The best way to raise a child: establish a relationship with him, make him feel close to you, spend more time with him, caress him, hide behind his mother and play hide-and-seek with him.
A little older, three or five years old, you can care about what he painted and where he went to play on weekends. You can also join his game and race with him.
When you are six or seven years old, you can care about her favorite images, such as Altman or Queen Aisha and Snow White.
Let the child feel that you are safe and care about him, so as to establish a relationship with the child.
The best way to raise children: parents should have their own principles and bottom lines, and know what children can and can't do. In fact, many parents don't understand what is? Freedom? .
Once a child is two or three or four years old, he can eat if he wants, but he can't eat if he wants, and he can't eat if he wants to go out to play.
When I was six or seven years old, I suddenly kept my children under strict control and beat them if I didn't listen. Of course, the child is very uncomfortable.
Really? Freedom? This is a process of gradual liberalization. When children are one or two years old, rationality has not been established, and many things are still unclear. What did you let him decide? When he made a decision, he had no idea what the result would be, and he couldn't afford it.
So? Freedom? And responsibility are one. He can have as much freedom as he can take responsibility.
For example, a one-and-a-half-year-old child who wants to eat popsicles may have diarrhea after eating them, and he may not be able to associate diarrhea with eating popsicles. Moreover, he is so young that it is not clear how much damage diarrhea will cause. Therefore, adults don't have to give him the freedom to eat popsicles, because he can't be responsible for his own body.
However, if a seven-year-old child wants to eat popsicles, I think he can be given this freedom. Before eating popsicles, tell him that if he has diarrhea, let him moxibustion his stomach. If he is responsible, let him go.
Therefore, freedom is a process of gradual liberalization.
At first,
Children can only take a little responsibility,
Give him some freedom.
Slowly,
Children can take on more responsibilities,
There is more and more freedom.
Two-year-old children can decide whether to wear shoes, five-year-old children can decide how to use their pocket money, and nine-year-old children can decide where to go for an outing at the weekend and prepare snacks, water and other necessary sundries.
Now, can we go back? Gentle and firm? Parents' inner needs are very firm, and children can decide what can and cannot be decided. The principle and bottom line should be clear in your heart.
If you have to listen to your parents, such as going to bed at nine o'clock in the evening, your parents will be firm inside. At nine o'clock, go and tell the children to sleep. If the child has unfinished business, he can agree to extend it for ten minutes.
But at 9: 00 10, parents must take their children to bed and turn off the lights. Whether the child is crying or moving hard, he must be put on the bed. You can hug and caress him when he is crying, but you can't let him do anything else.
Parents should be quiet, don't be afraid of their children crying or struggling, and don't be angry because of their children crying.
Firmly believe in your principles, relax, hug your child quietly, or kiss your child on the forehead, but remember, don't talk too much and be reasonable.
The best way to raise children: gentle and firm. Firm? It is necessary to implement it for a long time and form a habit, so as to understand how much freedom children have at which stage and how much responsibility they can bear. At this time, parents have principles and bottom lines in their hearts, and they should always adhere to this principle and bottom line.
Children may roll on the ground because they don't want to wear thick clothes, or they may cry for two or three hours because they don't have popsicles. As long as you make a decision, stick to your decision no matter what he does.
In addition, the child has been crying, do you need to caress it? Baby, you are still young. Mom won't let you eat popsicles because your body will be uncomfortable. Mom loves you anyway. ?
Day after day, year after year, you will always have principles in your heart, and children will grow into people with principles in their hearts and have stronger self-control than adults. Because he knows that crying is useless, and what should be done must be done all the time.
You give your children more freedom year after year,
Children can also feel that their hearts are slowly growing up.
You're always there for the kids,
Children also know that when they encounter any difficulties,
Parents will always be their harbor.
So, please be gentle and firm with your children. Gentle and firm education is more important than how many educational books parents read and how many parenting courses they attend, and it is more important than letting children attend extra-long classes and cram schools.