Three kinds of wrong anti-frustration education
1
Think that the more setbacks children suffer, the better.
Some parents deliberately create some troubles during their children's growth to improve their ability to resist setbacks. In fact, we all "misunderstood" setbacks.
Psychologically, frustration is a negative emotional state in which an individual's needs are not met due to obstacles and interference when engaging in purposeful activities.
Too many setbacks are too many negative states. Too many negative States will only make children have no enthusiasm for life, lack passion for doing things, lose confidence, and become very inferior and fragile.
2
Only big troubles are setbacks.
Many parents think that only the big troubles in life are setbacks, while ignoring the problem from the perspective of children. When children are overwhelmed by insurmountable problems in their studies, parents may think, "Isn't it just a problem? What's the big deal?" However, for children, this is a setback because they have subjective feelings. For them, the difficulty of not solving the problem is consistent with what you think is the big trouble in life.
Therefore, we can't deny children's setbacks by our own subjective consciousness. Over time, children will feel useless: "do mom and dad think simple things are so difficult for me?" Children will become less and less confident and deny their self-worth.
three
Children who don't cry are well educated.
Some parents think that children who don't cry when they encounter setbacks are "strong anti-frustration ability". Children who don't know not to cry just keep grievances and sadness in their hearts. If these emotions are not resolved and vented, they will only accumulate deeper and deeper in their hearts, and they will become unconfident, timid, cowardly and even confused in the future.
Youyou and Guoguo often encounter setbacks when they grow up, but they are strong and optimistic and never afraid of setbacks. In fact, when children face setbacks, what matters is not the setbacks themselves, but the attitude that children can correctly understand setbacks and actively face them. This is the key to our education of children.
So how to make children face setbacks positively?
1
Help children understand their emotions correctly.
When children encounter setbacks, they may feel depressed and even cry. As parents, you should let your children vent their emotions first, and then help them feel their emotions after they calm down: "You are very sad, yes, your mother was very sad when she encountered problems when she was a child, just like you are now."
Correctly guide children's emotions, arouse their resonance, and let them know that it is normal to be sad.
2
Help children correctly understand setbacks.
After the child calms down, we have to ask the child, "Why are you sad?"
"It's because of difficulties."
"So where is the difficulty?"
"There is no solution to this problem."
"Then why can't you solve it? Is it because the teacher didn't understand what he said, or are you distracted in class? "
Let the child realize that his so-called difficulty is not unsolvable, and find the root of the difficulty, so that he can find out, "Oh, it turns out that I encountered this difficulty because I didn't listen to the teacher." It's not how stupid or difficult I am.
three
Help children find solutions to setbacks.
When Youyou Primary School first formally learned English, it was always impossible to recite words. Many words are forgotten just by memory. She was very upset. After I know it, I will help her divide the words, then find interesting sentences from the text to help her remember, and preview and review with her in the prime time in the morning. Slowly, the children mastered the tricks themselves, and remembering words was a piece of cake.
When children encounter setbacks, parents should give appropriate guidance according to their own experiences to help them solve their difficulties. If customer service is difficult, children will no longer be afraid of it.
Life is destined to have ups and downs, difficulties and twists and turns. What really hinders children's future is not the current setbacks and difficulties, but the mentality when facing difficulties. An optimistic and positive attitude can always help children resolve difficulties, smile at life, turn every difficulty into their own experience and lessons, and become a stepping stone to success. As parents, we must recognize the nature of setbacks and help our children have a good attitude. This is the key to frustration education.