After breakfast that day, I sent my son to school as usual, and then went home to the study to start writing. My wife always washes dishes and chopsticks, and then searches for the dirty clothes changed by the whole family to finish the cleaning task all morning.
Just as I was about to write, my wife suddenly and mysteriously came to the study. "Hey, honey, come here and show you something."
I'm a little MiDeng, "what is it? Look at your mystery and find private money? "
"Come and see, you will know, about your precious son!"
When I came to my son's room, I saw my wife holding a square trouser head and pouring some yogurt on it. I suddenly seem to understand something. How time flies! My son is instantly 13 years old and almost as tall as me.
The wife said, "I turned this out from under my son's pillow." In the past, all his clothes were put on the stool. I probably wouldn't have found out if I didn't think his pillowcase should be washed this time. "
I said to my wife, "Take it and wash it for him. Pay attention to washing it separately from clean clothes. It is normal for a son to grow up. "
But my wife's next move made me admire her grasp of the psychological characteristics of middle school students. The wife put the underwear back under the pillow and stopped washing the pillowcase.
She said, "Since my son hides his underwear under the pillow, he certainly doesn't want us to know his little secret." If I wash his underwear, I can't hide this secret, and it will become a psychological burden for the child, so let my son handle it himself. "
I quite agree with my wife's practice to protect my son's privacy and make his growth less troublesome.
From what my wife did to her son after the physiological period, I got two experiences:
First of all, we must safeguard the dignity of children. Many parents think they are rational and scientific after discovering that their son has reached the physiological period. On the one hand, they comfort their son not to have any psychological burden, on the other hand, they explain to his son that this is a normal phenomenon for boys to grow up.
As we all know, middle school students are very sensitive psychologically. You tell him that his family knows his little secret, which will definitely cause him a great psychological burden, which is much heavier than that after he had a sexual dream, and it is a long-term psychological burden.
As for explaining to children that this is a normal physiological phenomenon, it is really unnecessary. The child is in middle school. He has studied in the classroom biology class and even passed the exam. Isn't the teacher better than our parents?
Therefore, the best way is to help children keep this secret together and don't let him have any psychological burden.
And I believe that children can handle it by themselves, and they are already adults. In the future, children will gradually develop the good habit of washing their own clothes, and you will feel that children are much more sensible.
Second, pay more attention to covert supervision. After entering the physiological period, with the increase of hormone secretion, boys will enter a period of high incidence of fantasies about the opposite sex. This instinctive impulse will drive boys to do some adult behaviors, such as masturbation, watching small movies, puppy love, and even "big things".
If the child does not handle it well and gets caught up in it, there will be bad situations such as decreased grades and neglected studies, and this instinctive impulse cannot be deliberately suppressed. In addition, teenagers are in a rebellious period, and if parents don't handle it well, the consequences will be very serious.
For example, many parents immediately flew into a rage and rushed to school after learning about the puppy love of their children, especially girls, vowing to find out the "murderer" who hurt their daughters. As a result, the child was disheartened. After making a scene, he didn't want to go to school again and was forced to transfer.
Sensitivity and rebellion, then how can we solve the troubles of children's growth without hurting their self-esteem and reducing resistance?
The principle is to pay more attention to supervision in secret and solve sexual orientation problems in time. This can protect the child's self-esteem to the greatest extent, and will not lead to the development of the problem to an irreparable level.
For example, we find that children often hide in the house alone, and parents suddenly enter the bedroom, so children are very nervous. We should consider that children are doing some "manual work" or watching some videos that they shouldn't watch.
At this time, our parents must not be exposed, but should communicate with their children in time, increase companionship, take their children out to play, increase physical exercise, enrich their spare-time life and reduce their chances of doing nothing.
In the final analysis, children's growth is a long process, in which many physiological and psychological changes will be experienced, and the healthy growth of children can not be separated from the companionship and protection of our parents, but also needs the correct guidance of our parents.
