Most parents feel this way, and there is really nothing they can do to talk back to their children. Is there really no way? No, many times, parents must let their children act according to their own intentions. If a child talks back, he is considered impolite and has no face. In fact, the purpose of children talking back is not to suppress and challenge their parents, but to make their parents change their original ideas through reasoning. Therefore, it is a mistake in parents' consciousness, which leads to the inability to find a solution to the problem of children talking back.
If children often talk back to their parents, they should pay attention. Generally speaking, children talk back to their parents for the following reasons.
First, parents and children lack communication.
Some parents blindly adopt paternalistic education methods and tolerate no different opinions from their children. However, as children grow up, they gradually show their independence. At this time, if parents take care of everything carefully, children will have rebellious psychology. You will feel that your parents interfere with your behavior too much and it is easy to talk back to your parents. Parents should talk to their children more, learn more about their thoughts, and know their thoughts and likes, so as to reduce the occurrence of children talking back.
Second, parents usually spoil their children too much.
Parents spoil their children too much, which will make them lack restraint in front of their elders, be rude and go their own way, and parents can't correct their children's behavior in time. When children's bad habits have been formed, it will be more difficult to correct them.
Third, parents themselves are not enough to set an example.
Parents usually do not pay attention to their own behavior at home, do not respect the elderly, and often quarrel with their families because of some trivial matters, which will have a subtle influence on their children. Parents should set an example in everything. If parents treat people kindly and respect their elders, they can become role models for children, and children will listen to their parents' instructions and stop talking back.
Sometimes, children talk back to remind parents of improper education methods. For example, if a child does something wrong and his parents criticize him, the child will be unconvinced and talk back; If the child has done nothing wrong and his parents wronged him, the child will feel wronged and talk back; The child doesn't want to do anything wrong. If parents force him to do it, the child will get bored and talk back. At this time, it is not a bad thing for children to talk back. Parents can reflect on whether their education methods are appropriate.
Therefore, children talk back to their parents, and parents should be tolerant and understanding, instead of "talking back" to their children and intensifying contradictions. Instead of simply saying, "Don't talk back!" Let's say, "Baby, I understand how you feel, but can you speak in a different tone?" Or say, "son, mom doesn't like you talking like that." You have to convince your mother calmly with your reason! " "If the child is angry, parents can also say," I know you are angry now. Can we talk about this when you calm down? "
If the child has his own opinion, and it is correct or reasonable, parents should not casually give the child a disobedient conclusion. Parents should respect their children's opinions and admit their own shortcomings.
If the child is not correct, then talking back is worth discussing. Parents can deal with it in the following ways.
(1) control emotions
Don't argue with children, give them ample opportunities to speak and let them say what they want to say. If the child is right, parents should change their views and adopt the child's opinions; If the child is not correct, parents should calmly let the child accept their parents' requirements.
(2) Jump out of the whirlpool of quarrels
From the standpoint of a third party, discuss the problem of "talking back" with children. Turn the answer that intensifies contradictions into discussion, and distinguish right from wrong by expressing your own views in the discussion. Only in this way can we reveal the correct viewpoint, correct the wrong understanding, and give play to the children's debating ability.
(3) Determine the correct method
Whether the children are right or the parents are right, both sides should be urged to accept the correct requirements in some way. This is the democratic family education we want to advocate. In front of children, the tone of parents is very important, which is related to the degree to which children accept their parents' opinions.
To treat children's back correctly, parents should follow the principle of appreciation and tolerance, less "authoritative education" and abandon that authoritative posture. Parents need to have enough democratic demeanor and awareness of appreciating their children, put themselves on an equal footing with their children, and treat their children with appreciation. Town people take advantage of the situation and bully the small with "big", which damages children's self-esteem and leads to the formation of children's rebellious and evasive psychology.