Parents are very attentive to their children's education, but they don't need places, mainly discipline, and there are traces of interference everywhere. Children experience coercion, not education.
This book is for parents and teachers to see how children should be "attentive" when facing their children and how they should be "seamless" when educating their children.
Below, I will discuss how to educate children correctly based on the educational ideas provided by this book from the topics that two parents are most concerned about.
First, pay attention to extracurricular reading.
Educator Suhomlinski has done a lot of research on teenagers' reading, and he clearly expounded the relationship between reading and learning ability: whoever is not good at reading is not good at thinking. Good reading ability can promote the development of intelligence.
Reading is the water and sunshine of wisdom. Any child who has read a lot since childhood will have a better mental state and learning ability; Children who lack reading generally have poor learning ability.
This phenomenon is often seen in life. Some children studied well when they were young, but as they grew up year by year, their grades became worse and worse, and they became less and less fond of learning and less self-disciplined. Other children, on the other hand, have average grades when they were young, but the more they grow up, the more they like to study, and the better their grades are.
The main reason behind this phenomenon is extracurricular reading.
Children who read a lot have strong learning ability. When he consciously takes the initiative to study, his rich language and knowledge background can make his efforts gain a sense of accomplishment, which in turn can make him learn more actively.
For a child with little reading, pale language and knowledge background will weaken his learning ability. Faced with more and more difficult knowledge, he will not be able to cope. The more depressed he is, the less confident he is and the less interested he is in learning. When his grades drop all the way, he will intentionally or unintentionally avoid studying, forming a vicious circle.
If you want your child to have more initiative and grasp ability in study and life, let him read more books. Books are a magic wand, which will bring a kind of magic to children's learning and promote their wisdom.
Second, "not accompanying" can cultivate good study habits.
Since the children went to primary school, it has become a "homework" for many parents to accompany their children to do their homework.
Every parent who is responsible for their children will care about "homework". After all, homework seems to be the first domino, which can bring about a series of changes since then-homework is related to children's academic performance and their future studies, and further studies determine their career future.
Many parents give up some activities and accompany their children to do homework every day. Some parents sit next to the bench and stare; Some parents come from time to time to see where it is written, whether it is standardized or not, and finally help check it. In short, they hope to cultivate children's good habit of loving learning and doing homework through the participation of all staff.
But in fact, parents who often accompany their children to do homework usually have this experience: First, children will have a dependence on their parents, and doing homework is a common thing for them and their parents. Parents can't sit still and don't want to write without them; Second, every time a child does his homework, he will show a painful expression, hoping to win the sympathy and attention of his parents; Third, when children dawdle or don't study hard, they can't help nagging, and even some parents will spend time and hard work with their children, resulting in debt collection psychology. When children have bad grades or study habits, they will say something accusing or even humiliating.
As a result of this "companionship", children will form the illusion that "doing homework is a common thing for him and his parents", which is not conducive to cultivating children's independence and consciousness, and may even feel guilty and inferior because of parents' complaints. Such "companionship" will only create trouble for children and help them develop bad habits.
Of course, the "not accompanying" here is by no means laissez-faire, but emphasizes the space for children to learn self-management, which is intended to cultivate children to form good habits.
In the process of cultivating habits, parents should create children's initiative and sense of accomplishment.
For example, Yuan Yuan, the author's daughter, often forgot to do her homework when she first went to primary school. In order to make children get into the habit of doing homework, the author discussed it with her husband without being reminded. Several times, Yuanyuan didn't remember to do her homework until bedtime.
The author did not blame the child for "not doing homework", nor did he make a decision for him when he was in a hurry, urging him to write at once, but guided the child to think and choose what to do-do it first and then sleep? Or get some sleep first and get up early tomorrow to write? Or simply stop writing and explain to the teacher yourself. As long as the child chooses according to her own wishes, she will take the initiative to implement it.
If the child comes home from school and finishes his homework ahead of time, the author will praise her in time and tell her clearly that this is a good habit and should be maintained. Later, Yuan Yuan seldom forgot to do his homework. After several experiences of staying up late, Yuan Yuan began to plan the time of doing his homework intentionally, and the efficiency of finishing his homework was also very high.
The habit created by "companionship" is only physiological. And "not accompanying" has left room for growth in children's hearts.
A person, first of all a free person, can become a conscious person. Return the room for growth to children, and children will have the opportunity to experience the invariability brought by things that have not been done well, and then take the initiative to adjust and realize self-management.
Whether it is to cultivate children's reading habits or to guide children to write homework alone, it reveals parents' educational philosophy and wisdom.
The love of parents goes deep into the sea, but there is a qualitative difference. What determines the quality is the child's level of understanding and the level of handling details.
Qualified parents are the most beneficial wealth of a child's life.