But the ultimate goal is to let children learn to grow up by themselves. Through a series of self-transformation and self-facing, they gradually learn to handle their own affairs independently and grow into a mature and stable man.
In this process, our parents only need to watch and watch, and there is no big problem. There is no need to do everything yourself and make decisions for your children.
When my son was in second grade, I washed his underwear and found something on it. Although dribs and drabs, but not too much. But at that moment, as a mother, I was both excited and worried. Excited, from that day on, my son will change from a little boy to a man. The worry is that if the child has other small moves, it will affect his health and distract his energy.
I told my husband what I found and asked him to bring a small cake after work in the evening to celebrate my son's formal "adulthood".
At dinner in the evening, I took out my son's favorite dish and lit candles. The son was surprised and asked who had his birthday. I was afraid that my son would be embarrassed, so I deliberately hid in the kitchen and dawdled.
The husband touched his son's head and said, "Son, do you know that the water in the cup overflows easily?" We men, too, are full of vigor. "Before the husband finished, the son said," I know what you are talking about. We talked about everything in the physical health class, and I know everything! " "
It seems that I am worried, and people know everything! My nervous heart suddenly relaxed. I never took it to heart again.
After a while, the summer vacation after the children's senior high school entrance examination. He always likes to sleep late. The more he wakes up in the morning, the more he likes to sleep late. I didn't go out to work too early, and I was worried that he would be late for cram school, so I called him by the way.
Every time I call my son, he is in a bad mood. Said he was having a beautiful dream, and I always woke him up before he finished. After waking up, it always seems that I can't sleep.
I deliberately checked the quilt when I cleaned his room. I really saw the quilt he covered, with several marks. There are several groups of toilet paper in the trash can beside the bed. I picked up the toilet paper and immediately knew what my son was doing secretly.
After the summer vacation, my son will be a senior one. If children are distracted in high school, can they still study hard?
That day, I was really at a loss. Although I feel that the child's nocturnal emission is normal, it seems difficult to say it, and I feel that the little gesture is very shameful. All kinds of worries come to mind, and I wonder if other children have this situation. It's hard to talk, and I'm in a hurry.
I have attached great importance to family education since my children grew up. When I encounter a problem, my first reaction is to turn to books. I went to the library not far from home, which contained many "little secrets" about children's adolescence.
I selected some confusing chapters and read them carefully. My heart suddenly relaxed, because according to scientific theory, it is not heinous and unforgivable for boys to make small moves during their physiological period. As long as it is not excessive and pays attention to hygiene, it will not affect the body.
I borrowed some secret popular science books about boys' adolescence. Throw it to my husband and let him and his children talk about the man's strategy.
My son likes to go out for a walk with her husband best, so he took the opportunity to tell him. It is normal for boys to make small moves, but they must not go too far. Otherwise, it will have a certain impact on the body, such as no spiritual study and distraction.
The principle of our family is not to criticize or encourage this matter. But if reminded in time, be sure not to overdo it and pay attention to hygiene.
My son is the kind of person who looks for answers from books. He is very interested in the books I borrowed from the library. It is easy to understand, or what he wants to know. I'll put it on the sofa and he'll flip through it when he's free.
In the days to come, I will find traces on the quilt, but rarely find used paper balls in the trash can.
The first thing I did after my child was admitted to college was to tell him. If you meet a girl you like, you can pursue it boldly. Talking about a love is the real college life.
But one thing must be noted, boys should have a sense of responsibility. This responsibility is that what should not be done must not be done. Because he is still a student after all, something happened and the consequences were beyond his age.
My son is a freshman in 985 this year, and he is already a very sensible big boy. There are some things that parents can't hide, and it's hard not to tell their children. Although they are all from textbooks, parents have the responsibility to tell him some truth about being a man. Let him know what he can and can't do.
