Compared with boys, girls are relatively sensitive and fragile. If they are spoiled by their mothers or improperly educated, they will easily become more sensitive and vulnerable. How can such a girl become a confident and independent person? But most mothers don't think so. They think that girls are born to be loved and cared for. This view makes them lost in the misunderstanding of raising girls, thus cultivating a dependent, selfish, fragile, indifferent and willful daughter.
In fact, a truly rich daughter should not only cultivate her independent personality, good habits and morality, but also give her some frustration education appropriately, so that she can learn to show her wisdom and courage in the face of difficulties.
Let's look at two stories about setbacks first.
Story 1: A company recruits employees, and a female student who graduated from a famous university goes for an interview. After posting the list, I saw that I didn't have my name, so I jumped into the river and committed suicide and was rescued. Later, female students learned that she was the first, but the staff made mistakes in the process of copying points. So, the female student went to report for duty, but the company boss refused to hire her. The reason is: "If there is such a small setback, you will jump into the river. What should you do when the company encounters greater setbacks? "
Story 2: A girl goes to a company to apply for cleaning staff. The staff asked her, "Did you write back?" She said, "I will write my name." So she wasn't hired. Later, she became an outstanding figure and held a press conference in her luxurious conference room. The reporter said: "Your experience is really touching. You should write an autobiography. " She said, "If I can write, maybe I'm still a cleaner."
Similarly, in the face of the frustration of not being hired, the two girls have completely different endings. This also shows how important it is for a person to have the ability to resist setbacks!
So in real life, how should mothers educate girls about setbacks in order to cultivate their ability to cope with difficulties and setbacks?
Guide girls to correctly understand setbacks.
Niu Niu is a naughty little girl. Her mother usually dotes on her and makes her jump up and down. Once, she accidentally fell off the chair. Although it was nothing serious, her mother was still very nervous and went to the hospital for a general examination. In the evening, in order to calm her daughter down, her mother bought a lot of delicious food and even sent the rice to her mouth when she was eating.
? Later, Niu Niu went to primary school and then to middle school. Her parents, like her patron saint, can't wait to be with her all the time. As a result, Niu Niu's self-care ability is very poor. And because of her unruly personality, her classmates don't like to make friends with her. When encountering difficulties, her first thought is how her mother can help her solve them, and she doesn't think about it at all. His adversity quotient is very low.
The reason why Niu Niu has become like this is largely inseparable from her mother's education. Girls can't do without the help of adults when they first get in touch with external things and learn knowledge, but if this help becomes a substitute for a long time, children themselves will lack the psychological experience to overcome difficulties, and once they encounter setbacks, they will have fear and laziness, which will create obstacles to continuing their studies.
Therefore, when a mother raises her daughter, she must first break the girl's dependence on learning. When children face setbacks, let her intuitively understand the development process of things, and gradually realize the universality and objectivity of setbacks from repeated experiences. Next, the mother must guide and encourage the children to find ways to solve the problem.
Deliberately create some difficulties and give girls a chance to exercise.
Nowadays, the only child is more common, and mothers are more afraid of having their children in their mouths and leaving them in their hands. Children who grow up under this kind of family education are often timid, at a loss, weak-willed and dependent. Therefore, in order to change this situation, mothers should try their best to make use of difficulties, create difficult situations and give girls opportunities to exercise and solve difficulties.
For example, if a girl learns to walk and wrestle, her mother should not help her at once, but encourage her to overcome difficulties and stand up. You can let the girl sleep alone at night to overcome her timidity and fear of the dark; If a girl doesn't like sports, her mother can make rules with her, help her arrange her daily life, and let her keep exercising.
However, when creating difficult situations for girls, mothers should also pay attention to the following problems: first, we must pay attention to the moderation and easing of difficulties; Secondly, when girls encounter setbacks and want to retreat, their mothers should give more encouragement and affirmation; Finally, for girls who are caught in a serious setback situation, their mothers should guide them in time to prevent them from having a series of bad emotions.
Teach girls to deal with setbacks.
Balzac, a famous French writer, said: "Suffering is a stepping stone to life, wealth to the able and abyss to the weak." This shows how important it is for mothers to teach girls how to deal with setbacks. Specifically, a mother should tell her daughter to do her own thing; Let the daughter participate in practical activities and suffer a little; Cultivate a strong and fearless will; Teach her to adjust her bad mood. ...
One mother did a good job in this respect.
Since my daughter went to high school, she suddenly became silent. When she comes home every night, she just does her homework and the smile on her face is much less. I know some of the reasons. My daughter has good grades in primary and junior high schools and has many good friends. Later, after my daughter was admitted to high school, we moved because of work transfer, and my daughter also transferred to a new key high school. Unfamiliar environment and the sudden increase of study pressure made her daughter unable to adapt, and her scores in several exams were not ideal, which made her proud daughter suffer the biggest blow.
? I don't think my daughter's disheartened state can continue. I must help her out of trouble. Therefore, as long as my daughter is not too busy studying after school, I will take the initiative to chat with her. I told her that the situation she is experiencing now is normal, and she must try her best to adjust her mentality and make her mood better; Then take the initiative to make some like-minded friends; Next, she will slowly sum up the problems encountered in her study, find the crux of the decline in her grades, and finally solve them. I also encouraged my daughter to talk to me about her troubles and tell her that I will always be her best friend. ...
Since then, my daughter has gradually adapted. Really, as I said, she took the initiative to make friends and find out the reasons for the decline in her academic performance. Now she feels at home in the new environment and becomes happier.
Expert classroom
? Sun Yunxiao, an education expert, believes that a girl's life is destined to be full of challenges. However, most girls in modern family education are "spoiled" and "overprotected", which makes children lose their due ability to bear setbacks. To this end, his suggestion is:
1. Tell the girl that frustration is not terrible, what is terrible is to avoid difficulties and setbacks.
2. Encourage and supervise the girl to insist on doing something she should do but is unwilling to do.
Parents should learn to harden their hearts and "force" their daughters to hone and enhance her resilience.