Common problems and countermeasures of family education

Common problems in family education

In China, family education is easy to fall into the following problems:

1. Overprotection

If parents pay too much attention to meeting their children's superficial needs, it is easy to ignore their psychological needs. For example, playing is every child's innate nature, and it is inevitable that you will get hurt when you run and make trouble. At this time, if parents stop their children from running and playing for fear that their children will be hurt, it will be counterproductive, leading to children's infirmity and mental development will also be affected. So parents should not overprotect and interfere with their children's normal life.

Overindulge

In China, it is a common problem for many parents to overindulge their children. No matter what children want, parents will be unconditionally satisfied. In the long run, children can't resist setbacks, and it is easy to form personality shortcomings such as loneliness and selfishness. Psychologists suggest that parents must respect their children's personality when educating them, and they should neither spoil them too much nor treat them coldly. Parents can't obey their children and complete their tasks, instead of letting them try. In fact, children's self-attempt is a kind of ability exercise.

The third step is to "encourage seedlings"

Children's mental maturity has its own laws and takes some time. Now many parents are worried that their children will lose at the starting line, and desperately force their children to learn to walk and write early ... even beyond their acceptance. In the long run, it is also unfavorable for children's physical and mental development. What to do at what age, parents should guide their children efficiently and solicit their opinions, instead of educating and encouraging them in advance.

4. Excessive autocracy

Parents are old and experienced, and they are elders themselves. It is easy to educate their children with authority and expert attitude. If parents often use authoritative words to regulate their children and even restrict their freedom of life, then children will feel panic for a long time and even become less confident, which is not conducive to their mental growth. In addition, in family education, it is easy to have common problems such as restricting children's speech, picking on children's faults, and generalizing.

Forbidden area of family education

Parents always think that they have crossed more bridges than their children, despise their children, and always think that they are right and dominate their children. This kind of "high above" discipline is hard to convince children. Especially when criticizing children's mistakes, parents' condescending reprimand makes children feel unequal and difficult to balance. The result of "verbal dissatisfaction" can only be half the effort.

For example, I often tell my children that "you will be beaten if you do this" and "if you don't listen, you have to listen" and so on. "

be cynical

Child psychotherapy experts have found that parents' "cynicism" does great harm to children, especially young children. As children grow older, it is difficult to understand the hidden meaning of parents' words, which leads to confusion. Therefore, regardless of praise or criticism, parents should not be "cynical" or "punning", but should try to communicate with their children and let them know their problems clearly.

For example, "What do you think you can do?"

3. Absolute negation

Everything should be measured, and criticism and education should also be measured. It is true that children should be criticized for making mistakes, but if parents say "absolutely", it will easily arouse children's rebellious psychology and make them lose confidence. Children's self-confidence is very important, once lost, it will affect their lives.

For example, parents should avoid saying "You have never had a good meal" and "You always lie".

exaggerate

With the growth of children's age, their understanding will also improve, and they will have their own judgment on the truth of their parents' words. At this time, as parents, we should pay more attention to the authenticity of words. "Exaggeration" and "duplicity" can easily infect children and affect their future development. Praise children, according to the actual situation. Excessive exaggeration will make children more vulnerable to setbacks in future social life and unaccustomed to listening to criticism.

For example: taboo words, "You are the most handsome boy in the world" and so on.

5. Personal attacks

No matter how simple and stupid a child is, he can distinguish good words from bad words. "Bad words" with personal attacks, once heard by children, are very harmful. Children with poor psychological quality are likely to give up on themselves.

For example, parents should avoid saying anything personal, such as "You are as stupid as a donkey".

6. Threats and intimidation

This is the same as "exaggeration". Threats will only keep children away from their parents and alienate parents from their original intimate relationship.

For example, "If you don't behave well, I'll let you feed the wolves".

7. As cold as ice

Children long for warmth and fear loneliness. Cold words make children feel no love, and children feel no concern and love from their parents, which easily leads to autism and loneliness.

For example, "can't you see I'm busy?" "I'm busy, so leave me alone."

Matters needing attention in family education

1. Looking for bright spots

Educating children should not be based on grades. For children, it is more important to learn to be hardworking, kind and self-reliant. Therefore, even if children's academic performance is not good, they can't deny their other advantages.

2. Be a good husband and wife.

In a family, the roles of mom and dad should be completely different. For example, in addition to caring about the health of children's diet, mothers should always remind children to avoid making mistakes. A mother can gently warn her child: "Mom doesn't like you doing this. If you do this again, mom won't like you. " This kind of warning can be gradual, from suggestion to warning, step by step. But remember, mothers can't hit their children.

The education of children is not only the responsibility of the mother, but also the responsibility of the father. Experts often suggest that men should be strict with their children, even if it is really necessary to "hit" the children properly, this task should be completed by the father.

Both parents should play a certain role in family education, and neither party should take full responsibility. If the roles of parents change, the mother is too strict and the father is too weak, which may affect the normal personality development of children.

3. The misunderstanding of parent-child generation

Before the child 12 years old, as a parent, you don't have to explain to your child why you have to make every rule. It is necessary for children to develop obedience from an early age.

4. Appropriate rewards and punishments

If a child makes a mistake, parents will punish him, which will easily make the child feel that the mistake is nothing. If he encounters the same mistake again, he may make it again. Therefore, parents should have certain dignity and formulate punishment measures in advance. For children's education, rewards and punishments should be clear and reasonable. However, rewards and punishments should be enough. Too much denial and accusation can easily make children rebellious.

5. Parents do what they say.

Parents should always be consistent in educating their children, otherwise it will easily lead to their confusion, which is not conducive to the development of their good character.

Step 6 put an end to absolutism

Don't arbitrarily think that children's poor grades are due to bad attitudes, but help children learn, find out the reasons and overcome obstacles in learning.