As a mother who has had a physiological reaction since junior high school, I would like to give the following advice to the equally confused parents:
1. After puberty, it is normal for children to have some physiological reactions and nocturnal emission. If there is no such reaction and phenomenon, it is worrying. Don't be too scared or too shy to talk about these things with your children. The nocturnal emission is not terrible. Terrible is that nocturnal emission produces negative emotions of anxiety and shame, which brings mental stress and affects daily study, life and interpersonal communication. At this time, it is necessary to seek the help of professional doctors or psychologists.
2. After every boy enters adolescence, in the process of physiological reaction, some children will have some "little moves" that parents think are difficult to say. Don't scare the children. It is said that more than 90% of men with normal physiological development have had this kind of "small action" phenomenon in their lives, which does not mean that children will become bad.
If the child is willing to communicate with you in this respect, we will tell him the scientific knowledge. If he doesn't want to talk, we can buy some similar books and put them in the living room at will. If he needs it, he will go and see it himself.
4. Pay attention to this aspect of hygiene. There may be some impurity or other infection problems in the process of nocturnal emission. Therefore, in the process of accompanying the child to take a bath, the father should pay attention to observe whether the special parts of the child are damaged. If there is no problem, don't worry.
5. Children are not with their parents when they go to college. Tell them in advance that if they have a girlfriend, they should have the responsibility and responsibility. What can be done and what can never be crossed must be made clear to children. Because some things are beyond their age.
When my son/kloc-was 0/2 years old, one night after he took a shower, I accidentally found some white stains on his underwear when I put his clothes in the washing machine.
At first, I thought there was too much washing powder when washing clothes, and there was no white stain left after rinsing, but I found that this was not the case when I touched it in my hand.
Because there is too much washing powder, the remaining stains will not be hard, but the white stain on my son's underwear is hard, and then I smelled it with my nose to know what this white stain is.
As a man, I naturally know what this means. After all, that's how I got here. At this moment, I found that my son is not the babbling kid he used to be, but has grown up now.
When I discovered this, I was quite happy, because my son finally grew up, but at the same time I was a little worried, because both boys and girls will have some physical and psychological changes during adolescence.
Without correct guidance, I am afraid that my son will do things that affect his physical and mental health in ignorance. After all, children who are in adolescence are still curious about some things.
When my son finishes taking a shower, I will tell him not to rush to sleep. I have something to say to him. My son is also puzzled by my actions, because he has never seen such a serious expression on my face.
Seeing my son sitting quietly next to me with his head down, I realized that I was a little too serious and scared my son. He must think he made some mistakes, and I want to teach him a lesson.
So I smiled and said to my son, son, dad called you today not because you made any mistakes, but because I found that you have grown up and become a little man. There are some things I have to popularize for you.
My son is even more puzzled when he hears me say this. He said, dad, you said I was no longer a child. If you have something to say, just say it. Don't beat around the bush. Finish it quickly. I have to go to bed.
Now that my son has said so, I'll be blunt. I asked him how the white stain on his underwear came from. Originally, I thought that after my son said it, I would popularize it for him. What is it like for boys to sleep at night with nocturnal emission?
I didn't expect my son to look at me like a fool and say, dad, stop it. I know what you are going to say. When I was in biology class, the teacher had said that nocturnal emission is a normal physiological phenomenon in adolescence. The reason why I didn't tell you was because I was shy and embarrassed.
Well, it seems that I worry too much. The teacher has already said that. Besides, what the teacher said must be much more comprehensive than me. In that case, I'm relieved.
Time flies. My son is on the third grade in a blink of an eye, and he is about to meet the senior high school entrance examination. My son's grades have always been among the best. If he can be admitted to a key high school, he won't do those hard and unprofitable jobs like me in the future.
Unexpectedly, my son looked listless in the face of the nervous senior high school entrance examination. He locks himself in his room after school every day and asks him what he is doing in the room. He always said that he was reviewing and told me not to disturb him.
The more you think about it, the more wrong it is. I need to lock myself in the review, as if I were doing something shameful. And I found that my son had to knock on the door every morning to wake up. At first, I thought he was worried about not doing well in the exam, so staying up late to review would lead to insufficient sleep.
