Parenting education reading notes writer "Parenting under the Moon"
Love him for who he is.
It's not what I hoped.
The best parenting is to let children be themselves.
This book shows us how to get a good parent-child relationship by reading and understanding children through vivid examples of parenting in life. More importantly, when we understand the children's hearts, we can really care for the children's initial heart as guardians and appreciate their wonderful performance in the process of becoming themselves.
Wonderful article:
May every man called dad
Can be a father
One night, I met Bao Yue Moore in kindergarten. When I left the gate, I bumped into a father who was leading the children in a hurry. He stood in front of the teacher on duty with a schoolbag: "Mr. Chen, I'm sorry, I took the wrong schoolbag."
Teacher Chen took the bag: "Whose is this?"
"I don't know."
"Where did you get it?"
"I don't know! Maybe I took it wrong when I was playing the slide just now. "
As he spoke, he pushed the child's head: "Why don't you even know your schoolbag?"
The child said, "I know, didn't you bring this bag back?" When I got on the bus, I found that I took it wrong. "
Dad's face was a little worried, and he pushed the child into the kindergarten: "Go, go, hurry to find your schoolbag, and don't go to school until tomorrow."
The father and son are far apart. Teacher Chen said, "I always see such a father who either takes the wrong child's schoolbag or roller skates or asks where the child's classroom is. I feel that my father cares too little about children now. "
I don't know what a child's schoolbag looks like. Don't fathers ever take a deep look at their children's backs after school?
Not long ago, someone in a mother group asked, children spend a lot of time with their fathers, and fathers often take time out with their children, but why can't children be close to their fathers?
Her question reminds me of an incident that happened last year.
We have several friends who often take their children together as a family. A friend's husband always doesn't attend, probably because Yue's father is more cheerful. My friend's child Xiaoxi likes to play with Yue's father.
Once everyone climbed the mountain together, and the children were tired when they climbed halfway up the mountain. The fathers picked up the children one by one, and finally only Xiaoxi was left alone. She clamored for a hug from her mother, and her mother couldn't move a bunch of things. Xiaoxi was very depressed and said, why can't Dad go with us?
Later, one time, Xiaoxi's father came, but Xiaoxi still likes to play with other people's fathers. Why is this?
I secretly observed it. During the whole activity, Xiaoxi approached his father more than once, asked him questions and asked him for help, but he just looked down at his mobile phone and occasionally said, "Go play with the children, Dad is busy!"
Later, in the process of eating, Xiaoxi showed anxiety and injustice more than once and was "very naughty" among a group of children. Then dad appeared in time and stopped her loudly. Several times, the contradiction was about to escalate, and my friend quickly stood up and said that the child might be sleepy, but I prefer to believe that Xiaoxi's irritability was caused by her depression and anger because her request for fatherly love was not answered.
To tell the truth, Xiao Xi's mood is even worse than when his father is away!
With the growth of children's age, children are more and more eager for father's love. The long-term absence of father will have a serious negative impact on children's body and mind.
However, some fathers have lived with their children for a long time and spent a lot of time with their children, but they have not formed a good parent-child relationship. This is because their companionship with children is "false companionship".
The so-called pseudo-companionship is simply "physical companionship", that is, I always accompany you, but I don't care what you do or what you think. Although such parents appear to be accompanying their children, they do not communicate with their children emotionally and ideologically, thus making companionship useless.
Just like Xiaoxi's father, although he attended the event, his presence and heart in Korea gave the child hope of companionship, but she was even more lost and disappointed because of indifference and alienation.
In the football match, some players don't try their best to play football when they play, which will definitely make their teammates slack off and lose heart. At work, some people go to work on time, but do nothing, which will make the work lag behind and drag down the organization.
Therefore, companionship is not about how much time you spend, but about how much thought, how much emotion and how much practical things you have done!
There are also some dads who have set up their own companies, but if proper measures are not taken, the impact of such companies will be worse than that of not having them.
A friend once told me that his father was very strict with him. When he was a child, from studying to making friends, every detail should be firmly controlled, and every step of life should be subject to his arrangement.
Before he was eighteen, the bedroom door was never closed and the drawers were never locked. When he called his female classmate, he had to report the whole story.
The only time he didn't listen to his father's arrangement was to fill in the college entrance examination volunteers. He almost broke up with his family in order to stick to his choice. His only thought is to get out of his father's control and stay away from the exam.
After graduation, he once started a business with his classmates. As a result, in less than a year, the capital chain broke and he lost all his money.
One night, three of their friends were sitting on the side of the road smoking when one of them's phone rang. It was his father. He said on the phone that if he couldn't hold on, he would go home.
The buddy cried, and so did he. Man was moved by his father, and he cried, because he suddenly found that his father was very different from his father.
Some dads are called dads, while others can only be called dads orally.
What is a father?
I probably feel that I am dispensable on weekdays. I don't need to kiss and hug like my mother, and I don't ramble on the phone like my mother. I may even feel that I have nothing to say. But when something happens, I will think of him first. I want to hear his opinion before making a major decision. I feel very wronged and want to talk to him. He doesn't talk much, but a word or two can make you get blood back quickly, so that you won't feel helpless at any time, because there are always people behind you to encourage you.
However, very few fathers can do this. He seems to downplay the child's life, but in fact, he has invested a lot of emotions, given the child enough undivided attention, moistened things quietly, and let the child build enough trust in him.
A decent father must have enough emotions to rely on and enough cultivation to be a background in order to live in the world of children.
However, some dads are not accompanied by their children when they are young. When they make any mistakes, they rely on force to solve them, from scolding to beating. They solve problems simply and rudely. In the rebellious period of youth, they have no emotional communication with their children, but they naively want to show their parents' dignity.
Such a father may not love children, but he thinks the role of father is too simple.
Everyone can be a father, but not every father deserves to be called a father. Fathers can only rely on physiological instinct, but as fathers, they must shoulder the responsibility of achieving their children.
Give your child enough care and let him feel warm in his childhood.
Give your child enough strength to be bold and confident when he is a teenager.
Give your child enough tolerance so that he has no secrets from you during adolescence.
Being a dad is nothing, I hope all dads can be dads!
About the author: