The more I forbid you to do it, the more you have to do it. Children always go against their parents? Netizen: Parents should do this well!
The child next door is about four or five years old. The aunt next door always says that their children are not only disobedient, but also always misinterpret their words and contradict them. A flower bed in the community is being renovated. Uncle menstruation said to the child, Let the child? Don't go to flower beds in the last week, especially don't step on cement? Since then, I haven't paid special attention to the children's daily movements.
On the second day after the aunt next door finished speaking, the child ran to the small flower bed and left his little footprints on the decorated concrete floor. The property ran to the next door to complain, which made the aunt next door feel embarrassed and at a loss, so she had to apologize.
The child's behavior made the uncles and aunts next door feel very angry. I told my children clearly that they were forbidden to do this, but they always had to do the opposite to themselves. The more things that are not allowed, the more children will do.
It seems that every child has a super power, that is, he can turn what his parents don't want him to do into what his parents must do. This super power of turning negation into affirmation is also the biggest headache for many parents.
Children's superpowers are not only because their children are naughty and disobedient, but because their parents are giving orders to their children? Negative? Command, what will be in the child's heart? Are you sure? The role of. This is not only because the information that children can accept is contrary to the information conveyed by their parents, but also because it is a kind of psychology? White bear effect? , which is what we call. Rebound effect? .
So-called? White bear effect? Is that when someone tells you not to think about the appearance of a white bear in your mind, the other person will find it in your mind when he mentions it? White bear? The word "white bear" appears in the shape of "white bear". In other words, when the outside world sends a signal to our brain that we are forbidden to do something, the brain will do it subconsciously.
Under this effect, we will find that the more we know that we won't think or do anything, the more we can't control our brains and let them think. One of the simplest examples is that when we need to catch a trip or have something important the next day, we will remind ourselves not to think and not to lose sleep before going to bed.
But the result is that my brain keeps turning and thinking. Haven't we adults dealt with this problem yet? White bear effect? Ability, when receiving negative information, will subconsciously go in a positive direction, not to mention children who have no self-control ability.
Use it well? White bear effect? Let the children become more obedient!
In the process of children's growth, children's psychology will be constantly affected? White bear effect? Because children can't fully understand and digest what their parents say when they grow up, their own abilities are still lacking and are gradually improving. Therefore, when parents ask their children what they want, the information they can receive may be incomplete and only the literal meaning can be understood.
For example, a parent tells a child? Baby, you can't leave things lying around, okay? Parents pass a complete sentence, while children may only receive information? Things? 、? Release? These children, especially young children, will only explore the information they receive and may put things in what they think is reasonable.
When parents see it, they will think that the child is putting things, fighting against himself and talking to the child in an angry way. This is actually a misunderstanding between parents and children.
Therefore, when parents want to put forward any requirements for their children, they can try to turn negative information into positive information just like putting things away. What should parents say to their children? Honey, you have to put your things away, okay? Far better than children saying negative things.
And many times, when parents make negative requests, children will subconsciously ignore negative affixes and only remember the affirmative sentences behind negative words.