Whenever I eat at home, I am always most worried.

Because the daughter is becoming more and more overbearing, with it, my sister's daughter is becoming more and more humble.

I never liked the tone of my daughter's "little self-esteem":

Because she is young, she is desperate to get it, because in her mind, she is entitled to what she wants, she is entitled to the love of others, and she can easily get it from others.

Under the persuasion of adults again and again, my niece began to infiltrate a spirit of "being too modest".

Once, my daughter yelled at a fish ball, and my grandmother said, "My sister asked her sister, you give her the one in your bowl."

My niece quietly took the fish balls out of the bowl as if she had done something wrong.

I stopped it immediately. I said, you only have one, no extra, and you really want to eat it. Why did you give it to your sister? Because she is young. Because she cried?

Then I put the fish balls back in her bowl.

My daughter is still working. Crying in heaven. I don't usually care about such behavior. I just think this is hers. She can spare no effort to fight for it. I applaud her. It's not hers. I don't care if she rolls around on the floor.

My mother naturally thinks that my behavior is generous. I just hurt the growth of another child because I don't want my own child.

Because I will probably always remember that although my niece is old, she will always be bullied. She also said that I was afraid of others crying, so I made them cry.

I have told her many times that since others don't care whether you will be beaten or not, you should at least tell the teacher.

She is taciturn.

2

Moderate humility is politeness, while excessive humility is incompetence and cowardice.

The spirit of humility in "Chinese education" always has an excessive power.

When you need it badly, when you have it on your own, when you are not rich enough to give it to others, it shows that you have no ability to be humble at all.

You are too satisfied with others. Who cares? Grasping what you have is the greatest love for yourself.

This is not selfish, nor is it smart.

It's that you can't satisfy other people's desires, and you shouldn't.

three

When I was young, I saw one thing in the countryside:

A sister was holding a drumstick, and suddenly her brother rushed over.

The person next to him said, just give it to your brother. He is growing, so boys should eat more.

The elder sister said that he ate his share and now he is robbing me. I have grown up, too!

The neighbor next to her rolled her eyes at the girl. In private, some people say that this girl is too ignorant. How can she treat her brother like this?

Elder sister didn't care and ate the chicken leg herself.

This elder sister is my good friend Xiao A.

Xiao said that most of the time, she didn't think it was son preference, but her parents' ingrained "modesty thought".

For example, her brother fights with an outsider, and even if his teeth are knocked out once, her father says that it is a blessing for us to suffer, so we should be modest. Forget it.

Failure is not a blessing, but a curse, and being too modest is not a blessing.

So until 12 years old, his brother was not old enough to protect himself.

"My parents want me to be humble to my brother, who is outside and wants us to be humble to others. I didn't agree. "

"Everyone has their own income. I won't take others, and others can't rob me. "Little ah said, then the family always thought she was too competitive and unyielding, but no one dared to provoke her again.

At that time, his brother had to take uncooked rice to the canteen to cook. Because there was no place, he couldn't cook, and he was often hungry all day. What activities are there in the class, he is always excluded every time; Others can rummage through his schoolbag and pencil box at will, and he is silent; Occasionally, I was beaten on my body, and I refused to name the hitter.

Finally, one day, Xiao couldn't help it. He dragged his brother outside and beat him up, and he hit back. Because her brother knows that her sister is going to make way for her brother. He can't be defeated by his sister.

She said that when they got into a ball, she suddenly felt that her brother was still like a boy.

"I am your closest person. You can fight me back. Why can't you fight back at others? " Her brother suddenly woke up. Perhaps, many people's growth is only a moment.

He finally looks like an adult.

Don't bully others, but don't be bullied by others; They don't rob others, but they can't be chased by others.

four

About today's theme, perhaps, many people think it is poisoned chicken soup.

Perhaps, many people have not clearly defined what is moderate and what is excessive.

But I just don't want my children to be humble at will without humility.

Because you deserve it, you have to fight for it; If it is yours, you must guard it;

Today he can be humble at will, and it's hard to say later. In the face of fierce competition, he will retreat unscathed and retreat to the last position.

Because he doesn't know that he is always so humble, and humility becomes worthless; He doesn't understand that at this rate, he will be unable to fight back at any time.

That kind of weakness that you don't know will go deep into his bone marrow like anesthetic. In a few years, everyone else will advance wave after wave, only he, in situ, said, you first.

five

The world is warm and cool.

It is a basic skill for children to see what they deserve.

It was several years before we dared to let her fly, knowing that she would not be hurt, and that she knew how to be measured-not to rob or be robbed.

Author: Xie. Columnist authorized to reprint from WeChat official account: Qiu Xiaoyu.

WeChat official account Juanzi mother tells stories.