Procrastination is a personality trait that most children will show when they grow up, but some children show it more obviously.
According to McGregor's "Y Theory", this character can be explained as that most people hate work by nature. Of course, nature can achieve the effect of change through the influence of acquired environment and conditions.
As McGregor proved, if people are given the right opportunities, they will also like their jobs, because they are also eager to realize their potential.
Similarly, children's procrastination can also be corrected through parents' scientific education. The key lies in what kind of scientific method to use and how to play the best effect of this scientific method!
Few parents have thought of trying to delay their children's satisfaction. As parents, our habitual thinking has always been "give children the best living conditions, create a good living environment for children, and let them spend their childhood carefree …".
There is no denying that the starting point of these ideas is good. If children can get correct guidance in the process of growing up, they can also achieve an ideal state of cultivation.
However, in real education, most parents ignore the essential relationship between children's growth and education, and parents fail to consider how to give when giving!
Usually, children can gradually adapt to the principle of self-discipline from the age of five, and at this time, parents should take advantage of their children's growth characteristics to avoid letting them fall into the current "instant enjoyment" type of comfort.
Educators believe that if children often lack the experience of "delayed satisfaction" during their growth, they are likely to show procrastination, irritability and impatience.
We are always discussing such a question: is the education model we give our children upside down? When the child reaches adolescence, parents will discover the defects of the child's personality in hindsight. At this time, they began to complain that their children lacked the consciousness of "post-enjoyment". The ancients said, "You can be a master only after suffering.". Isn't this a fact?
Many educators have come to a similar conclusion. Children who have never received "delayed gratification" education since childhood are more likely to develop into "problem of juvenile" after puberty than other children who have received such education.
Although their innate IQ and EQ are not worse than other children, they are far behind other children in learning ability and autonomy.
This part of children's behavior is often dominated by hormones, and "impulsive impatience" is the most common evaluation of these children by most teachers. Moreover, few of them are willing to think actively. In the eyes of children, this has become a common normal life, and for parents, this picture of children is tantamount to "extremely bad and heartbreaking."
When it comes to why this is so. The answer still has to go back to children's education.
If children can have enough self-discipline, or self-control, and are not in a hurry to enjoy the temporary pleasure, how can there be "pleasure first, then pay the bill"?
Psychologist Parker was once unable to turn around when he was seeing an accountant in his thirties. The reason why the accountant asked for help was that she found that her procrastination was getting worse and worse, and she wanted to change it herself, but she had no clue and had no choice but to seek psychotherapy.
Parker has discussed her attitude towards company bosses, colleagues, family and friends, as well as her views on competition, career vision and achievements, but failed to find the crux of the procrastination problem. Later, I found a new field in a chat and found the root of solving the problem!
When Parker asked the accountant, "Do you like cakes?"
The accountant nodded without hesitation.
Parker then asked, "Do you like cream or cake center?"
The accountant replied without thinking, "It must be cream!" "
"What is your usual habit of eating cakes?" Parker thinks that the accountant will definitely think that he is undoubtedly a stupid psychologist.
"Naturally, eat the cream first, then eat the cake core." The accountant said excitedly.
It was this series of seemingly unrelated problems that Parker found the crux of the problem, and then he changed the problem of cake to work. As Parker expected, an accountant always finishes his favorite work first with great interest, and the rest is mostly boring and difficult.
No matter how much time she has left, she is unwilling to start working, which leads to the accumulation of multiple projects and makes her feel even more miserable!
After that, Parker suggested that accountants should finish the most difficult work first according to the degree of difficulty in their daily work. If the working hours in a day are eight hours, then three hours are spent in pain and the remaining five hours are happy.
Obviously, the efficiency of this working mode is much higher than spending five hours or more cooking the rest of the tricky work! Later, accounting was constantly trying to change, and it didn't take long to completely overcome procrastination.
Everyone has a different lifestyle, and choosing "delayed gratification" is one of them.
This means restraining the psychology of seeking comfort and resetting the order of happiness and pain. Let yourself face the problem first, bear the pain, then try to solve the problem, and then enjoy the final happiness!
This method works well when parents educate their children. For example, when playing with children, parents can borrow their favorite toys for a while and tell their children that they can play with other toys first, and then it's their turn to wait until mom and dad are finished.
Children like to drag their feet when doing homework and watch TV from time to time? Move the toys around? You can also use "delayed gratification" to tell your children, "After you finish your homework, you can play whatever you want, and your parents won't rush you, let alone criticize you."
After comparing the two, children will find that it is true. Instead of doing homework while playing now, it is better to finish your homework first, so you don't have to worry about the risk of being scolded all the time! In fact, children will also calculate gains and losses, but they just need someone to guide them and slowly integrate this treatment into their lives, becoming the norm, and the problem of procrastination will naturally be solved.
Successful people have strong self-control, and they know the importance of "delaying satisfaction", but many people understand this truth, but only a few people practice it, which is why losers account for a considerable part.
Of course, don't complain that children are inferior to others. Some time ago, you didn't see the parents' efforts behind Wu Yi Shu's high score. There must be excellent parents behind the excellent children, but most of us only see the glamorous children on the stage, but ignore the role of parents.
If children want to achieve something, parents must also pay something and share the same direction with their children. It is said that every child is the epitome of his parents. When you want your child to "delay satisfaction", do you still talk about losing weight in front of your child, but at the same time you are too lazy to exercise? Is it too boring to complain? Watch TV before you do it?
Does this normality often appear in your life? If the answer is yes, how can you confidently let your children finish their homework before watching TV? When children refute you with your daily state, you will be speechless!
"Delaying gratification" is not only applicable to children, but also a challenge to parents. Family education has never been achieved overnight, nor is it unilateral pressure. It needs mutual recognition and implementation. This is the proper model of family education, and it is also a prerequisite for its effectiveness!