So I told my son not to be too nervous, just take an ordinary exam and don't put too much pressure on himself. Unexpectedly, my son sent me away with an impatient "I know".
Until one night, I found many used toilet paper balls under his bed. Only when I opened it did I know why my son locked himself in his room and was listless all day. It turns out that this boy is not studying at night at all, but secretly doing some messy things.
The thought of it makes me anxious and angry. If he goes on like this, my son will not be admitted to a key high school, and may not even reach the threshold of an ordinary high school. that this is not the important question. The point is, in the long run, my son's body will definitely have problems, which may seriously lead to mental illness.
I was going to teach my son a lesson after school, but when I thought that my son was in a rebellious period, it was counterproductive to teach him a bad lesson, so I could only solve it in a relatively gentle way.
Finally, after careful consideration, I decided to talk it over with my son. In order to make my son have a happy mood and accept my conversation, I specially bought his favorite KFC. My son likes fried chicken since he was a child, but for his health, I never allow him to eat it.
After school, my son took a shower and prepared to go back to his room as usual. Seeing that his son was going to lock the door again, I quickly smiled and said, son, don't review tonight. I bought your favorite KFC. I can't have a good chat with you after you finish eating.
When my son heard that it was KFC, he immediately came to his senses and wolfed it down. Quietly watching my son finish eating, I seriously told my son:
Son, adolescence, boys are curious about some things, and they will secretly do some little tricks at night. This is normal, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Your father and I have done that kind of thing secretly before, but you should remember that some things are fine once or twice. Don't overdo it, otherwise it will have a great impact on your health, and you will regret it later. Also, pay attention to hygiene and be sure to clean it up afterwards.
After that, I asked my son to clean the toilet paper under the bed. In order to make my son more aware of the harm of long-term petty actions to his health, I specially took a day off at the weekend and went to the library with my son to check the information myself to see if what I told him was reasonable.
Since then, I have never seen a toilet paper ball under my son's bed, and my son's mental state has improved a lot. After the senior high school entrance examination, I was successfully admitted to the municipal key high school.
In fact, the problem of finding a son's physiological period is easy to solve:
When a boy reaches the physiological period, he is already a big boy, and many things have his own understanding ability. What parents have to do is patiently enlighten him on what he can and cannot do.
After entering adolescence, boys will have some normal physiological reactions, such as nocturnal emission, which is a process that every boy has to go through. So when your child encounters this situation, don't think it is a shy question. You should take the initiative to communicate with your child, guide him correctly, and tell him that this is just a normal physiological phenomenon, which means that he has grown up and is no longer a child.
After entering adolescence, every boy will be curious about something, so he will secretly do some little tricks behind his parents' backs. At this time, don't scold your child for not studying well. This is just a normal physiological reaction, but you must tell your child that it is ok to do little tricks, there is no need to sneak around, once or twice is normal, but not too often, otherwise it will cause physical and psychological harm, and you should pay attention to hygiene afterwards.
If children can listen to you patiently, it must be the best. For example, some boys will feel shy and unwilling to communicate this question with their parents, so we can buy some books on this subject and let the children find the answer from them.
This is a necessary stage for every parent. First of all, it should be considered a happy thing: to prove that the child has really grown up. When the child reaches the physiological period, the main performance is nocturnal emission. The urgent task for parents is to help their children correctly understand and handle the physiological period.
Perhaps many parents also find it difficult to talk about it and don't know how to communicate with their children. They may wish to choose some ingenious methods.
Buy some books about adolescent health for children and put them in the bedroom. Some parents think it may be awkward to talk about this topic with their children, so they might as well take some clever ways to deal with it.
You can buy some books about teenagers' health and put them in children's bedrooms to prevent children from getting relevant information through other bad channels. Nowadays, all kinds of bad websites on the Internet are very easy to cause temptation and curiosity to children, so children should be informed of their physiological knowledge in advance to prevent them from obtaining it through improper channels.
