To change children's weariness of learning, we must first find out the reasons for children's weariness of learning, and then we can prescribe the right medicine and let children learn happily.
Children don't like learning, which is not necessarily caused by poor intelligence. Parents' incorrect attitude towards children's learning, improper guidance to children's learning, and bad learning attitudes and habits developed by children in their early years are all reasons. Among them, parents' incorrect attitude towards children's learning includes expecting too much from their children, failing to provide a suitable learning environment, only paying attention to exam results, caring for them in waves and even letting themselves drift. The bad learning attitude and habits developed by children in their early years have the greatest influence on learning, because it will directly affect the learning attitude of the day after tomorrow. Generally speaking, procrastination, dependence, luck and lack of perseverance are all bad habits. Parents should pay attention to prevent their children from catching these bad habits.
In addition, an important reason why children don't like learning is that their poor grades make them lose their confidence and interest in learning. To this end, the primary task of parents is to try to stimulate their children's learning motivation. Power comes from demand. In the process of learning, children will have three needs, including interest, sense of accomplishment and appreciation. When children have even met their needs, they will have a good impression on learning, and then gradually fall in love with learning.
In the face of children who don't like learning, parents should not take hasty measures such as scolding and flogging, so as to avoid self-defeating and increase their dislike of learning. When faced with the problem that children don't like learning, many parents always blame or scold their children first, without thinking about why their children are in such a situation or helping them cultivate their interest in learning. This is a pity, because many children who can be trained the day after tomorrow have become a group that cannot make progress under such circumstances.
Parents should encourage and reward their children from time to time, including interest, sense of accomplishment and appreciation. When children have even met their needs, they will have a good impression on learning, and then gradually fall in love with learning.
Clear rewards and punishments, so that children can understand and correct their mistakes. It should be emphasized that when children do not study well and do not like learning, parents should not only pay attention to their grades, but also pay attention to their consciousness, find the reasons from the root causes and find ways to solve their children's problems. The exam is only to evaluate the child's learning level. Even if it is not ideal, don't be too nervous.
What should adolescent children do if they are tired of learning? In order to educate children, parents need to learn; Learn more about how to communicate with adolescent children.
First of all, we should pay attention to maintaining the normal and smooth communication channels with children. After entering adolescence, children have a fierce confrontation with obstacles, confusion, leap and maturity in psychological development, so some people compare this to children entering an "eventful autumn" and starting an emotional "storm period". In fact, at this moment, I am not afraid of children's psychological confusion and contradictions, because children's psychology is gradually maturing in the process of solving these puzzles and contradictions. I am afraid that the child will not reflect the problem truthfully and will not be solved in time and correctly. Therefore, parents should take some time to communicate with their children every day, adopt a listening, encouraging, participating and calm attitude towards their children's expression, and introduce some of their own situations to their children, so as to achieve the effect of "throwing bricks to attract jade" and "equality and reciprocity". It is very important to talk to children every day. Children say that mom and dad listen, which is called "heart-to-heart"; It's just that mom and dad say that children listen, which is called "nagging". Spend 10 minutes talking with children every day and let him chat with you. No matter what the child says, don't scold the child, but be interested in what the child says. ? Even if children tell their parents what they have done wrong, parents should help solve it with a positive and constructive attitude, instead of rushing to hold a "on-site criticism meeting". Dare to tell parents what they did wrong, which is one of the signs of happy communication between parents and children, indicating that they regard their parents as friends with nothing to say. Therefore, parents should never fly into a rage when they hear their children's mistakes. It is an opportunity to help children grow up. Secondly, we should pay attention to the adjustment of our own roles. After children enter adolescence, it has become their strong psychological demand to ask their parents to give them independence, autonomy, equality and democracy. Many parents have been accustomed to their children's "absolute leadership" and give orders to their children before this. Listening to children's reports and helping them solve their difficulties can easily make parents have an inertia consciousness of treating their children as children forever. Once children begin to have their own opinions, have objections to their parents' "instructions" and are unwilling to tell their parents their secrets, parents will easily feel confused and unable to adapt. It can be seen that parents should realize the psychological characteristics of this child as soon as possible, make full psychological preparation and role change, and develop towards establishing a new relationship with the child and becoming a mentor and mentor.
There is a saying that "if you are poor, you will change." For most parents, children should belong to them completely. A child, from a very young age, will do whatever you say, but if one day, the word "no" pops up in his or her mouth, parents will have a very contradictory psychology. On the one hand, parents will be happy because their children finally have their own ideas, because their children have grown up; On the other hand, parents will feel that their children seem to be out of their control and even feel a little hurt. This contradictory psychology often has a bad influence on the daily parent-child relationship. As children grow up, friction with their parents becomes more and more frequent, and some rebellious psychology begins to appear in their behavior, which makes parents very headache.
A few days ago, at the parent salon of Shenghua Education, dozens of parents discussed the parent-child relationship together, and some questions raised by parents were quite representative.
The child is covered with thorns.
Comments: Respect is the most important.
A parent said that his child has changed since he was in junior high school. The temper is getting hotter and hotter. Never heard of it, just look at it coldly, as if it were covered with thorns.
Another parent also said that his children have similar problems. Usually, children and parents are restrained, but they often break out after accumulating to a certain extent. If words don't work, it is a slap in the face! Let's talk after the fight and calm down. "It will break out almost every few months. After hitting him, I can calm down and talk for an hour. It will be better after a while, but after a long time, the old state will appear again. " The parent said that her husband is also a hot-tempered person, and his childhood tutoring experience is similar.
Parents have a heated discussion on this issue, but their opinions are quite consistent, that is, under no circumstances should violence be used against children. Yin Yongsheng, president of Shenghua Education, commented that children can sit down and communicate with their parents for a certain period of time, even if the atmosphere is not very good, which shows that children are also looking for solutions. In the family, the most important thing is mutual respect. Don't treat children as your own private property, and one person has the final say. Instead, we should abandon the high shelf and stand on an equal height with children.
The child is extremely disobedient.
Comments: Never say "no" to children.
A parent said that his child was extreme and didn't listen to advice.
The parent said that for a while, the child came home and said that a teacher in his school was neither good nor bad. In a word, he has a deep prejudice against the teacher. This parent is very skillful, because the child is stubborn at ordinary times and immediately ignites the powder keg when he makes a mistake, so she did not refute the child face to face, but talked with the child's teacher several times in private and learned the truth.
After that, the parents repeatedly considered how to discuss this matter with their children. Finally, the parent had an idea and said to the child, "Son, I talked to your teacher. Your teacher feels that he has done something wrong, but he can't save face and apologize to you, but you should also consider whether what you have done is inappropriate. " The child didn't say anything, but the parents obviously felt that the child's view of the teacher had changed, and they never spoke ill of the teacher at home again.
President Yin said that this parent is full of wisdom in handling this matter. Because children are in a period of psychological growth, they are quite sensitive to the outside world. So once you make it clear that he is wrong, he will definitely blush and refute. "Some children, as long as the words' you are wrong' pop out of their mouths, the next communication will be invalid, because they have no mind to listen to your reasons at all, but try to find loopholes in your speech to prove that they are right." President Yin suggested that when a child does something wrong, he should never deny it, but first affirm his correct part and then turn to his inappropriate place.