn't review any materials. Asked what to do, he said he would take notes in the future, directly avoiding the problem of making up notes. Under my questioning, he decided to find teachers and classmates and spend a week making up the notes of the previous weeks.
Then, I called Congcong's mother again and told her that Congcong had decided to ask her to pay attention to urging the children to act this morning (Sunday). But Ma Cong said that her son had to finish his homework in the morning and might not have time to take notes.
I told Congcong's mother that I definitely don't have time to make up my notes, but I have already missed my notes, so I have to hurry up and find time to make up my notes, even if I don't eat or sleep.
Hearing Ma Cong's reluctance, I quickly gave her three chapters: First, if you borrow notes, you can't copy them or take photos directly, you must organize them yourself and copy them in your notebook; Second, according to the total amount of notes, plan the amount of daily supplements and insist on completing the prescribed tasks every day; Third, let Cong tell me the progress of making up notes every day.
At this point, I just want to say that at this time, the more responsible a mother is to her children, the more thoughtful she is to arrange for them, the more afraid of their tiredness, the more afraid of their suffering, the more irresponsible they are, and the less inner strength they have to grow up.
Why do you say that?
Children's primary and secondary schools are in the same class and receive the same school education. However, there is such a big difference between their internal driving force and self-management ability. I'm sure the problem stems from family education.
The two families are rich in material life and attach equal importance to education. Both mothers try their best to educate their children. But I don't know, dear teachers and parents, have you seen it? In fact, the education of the two mothers is different.
Diligent mother, after the child refused her request, she didn't force it, and there was no substitute. She just asked me for help to try to convince the child and continue to communicate with the child. This invisibly sets an example for children. What I promised was my responsibility. I must be responsible. I must do my best for my responsibility.
Because of this long-term subtle education, diligence has strong self-management ability and strong internal growth motivation. "I want to do my own thing well and I want to be responsible for myself" has become a diligent code of conduct and habit. So, she can say a lot of reasons to strangle Qin Ma.
Ma Cong, she asked the child to make up for it, but the child didn't take action because he was afraid of difficulties. She didn't force the child, but instead of the child, she personally asked Qin Ma to take notes for her son, and it was a photo to take notes. In this way, the son doesn't have to copy or sort out, so he has ready-made notes to use; What's more, when I asked her to urge her children to find notes and copy them, she also gave her son an excuse that she might not have time to make up her homework.
I know that if I don't have time to make up on Sunday, I don't have time to make up during school hours.
Don't say indulgence for such a long time, that is to say, there is such a substitute once, and there will be a second time and a third time if children are lazy and have good fruit to eat ... because, which child, excluding adults, doesn't want ready-made fruit to eat?
As a matter of fact, Cong Cong didn't dare to take notes in the political class for several weeks, which showed that he didn't take learning as his own business and was irresponsible to himself. Ma Cong not only didn't let her children learn from it and prevent such incidents from happening again, but "helped" him to be lazy, which would only form a vicious circle.
How can children have the inner strength to grow up? Teachers and parents should do:
First, from the snack "Italian pill".
It is necessary to cultivate children's sense of purpose and know what kind of person they want to be and what goals they want to achieve every time. What kind of person you want to be and what kind of achievement you want to achieve is your own responsibility, not the responsibility of teachers and parents.
Teachers and parents should support children's responsibilities and provide conditions to help children realize their responsibilities; But we must never take our responsibilities instead of children. To have a clear division of labor, teachers, parents and children should all take their own responsibilities, just as parents are responsible for making money to support their families and children can't work instead of parents, so parents can't take the place of their children's responsibilities in study and life.
Only by being clear about the meaning of life and doing your duty can we be harmonious and happy.
Second, health plus "respect agent"
After children successfully perform their duties, they should be affirmed and expected in time, and let them enjoy the pleasure of successfully performing their duties through praise, rewards and other means, expecting children to take on greater responsibilities; At the same time, we should respect children's choices equally, encourage children to develop their personality, and let children enhance their self-confidence and internal growth motivation in self-realization.
Third, fight "regular boxing" if you are sick.
School and family management should not only have maternal love, meet children's requirements and provide children with a safe and comfortable living environment; With the growth of age, we should constantly increase the restraint and shaping of fatherly love.
Schools and families should make rules, with bottom line requirements and certain punishment rules. Once you cross the bottom line, for example, if you don't take notes in class or finish your homework, you should be punished according to the rules, so that children can know what they can never do. In other words, let the children learn from the punishment and know that once they are lazy, they must and can only pay double the price to compensate, instead of exceeding the bottom line requirements and restoring health.
To increase children's learning motivation, the three measures are simple and practical, depending on how teachers and parents insist.