Parents had better guide their children with the same sex, mothers guide their daughters and fathers guide their sons. Let children realize that this is not a shameful thing, but a sign of growth. At the same time, children should pay attention to hygiene and avoid unnecessary panic.
You can download some teaching materials about reproductive system and human reproduction from the internet for children to see. I remember when children were young, they asked us where we came from. Adults are always perfunctory with children, and some say they are picked up in the street. Others said that it was sent by charging the phone bill, and few of them explained it to the children seriously, which led to the children not knowing what the situation was when they reached the physiological period.
If parents can't make it clear, they can download some related teaching materials from the Internet, which are both detailed and vivid. It can make children understand their changes more intuitively and vividly. In addition to making children aware of the changes that have taken place in their bodies, parents should also pay attention to psychological guidance for their children.
Tell children that now that they have grown up, they should be more mature and calm, think more and be less willful. Let the children face their own changes calmly and feel happy about it, and can't produce any unnecessary psychological pressure.
Conclusion: As parents of children, we should carefully observe the changes of children. Give correct guidance to children of different ages and let them face and accept it calmly. Physiological period is a problem that every child has to face. Parents should give it to their children early to avoid their children being anxious and not knowing how to deal with it.
When my son had his first nocturnal emission, he was very excited to come to me. It's interesting to think about what he said to me. I can only pretend not to be embarrassed. When the son grows up, 13. I didn't expect to ask me again the other day. Mom, do you know where I can watch action movies (pornography)? I asked him why he wanted to see it. He said he just wanted to know what happened. Later I chatted with him and asked him. You are boring. He said that one of them was really bored at home and didn't know what to do. On the one hand, he is really curious. Later, I asked him to go downstairs for a run every day, but he was too lazy to move. He asked for books. Now he reads books or watches the news after studying. I feel that there are some things that parents don't need to watch too much. These are all human nature. As long as you don't make it look like something, children won't think it's a problem. When he has a problem, you just don't understand and don't shirk it. You can check the information first and give him an answer. As long as you face it frankly, the child will not be afraid that you know or talk about him. As I said, children now know themselves better than we do. It's no big deal.
As parents, on the one hand, we should be happy to find that children have reached their physiological period and grown up. On the other hand, it is how to guide children correctly. I think most parents should be ashamed to talk about how to explain what is happening to their children. For boys, nocturnal emission is a sign of their maturity. Sperm is the key to human reproduction. Only the right key with the right lock can open the lock, and human beings can give birth to the next generation. Sperm is like a drop of water, stored in a boy's seminal vesicle. This seminal vesicle is like a reservoir. When summer comes, the reservoir will be full when there is more rain. When it is full, it will naturally flood. When puberty comes, it is normal for boys to produce sperm. Sperm will naturally flow out if the seminal vesicle can't hold it. For girls, menstruation is also a sign of maturity. Egg cell is a lock of human reproduction. The combination of key and lock will become a seed, and the seed will take root and sprout when planted in the ground. Without combination, an egg cell will not become a seed and naturally will not germinate. Farmers' uncles will naturally wait for the right seeds again and again. And every time it takes about a month to take care of it, the dirty thing to take care of is menstruation. Adolescent children's ignorance and curiosity about sex are infinite, which requires the correct guidance of parents. It is better to take the initiative to defend yourself than to let it go. I am a dragon fruit in spring, I hope I can help you!
Many parents report that children are developing earlier than before, and some female parents are very anxious about their son's physiological period. Actually, this is normal. Parents don't have to worry, because children will grow up. From newborn babies to infancy, adolescence and adulthood, the changes of children's body structure and temperament are normal physiological phenomena.
In the eyes of parents, children are always children, which is also an indirect fear of accepting that they are getting old, and it is also a manifestation of father's love and maternal love. Now the living standard has improved, the diet is more nutritious, children have experienced less physical labor since childhood, and parents have more time and conditions to take care of their children, which is why many friends think their children are "precocious". The physiological period of youth as a boy. Generally speaking, it is still later than girls of the same age. How should parents rationally face their son's physiological period?
