If parents don't worry about their children's sexual and physical development in advance, then the early arrival of children's sexual interest will worry parents. A mother once asked, "My daughter is only 7 years old. How can she be so interested in things between men and women?" As soon as I saw the scenes of men and women making out on TV, I couldn't take my eyes off her and couldn't hear what she said. Once her father covered her eyes, and she struggled to shout,' Don't cover, don't cover! What is this woman doing with a man? You say, what should we do as parents? "
In fact, this is a very common problem, and parents' respective handling methods will lead to completely different results.
I can't stop it if I want to.
In the face of the increasingly common phenomenon of precocious puberty in children, some people call for purifying the environment and putting an end to everything that may have a negative impact on children. The environment really needs to be purified, and many countries are making continuous efforts in this regard. For example, some movies are only for adults, and some books and periodicals are not allowed to be sold to children, and obscene articles are strictly prohibited. However, to what extent should it be purified?
Many people think that "purification" means that children are not allowed to touch anything related to sex. In fact, this is impossible. For example, can all the sex-related content in TV movies be deleted? make love
Are health care products stores and STD clinics delisted? Can children not see some intimate actions between their mothers' breasts, sanitary napkins and their parents? Many surveys show that people around us talk about sex, which is one of the main sources for children to acquire sexual knowledge (of course, this kind of knowledge can be divided into scientific and unscientific). Obviously, this is inevitable.
Many people's worries about children still stem from the idea that sex is obscene and should not be touched, otherwise it will deteriorate. Under the control of this concept, many parents are secretive about sex, thus causing children's mystery about sex. These parents don't understand that sexual abuse will certainly have a negative impact on the next generation, but children also have a negative impact on the mystery of sex. Just like the father who blindfolded his daughter in front of her, his behavior only further stimulated the child's interest in sex, and this interest may develop to a perverted level. There are too many examples of this backfiring.
It is the best policy to follow good advice.
The author once visited Dr. Wu Minlun, a famous sexologist in Hong Kong, and saw a lot of information and videos about sex in his home, and they didn't shy away from children. The author asked him: "If the child sees it, will it have a bad influence?" He replied: "It is natural and not surprising that they have been exposed to these things since childhood, and they are not particularly interested in them." His wife also told the author: "When the child was young, he asked me,' What is a man and a woman doing in bed on TV?' I said, "They're making out!" . The child asked again, "Then why are you still screaming?" I explained, "that's the sound of happiness." "Dr. Wu Minlun has two children, who were only twelve or thirteen years old at that time. They were academically gifted at school, and now they are successful in their careers, which is the pride of their parents.
Of course, the family situation of sexologists is different from that of ordinary people, but one thing is certain: sex is absolutely natural. If we treat it with a natural attitude, children will develop healthily; If you are secretive, you will be self-defeating. Tan Sitong, a revolutionary and thinker in the late Qing Dynasty, once said that treating sex is like "hiding things in a basket". "The more you can't see, the more you want to see". Just open this box and there won't be any fuss. Engels also said that the German working class will one day talk about what they feel comfortable during the day and at night with a very natural and frank attitude.
We don't advocate letting children know about sex too early. If they had known earlier, they would have nothing to be afraid of. The attitude of parents plays a decisive role, and the correctness of this attitude determines the development direction of children's sexual psychology.
Parents should know that children who grow up in a "vacuum" have no resistance, and so do sexual problems. Don't dream of keeping your child in a vacuum. It is important to purify the environment, but it is more important to enhance children's discrimination and resistance. When children come into contact with sexual problems, parents should use scientific knowledge to guide their children and let them understand sex naturally and seriously. This is the correct attitude towards precocious puberty.