First, the characteristics of adolescent development of boys. Accurately speaking, it should not be said that "the son has reached the physiological period", but has entered adolescence. Boys reach puberty around 12 years old, which is also the transition stage from children to adults. In this process, there are often some particularly obvious changes, such as children eating more, their strength is greater than before, and their temper is more violent; Physically, people have obviously grown taller, started to grow beards, and their body hair has become thicker. At the same time, the development of sexual organs is more mature, and wet dream phenomenon will appear. This is the performance of children entering adolescence. Parents don't have to panic. The son has finally grown up.
Second, guide and educate children to pay attention to adolescent health. In fact, this is an unavoidable topic, and even parents with traditional ideas find it difficult to talk about it, as if it were a shame. Evasion and avoidance are not desirable. Children's adolescence needs parents and children to face together, which is more conducive to the healthy growth of children and avoids making mistakes that should not be made. Parents should educate their children to pay attention to the necessary physical hygiene and the boundaries between boys and girls, actively participate in beneficial extracurricular activities, and read books that will help improve their academic performance.
What should parents do for their son's adolescence? When the son reaches the physiological period of youth, the father should do as much private communication education as possible. This is the truth that "men avoid their mothers and women avoid their fathers", so as to better avoid embarrassment and unnecessary pressure between children and parents. Parents also need to provide their children with a reasonable diet, especially boys' appetite will increase, and the demand for protein's rich foods such as chicken, duck and fish will be even greater. At the same time, it is necessary to standardize the rules of work and rest, combine work and rest, and let the children's adolescence be full of energy to study.
[Picking your nose] I feel that you are oversensitive. I don't want to say that today's children, that is, people who are close to the post-90 s, have learned a lot about this by themselves from the beginning. You don't have to worry about this problem at all. My father should have told me this knowledge. I was only embarrassed to know about it because I knew most of what he said.
First of all, such books will be distributed in schools. I don't know if I will send it now, but I will send it at school at that time. The knowledge inside is very detailed, with pictures and explanations. Both men and women have ways to deal with it and how to deal with it. In order to learn knowledge, my friends and I have read this book many times. After all, I was confused at the time and wanted to know this knowledge.
Second, your family is a son, so don't worry. Boys like to get together and play. If a person understands, it means that everyone in that group understands [yi tooth].
So don't worry at all. If you are still not at ease, you can only find time to talk. What should I do? 【 Pick your nose 】
This thing is too embarrassing in our country [picking your nose]
Relax, relax, it's normal, don't be too nervous. What worries you is that a boy is old and has no physical performance.
My son also had spermatorrhea last year (the second day of junior high school). Find a chance to chat with him, don't look so formal, lest the child mistakenly think that he has made a serious mistake. First of all, congratulate him on becoming a big boy, and then tell him what spermatorrhea represents, how to deal with it in the future, what to pay attention to when contacting girls, and three chapters.
Then I happened to find him watching porn, and I didn't bother him. Find an opportunity to tell him that I know, first express my understanding, and then talk about the disadvantages of watching, how to distract my attention and vent my influence on the future. I've been watching in the back and haven't found any clues yet.
Children of this age are very curious, and the more curious they are, the more curious they are. In addition, in the rebellious period, if it is not handled well, the parent-child relationship will be very tense. In the future, children will not tell their parents anything, and their parents are very anxious.
On the way back from picking up the children yesterday, I also chatted with them about the marginal issues. The parents of the classmates in the dormitory resolutely oppose puppy love, and as a result, puppy love is bad for parents. My son told my classmates my attitude: I don't object, but I won't explicitly support it. The premise is that it does not affect learning, and two people can promote it together. Never do anything that harms girls' health. The students expressed their envy [laughter]. I can see that my son is very proud and has an enlightened mother who is willing to tell me these things. This is the result I want.